Taking Breaks

Photo by FrozenQ8

You may have noticed that we have been absent from :simple:balance: over the last few months. (And if you are someone who noticed, THANK YOU for being a faithful reader!). Things have been quite hectic in our lives and in those of our contributing writers, so this space has recently been neglected. It's certainly not surprising that folks like Maggie and me, who have such an interest in work-life balance, would ourselves lead very busy lives. And as you likely are, we are constantly seeking ways to get it all done and feel a sense of balance through the busyness.

One of the things that I am learning, both through my own experience and through listening to and watching others, is that sometimes finding balance means letting things go. And quite honestly, that's what has happened here. Other things have taken priority – our day jobs, families, health, and the like – and so blogging has had to take a temporary back seat. That's not to say that these past few months have been all whirlwind. Our break from :simple:balance: has also coincided with some much-needed vacations, time outside in the garden, and connecting with friends and loved ones. All of it is important and all of it contributes to our daily, monthly, and lifelong nourishment. And, as with most things, when something steps up the priority ladder, something else must step down.

I have to say that I have missed :simple:balance: during this break. I always find motivation and inspiration from our guest writers and in the comments from you, our readers. And doing the research and writing for my own posts is also an endeavor for me to keep learning and implementing healthy changes in my own life. I have come to really enjoy this little space, and so I have felt the void these last few months. I have also learned a lot about myself and my own sense of balance during this time. While :simple:balance: and the connections with other folks like yourself are important to me, I currently have other things in my life that have to come first.

We hope to be back here soon with new content, ideas, and thought-provoking posts. So please don't give up on us! But until then, we encourage you each to take stock of your own lives. Do you need a break from anything in your life that is currently taking time and energy that you don't have? Is it time to re-assess your priorities and determine what should and needs to come first?

Let us be your example and permission to do just that. Take a break from something, drop something down the priority list, and use some of your leftover time for a task or relationship that you've neglected. After all, achieving simple balance does not mean "doing/having it all." It means finding comfort in the ebb and flow of life – vacations and breaks definitely included!

Blooming Mindfully

photo by Casey Conerly

We have been away for almost a month dealing with our work-life balance or in my case with some imbalances. We are very happy to introduce a guest writer, Casey Conerly. She is the owner of Conerly Productions (public relations and voice messaging services). She is also a songwriter, photo bug, garden piddler, yoga nut, spiritual seeker, one-time surfer girl. Enjoy!

I have enjoyed watching my summer garden get its bloom on this year; appreciating the beauty in each step of the process. What a magical journey from budding to bloom; and becoming. No rushing; fully present, alive and beautiful each step of the way. I think we could all learn a thing or two from nature, as we strive to keep our lives in balance each day.

For me, awareness is the key to balanced living. To be fully present and engaged allows you to see every moment of your life and appreciate it. I find that when I am rushing; or my mind is in the past or the future, it causes stress. And, I miss what is going on right now. Awareness helps you stay in touch with your feelings as you go about your day and can help you catch yourself before you are suddenly wondering why you want to eat a half gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

Each one of us is unique. What brings you peace and joy, what drains you, what energizes you? Self awareness will help you create the balance you need. I know that being in nature is a de-stressor for me. After I have been working at my computer for awhile, I will go outside in my garden to see what is new, breathe in the air and disconnect from work for just a few minutes.

When you are mindful, you are in balance with the universe. If you work on it over time, and create space for the things you love, your life will be much more harmonious. If you have too much going on in your life, decide what is truly important; and simplify. Simplicity allows more space in your life. Leave yourself some breathing room.
When I am present and aware in each moment, I notice much less stress, I make clearer decisions, and I have an underlying sense of peace and joy. Mindfulness allows me to bloom slowly, taking in each precious moment of the journey.

Hope you will have a wonderful 4th of July with many mindful moments.

Can Chaos Be a Blessing?

Photo by nickwheeleroz

This morning, I read this post on the Wall Street Journal's blog, The Juggle, which is dedicated to stories and information about balancing life's various roles. (I highly recommend the site, by the way, and often find motivation and entertainment in the posts there). The title of today's post, "Living a Full Life by Embracing the Chaos," is what caught my attention. After all, doesn't that idea sum up my own approach to work-life balance and the goal of finding balance for myself?

We all know that trying to find a sense of balance in the chaos of life can be a struggle. I'm sure we can all relate to The Juggle author's rendition of her own chaos which involves childcare, a job with hard deadlines, travel, a marriage, and a menagerie of other responsibilities. Yet, the idea of choosing to embrace the fact that all of those responsibilities may clash and conflict with one another is new to many of us.

I often hear friends and acquaintances describing their life situations from a negative perspective, and admit that I do it myself too:

"I am overwhelmed at work."
"I just don't know how to make more time for my kids and family."
"Down-time for myself? That must be a joke!"

It is easy to focus on the feelings of anxiety or sadness we feel when life seems out of control because those are the feelings that often most present. However, if we choose – actively make a choice – to look at and think about our lives from a different perspective, doing so can make a world of difference in how we feel.

The Juggle author described what some might perceive to have been a day or two from hell – all of her well-laid plans went out the window and unexpected challenges presented themselves from the left and right. I can imagine myself feeling overwhelmed in such a situation, and when thinking about it or describing it to someone else, honing in on all that went wrong. But as she described, her own perspective was a bit different. Rather than feeling defeated by the chaos, she looked at all that she had on her plate and realized that having all of those things meant she was living a "full life." The fact that she could have so much chaos in her life meant that she had a lot of blessings to be thankful for.

I wonder if we all could take a lesson from her experience and perspective? And maybe make a conscious choice to look at our own chaos from another angle: focusing on the fact that all of our life roles, responsibilities, and blessings are what cause the chaos to happen sometimes? It sure seems like it could make difference in our experiences, and make us focus more on gratitude and less on struggle.

How might you try to incorporate this idea today?

Staying in Tune

photo by Hamed Saber

We are very happy to have Dana back with us sharing her wisdom on staying in touch with yourself and knowing when you need to slow down. Enjoy!

I run to stay balanced. It helps me manage my stress, stay healthy, and get some all-too-precious “me time.” I was recently reminded, however, that it is possible to get too much of a good thing.

I recently trained for and completed my first half marathon. I have been a recreational runner since grad school, and I started running again about a year ago after a few years’ hiatus. Because I am goal-oriented by nature, my slow twenty minute jogs gradually turned into speedy hour-long excursions, and then on a whim I decided to sign up for this race. Unfortunately, about two weeks before the big day I caught a bug that I couldn’t seem to kick. I finished the race, but my performance wasn’t what I had hoped, and the incessant rattle in my chest made it hard to breathe – which can make a thirteen-mile run seem interminable! It took me two weeks of complete rest to beat it. This experience got me thinking about how we know when we are out of balance.

I am very rarely ever sick, and when I do get sick, it is usually a briefer and less severe version of what is going around, so for me to be ill so long was a clear message to me from my body that I had gone astray. In my quest to meet my goal, I had bulldozed my way through rather than heeding my body’s requests for me to slow down. Paradoxically, being so focused on my goal that I ignored the signs of imbalance deprived me of the ability to achieve my goal.

I imagine that the average reader of this blog is seeking life balance strategies because they have a tendency to do too much versus too little. I envision people who are possibly over-achievers or Type-A personalities (in other words, people like me). The external world rewards us for achievement, so it is easy to lose sight of the need to slow down from time to time to tune in, take stock, and adjust where necessary.

Unfortunately, I think we can easily become like the proverbial frog in a pot of boiling water – we don’t realize how off-kilter we have become until things reach a boiling-over point. Any time we take on too many responsibilities or activities we risk spreading our energy too thinly, which has the potential to lead to physical, cognitive, emotional, social, and behavioral consequences. Getting sick, feeling run down, and experiencing recurring muscular tightness or headaches are often your body’s way of trying to get your attention. Mental signs of imbalance may include being forgetful, or having a hard time disengaging from certain thought patterns (e.g., worrying, list-making). Emotional signs might include feeling irritable, anxious, or blue. Or maybe you find yourself wanting to retreat from family and friends, or being uncharacteristically being snappish, argumentative, or grumpy. Other people find that they eat or drink too much and stop carving out time for healthy activities like exercise or meditation. Self-awareness allows us to appreciate the subtle signs that we need to adjust before getting “out of whack.”

Once I tuned in (ok, so I had to be hit over the head with it), I realized I would need to focus on self-care for a while to set things to right – to let the pendulum swing far in the opposite direction in order to get back to a healthy state of equilibrium. I got a massage and spent my time going on slow walks with my family instead of waking up before dawn to run. I talked about my experience with friends. In the end, I was grateful for the experience, because it reminded me how wise my body is – how powerful it can be when I listen to it and treat it kindly. I was also reminded that although it is satisfying to set and achieve a goal, sometimes life intervenes to foil the best laid plans (or training schedules), and it isn’t the end of the world. The most important part of the race was seeing my family there to meet me at the finish line.

Mixed Berry Cobbler

Photo by kangotraveler

What can be better than a healthy version of a delicious berry cobbler? Here is a great recipe. Try it and enjoy with a scoop of frozen yogurt or organic vanilla icecream.

Ingredients:

6 cups of frozen or fresh mixed berries (e.g., blackberries and strawberries)

4 cups of oats

1/2 cup or less of soften butter or coconut oil

1,5 cups of brown sugar

1 cup of toasted silvered almonds

3 tablespoons of cornstarch mixed with 3 tablespoons of water to form slurry.

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.


• Place the berries and sugar in a medium size pot on the stove over medium low heat. Cook the berries and 1 cup of sugar until the sugar is dissolved and the berries have started to get soft.


• Add 2 cups of oats and continue to cook the berries.


• Once the oats are soft, add the cornstarch slurry and stir until incorporated.


• Remove from the heat and pour into a 9x13 glass casserole sprayed with pan spray.


• In a separate bowl mix together the remaining 2 cups of oats, 1 cup of almonds, 1/2 of a cup of brown sugar and the butter or coconut oil- this should form a crumbly crust


• Sprinkle the crust over the berries evenly.


• Bake for 10-15 minutes until the curst is just a little crispy and the cobbler is warmed all the way through.

Enjoy your weekend!

Balance During Times of Illness

Photo by Josh T. Hudson

I have been absent from :simple:balance: for the past few weeks while I have dealt with some health issues. Luckily, the blog has gone on without me, thanks to Maggie and some wonderful guest writers, whom we can all count on for thought-provoking posts and ideas for finding balance in many arenas of our lives. I have been reading, myself, and trying to apply some of what I've learned.

I have also done a lot of thinking about how to find balance during times of illness - this concept has been on my mind in recent weeks as I've struggled myself to accomplish all I need to, but also take care of myself. And I've noticed folks around me with similar challenges during this time of allergies and other seasonal illnesses. I was reminded of this post, originally published on October, 22 2009, that highlights some of the most important things to take into account. I thought it was prudent to re-consider these ideas, and to open up discussion to you all again for further insights. Here's to good health!

In theory, if we follow healthy recommendations for hand-washing, good nutrition, and other ways of avoiding germs, we should be illness-free this season. But we all know that the inevitable happens, and the chances are that most of us will end up feeling under the weather (or being impacted by someone else who does) at some point this year.

Being sick puts a wrench in the juggle of life and work and really makes finding balance even more difficult. Not only do we feel badly, but we also can’t keep pace with our usual, finely tuned schedule. Responsibilities pile up, phone calls and emails remain unanswered, and the stock of canned soup in the pantry disappears. Or perhaps we aren’t the ones who are sick, but rather someone close to us (e.g., child, partner, friend) or someone we are dependent on (e.g., child caretaker, co-worker) is. Any of the above scenarios can wreak havoc on balance, so it is vital to have a game-plan with some ideas for how to handle an illness scenario. Here are some suggestions:

1. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Sure, we can never be completely ready for illness when it strikes, but if we do some preparation and thinking beforehand, we might feel more able to cope when it comes. (There will be things like chronic illness or catastrophic injuries that are life-changing and are impossible to predict, but here we are talking more about run-of-the-mill fevers and flus.) Think about and plan for the following:

:: If you have children, how will your childcare be impacted by illness in the family? If you are sick, how will they get to school? How will they be cared for while you are bed-ridden? If they are sick, who will stay home with them? How will they get to the doctor? If someone is contagious, how will you try to prevent the spread of germs at home? If your childcare provider is sick, do you have a back-up?

:: Do you have supplies on-hand for illness? Medications, food, drinks, and other supplies are very important during times of illness, and not having them readily available can be a problem. The last thing you want in the middle of the night is to realize your thermometer isn’t working while you have a feverish, crying baby! Take stock of what you have, throw out anything that is expired or not working properly, and re-stock. Keep some comfort items around, as well – special teas, heating pads, a good magazine, and the like can make a day in bed a bit less miserable.

:: How will you notify your job if you have to be out because of illness (your own or a loved one’s), and how will your duties be covered? It is always helpful to have a contingency plan for this sort of thing. Keep telephone numbers or email addresses with you that you can use to contact your boss or someone else at work. Have a general plan for how your duties will be covered, recognizing that every scenario won’t be predictable.

2. Organize yourself. As mentioned above, keeping supplies on-hand at home and contact information for anyone who would be impacted by illness is important. Have this information stored somewhere that is easily accessible (e.g., address book, cell phone), and notify another reliable adult in your life of where it is, in case they need to access it if you are not able to.

3. Know how your sick leave (or lack thereof) works at your job. While laying in bed with a fever and stomach ache is not the time to talk with your human resources department about your benefits. Understand what you need to do administratively if you have a sick family member that you are caring for. Know how you should request time off for unexpected illnesses. Similarly to preparing for responsibility coverage at your job, having an understanding of how your time off is managed is helpful to know ahead of time.

4. Stay home if you are sick! We have all heard this before, and most of us have probably shown up at the office anyway. I know I have. The truth is (I can now say retrospectively) that we are NOT productive when we are sick. Yes, we may be able to make a few phone calls or send some emails that will get things done… but in the process we are potentially making ourselves worse, and we are certainly spreading germs to others. Other people around you do NOT want you to be at work when you are sick. Sometimes , folks around us are more susceptible to illness or have conditions that they have not publicly shared. So while you think you are just carrying around a cold, realize that your illness could be life-threatening to someone else. Keep your germs to yourself and avoid spreading them!

5. Ditto #4 for your kids and other loved ones. Don’t let children go to school sick and encourage a spouse or friend to stay at home. Even if it means more stress for you temporarily.

6. Listen to your body and rest. I can’t tell you how often I have gotten sick after a particularly stressful time in my life; my body was definitely communicating with me in those situations. When our lives are out of balance, we suffer emotionally and physically, and our immune systems are compromised. We have talked before about ways to prevent that from happening, but when it does, take note and give your body what it needs: rest. You will heal faster and be able to get back to your juggle sooner and more effectively if you actually take the time to relax.

This list of suggestions is certainly not exhaustive. We are interested in hearing from you too. What helps you to maintain balance while coping with illness?

Photo by jeffreyw

Celebrate the temporary - don’t wait until tomorrow.
Live today. Don’t wait until all the problems are solved.
You will wait forever.
Eternity will come and go and you will still be waiting.
Stop grieving the past. There is joy and beauty in today.
It is temporary - here now and gone - so celebrate it while you can.
Celebrate the temporary.

~Clyde Reid

We are thrilled to have Sue Knight back with us. Enjoy the wisdom of the moment that she wrote about!

At lunch last week, my colleagues asked why I like volunteering for Hospice. They got me thinking about springtime, lifetime, and how “the temporary” keeps me in balance.
I cherish taking walks in the springtime. Spring changes more rapidly than winter. In winter, the tree branches stand stark against the sky; beautiful, yes, but pretty much the same from day to day. Spring is different – the first colors peek out early, and they don’t last. The flowering seems to go from nothing to spectacular to gone in the blink of an eye. The leaves aren’t there, and then they are, tiny and chartreuse; and then almost overnight they’re thick and dark green. It’s easier to pay attention in the spring; and not just because new delights are arriving daily. It’s also because they won’t last.

I cherish too volunteering for hospice, which involves spending time with families in the last six months of a member’s life. While supporting their quality of life is my priority, I always gain much more than I give. Those who know their time in life is short pay better attention. They have a razor-sharp sense of what matters, and what doesn’t. Sometimes patients want to talk about these things; other times the lessons come from sitting quietly with them, helping their caregivers, or playing a game of Backgammon and knowing it may be their last. Of course, there is sadness when someone I’ve come to know and care about is gone; but that only strengthens my gratitude for having had the opportunity to share such special moments with them. I’ve developed a ritual whenever I leave a patient’s home: Gazing toward the sky, I drink in everything in sight, and realize how awesome – and temporary – this lifetime is.

So, springtime walks and hospice volunteering remind me of the temporariness, and sweetness, of life. Here are some other ways. Focus on:

• Your breath. Even a minute of focus can bring your attention to the air entering and leaving your body. Try this: Observe your breath without attempting to alter it while silently saying “in” with each in-breath, “out” with each out-breath. Notice the creative pause between in and out; it’s the continual ending and new beginning for all of us.
  This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24


• Making the most of your vacation from eternity. No matter what their specific beliefs, most people agree that the hereafter is probably very different from this human existence. So……why not consider life as a brief vacation from that bigger picture, and enjoy it to the fullest?
  
• One sense at a time. This is the opposite of multi-tasking! As you go about your day, alternate awareness of sight, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting. For example, while changing the sheets, begin by focusing just on what you see – the bed, the room, the linens, your own arms in motion. Then, move your attention to touch - the sensation of the cloth between your fingers, your feet on the floor. Next, attend to what you hear – the rustle of the bedclothes, the birds outside, music, the fan. Focus completely on each temporary moment, one sense at a time.


• Colors and dimensions (Be as one suddenly born into color. Do it now. ~Rumi) Pretend your world unexpectedly includes color or a third dimension. Watching a black-and-white movie or removing your glasses during a 3-D movie can help you experience the world in a new way when you come outside.

New ideas help us all keep celebrating the temporary, and that helps us keep a balanced life. What celebration strategies can you share?

Get in Synch!

Photo by Noel Zia Lee

We are so happy to welcome back Aundrea Tucker, who is a Holistic Health Counselor. Spring is a great time to get back in touch with nature and its rhythms. Learn about how alignment with natural rhythms can bring more balance into your life. The suggestions shared by Aundrea are very consistent with the wisdom of Ayurveda (5,000 year old healing system from India) that we periodically share on our blog. Enjoy the spring!

Nature thrives on cycles based on its own internal rhythms, such as the annual cycle of the seasons and the harvests. When we observe nature, we find that the same cycles we see in the seasons appear in microcosm in the course of a single day. The more closely we can align our own circadian rhythms with the natural flow of the daily cycle, the more we will feel as if we are floating downstream instead of swimming upstream.

Spring: 6:00am – 10:00am - Muscles get stronger
Summer: 10:00am – 2:00pm - Digestion stronger
Winter: 2:00pm – 6:00pm - Nervous system activates
Spring: 6:00pm – 10:00pm - Metabolism lowers for sleep
Summer: 10:00pm – 2:00am - Liver is activated for cleansing
Winter: 2:00am – 6:00am - Cortisol levels increase

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

How would you feel if you went to bed at midnight and woke up at 10:00am? Perhaps groggy, stiff or dull. What about if you went to bed at 8:00pm and woke up at 6:00am? Probably chipper! In both instances you would have slept the same amount – 10 hours – and the only difference is when you went to bed and when you woke up. The same principle applies not only for sleeping, but eating as well. When we follow nature’s rhythms, we invariably end up merrily rowing downstream. Muscles are also strongest in the morning, and it is the best time for vigorous exercise.

The Noon Meal

The hottest part of the day, when the sun is climbing to its zenith, is the summer time of the day and when the digestive fires are at their hottest. This is the ideal time to consume a meal large enough to provide fuel for the rest of the day. Try resting on your left side for 5-10 minutes after your meal to facilitate digestion.

Afternoon Brain Waves

In the four-hour period that follows lunch, the body is primed for heavy mental activity. The brain uses about 80 percent of the body’s glycogen, or energy supplies, during this time. If you ate too little at lunch, or at while driving, rushed or distracted, you may feel sleepy, listless or crave emergency fuel.

Sunset

After the sun sets, digestion and cortisol levels go down, making it difficult to digest a large dinner. A smaller, supplemental (“supper”) meal is ideal around 6:00pm. If you are unable to exercise in the morning, the second best time to workout is after your supplemental meal at 6:00pm. Toward 10:00pm, the body begins to rest and relax as it gears down for sleep.

Night Crawlers

If you observe yourself for a few nights between 7:00 and 9:00pm, you will probably notice a pleasant drowsiness come over you. If you force yourself to stay up, you may get a burst of energy after 10:00pm that will keep you up into the wee hours. The purpose of increased metabolic activity during this time is to clean blood and repair damaged tissue. If you are awake, changing the world and having midnight snacks, you miss out on this crucial internal cleansing time. Internal cleansing can also be affected if your body is still trying to digest a large evening meal; resources slated for cleansing have to be diverted to digestion.

Spiritual

The very early morning between 2:00 and 6:00am is believed to be most conducive to prayer and meditation in many spiritual traditions, both Eastern and Western. A lightness and quickness characterizes this time; when you arise around 6:00am, you are likely to take on those characteristics, which will balance out the natural heaviness of morning.

Let us know if you experience any of the benefits of being in synch with the nature!

Balancing Time in Our Minds

Photo by mrMark

Dana, who holds responsibilities and benefits of being a mother, a wife, an empoyee and many more roles, is back with us to share some wisdom around our perceptions of time and its role in our perceptions of balance. Enjoy!

Since I started writing for this blog more regularly, I have become even more attuned to life balance issues. I find myself contemplating more deeply certain ideas that are intrinsically related to the concept of balance, such as the nature of time and the mind. Much of what we experience with regard to balance (or imbalance) hinges on the concept of time – what we do with it, having “enough” time, and so on. Just as in an outward, behavioral sense we can be out of balance in how we use the time allotted to us (spending too much time doing things we shouldn’t do or don’t want to do and too little time doing things we should do or do want to do), we can misuse time in our minds as well.

It is a unique quality of the human mind that we can effortlessly think about the past, present, and future. Some of us spend a lot of time thinking about the past – reliving moments we enjoyed, rehashing negative experiences in the attempt to make sense of them or in futile hope that we can mentally undo them. Others of us spend a lot of time thinking about the future – making plans, anticipating upcoming events with eagerness or dread. Yet others really live in the moment, relishing the experience of the here and now or avoiding thinking about the past or future.

As with most things, being balanced between the past, present, and future is key to success and happiness in life. Thinking about the past can not only be pleasant (in the case of fond memories), it is an important method for uncovering patterns in our behavior over time. We can use the greater self-awareness this affords to change our behavior in the present and future. It is also possible, however, to be too nostalgic of the past at the expense of truly experiencing the present or preparing for the future. And while it is healthy to conduct “post mortems” on things that went wrong, going over them again and again in our minds without achieving peace or closure on them can be psychologically harmful.

Likewise, while our ability to envision and plan for the future is a necessary and important for us to survive and thrive, if we spend more mental time in the future than the present, we risk losing the teachings of the past and the blessings of the present. Chronic over-achievers and Type-A personalities, people who try to “do it all,” are rewarded with spending a great deal of time planning for the future and setting goals, but this can come at a price.

Lastly, it is possible to spend too much time focused on the here and now if it leads us to fail to capture “lessons learned” from our past experiences or adequately prepare for the future. We can become like the grasshopper of The Ant and the Grasshopper fable – idly enjoying the pleasantness of the moment without preparing for the challenges the future will bring.

The vast majority of us, however, probably spend too little time truly in the current moment. When we are only half attending to what we are doing in the moment because we are busily thinking about what we will do next or what we did the day before, we are operating on autopilot – in other words, not really there. When we school ourselves to really drop in and “be here now,” our experience of life is so much more vibrant and rich. Having our minds focused on one place in time at once helps us respond to life’s moments with awareness and grace. It is also a gift we give to ourselves and the people we spend our time with to be fully present.

One valuable tool for keeping yourself in the present is to focus on your physical experience. As the saying goes, “There is no time but the present.” Our experiences of the past and future are purely mental – we aren’t literally IN the past or future like we are in the present. Taking the time throughout the day to really feel what it feels like to be in your body, in your environment, in that moment can keep us grounded and engaged. Literally stop and smell the roses on your walk from your office to your car; focus on enjoying the taste and textures of your meal instead of wolfing down your food while multi-tasking; get down on the floor with a child or pet and look in their eyes and touch their hair; mentally scan your body from top to bottom – what does it feel like to you be you right now?

Where do you tend to spend the most of your “mental time”? Why? What are the consequences? What can you personally do to achieve balance on this dimension?

Stress-Free Moving

We are getting ready to move into a house. Sounds very exciting, right? It is! But with the excitement comes the stress of packing, unpacking, finding movers, paying for movers, and the list goes on and on. I guess the title should have been “How to make moving a less stressful experience?” so we can enjoy and welcome this change into our lives. Of course, research shows that we need a little bit of stress (u-stress) to get us going and motivated, too much however, will actually hinder our performance. Here are a few things that I am implementing into my life to help with this exciting transition and keep myself from getting too ‘excited’:

• To do lists are so helpful these days. We put one on the fridge, so both my husband and I can see what we need to do in the next few weeks. Start it as soon as your offer got accepted on a house.


• Pack one box at a time. The idea of packing all at once was too overwhelming for me, especially since I travel a lot. I took a risk (possibility that we don’t close) and started quite soon after our offer was accepted. I would only pack one box a night. It would give me a sense that I have accomplished something that night, yet I could still focus on my regular activities.


• Use packing as an opportunity to do some spring cleaning. This feels very energizing and exciting for me. I started a donation pile, recycled a lot of old magazines, coupons, papers, expired drugs. It feels freeing not to be moving all that with us.


• If you want to sell some items, don’t forget to use internet (Ebay, Craig’s list) in addition to or instead of the traditional yard sale. I was able to sell all my curtains that I cannot use in the house on ebay. I think I did get rid of them a little too early, because one of the rooms has been having a beautiful echo (due to emptiness) for a few weeks now.


• Use moving opportunity to bring something new into your life. It can be anything from a new organization of your space to switching to more eco-friendly living. One of my obsessions has been trying to get rid of as much plastic as possible in my kitchen (especially). So, I have been looking for ways to get rid of plastic tupperware and substituting at least some pieces to glass ones.


• Keep yourself energized by activities that bring you pleasure about the new place of living. For example, we walked to our new house a few times a week and tried to experience what it would be like to live there. We thought about ideas for improving the backyard. Finally, we went to a bookstore one night and browsed a few books for decoration ideas.


• Take it slow. Once you do get a lot of energizing ideas, you may feel an urge to change everything at once, which is a recipe for disaster and may be quite costly. Instead, enjoy the beauty of doing things slowly and seeing your place evolving over time. My goal is to take some time to choose things for our home. It will save us money and I will be able to get to know the personality of my house or even contribute to it.


• Elicit the help of others. It is amazing how much more fun and faster packing, unpacking, painting goes if you have your friends/family around you. Some pizza and drink will all you need to have a moving party.

Did I miss anything? If so, please share, because I can definitely benefit from some suggestions.

Creole Flavored Black Bean Burger

photo by alt10trader's

I am always searching for some easy yet delicious vegetarian recipes. This weekend I tried a delicious Black Bean Burger and the chef shared a recipe that I would love you to try. Serve this burger with a green salad and a side of sweet mashed or roasted potatoes (you will be delighted by the rainbow of colors on your plate). Enjoy!

Yields 6 to 8 burgers

2-15 oz cans of black beans drained

1/2 onin diced

1/2 red pepper diced

1/4 tsp Braggs amino acid; Tamari or Soy Sauce

1 tbsp of cilantro chopped

1/4 cup of bread crumbs

Dash of hot sauce

2 tsp of Creole or cajun seasonings

3 cloves of garlic minced

Salt and Pepper to taste

Mash beans together in a large bowl, add all other ingredients and mix weel, from into patties and saute over medium heat for about 3 minutes per side or until warm or spray gril with cooking spray and gril until warm through turning often.

1 patty - Calories 285; total fat 1g, saturated fat 0 g, cholesterol 12 mg, sodium 214 mg, carbohydrates 32 g, dietary fiber 6g, protein 7 g

De-Cluttering

Photo by Thrift Store Addict

When I was thinking about my new year’s resolutions this year, I did some reading on-line, and came across a lot of people who had identified de-cluttering as a goal. Simplicity, orderliness, and less stuff are getting more and more attention these days and are being heralded as important for success and happiness. When I started thinking about how this whole idea is related to my balance of life roles, it became clear that de-cluttering is probably a healthy goal for me, as well.

For the sake of full disclosure, I should note that I come by de-cluttering pretty naturally. My mom is the type of person who lives by the mantra, “If you haven’t used it in 6 months, you don’t need it.” I can remember my dad turning the house upside down in search of some item that he hadn’t used in several years, but discovered that he needed just then. Nine times out of ten, mom had tossed it. So whether it is a nature or nurture influence, growing up in a clutter-free home probably makes that feel more comfortable to me now.

Piles of stuff and general clutter at home or in my office make my skin crawl. I find that I cannot be productive if my surroundings aren’t at least somewhat organized. If I can’t find stuff, I won’t get anything accomplished. Now, that certainly does not mean that I am always de-cluttered. Take a look at my home office desk right now and you’ll see a pile of papers that desperately needs sorting. The same goes for the pile of clean laundry sitting in my bedroom. Life happens and clutter grows. But taking a few extra minutes here and there to keep most of it at bay is sometimes the difference between productivity and lost energy for me; between balance and imbalance.

There are a few things that I have learned through personal experience or from organizational experts over the years that have helped me to de-clutter things in my life. These tips may be helpful to you, too:

1. Every thing has a place. If you own something that doesn’t have a place that it belongs, then perhaps you don’t need it. If you have a place for it, keep it there. After you finish using it, immediately put it back. If you put it down with plans to put it away later, it likely won’t happen.

2. Sort through mail and other paperwork as soon as they come in your house. Designate a time and place to do this where you can immediately recycle the junk mail, file the bills to be paid, and put away any other important paperwork. Keep folders or boxes for things like children’s schoolwork that you want to keep, and a to-do file for things like bills that need to be addressed soon, but not necessarily right now.

3. Finish a task before starting another one. This is where a lot of my clutter builds up. I start some laundry, and in the midst of putting it away, get distracted and start working on an art project with my child. The laundry is still out, and now so are the art supplies. Take a couple of minutes to finish what you’re doing to keep clutter from even starting.

4. De-clutter your email. I am a minimalist when it comes to email, both professionally and personally. When I am going through my inbox, every message gets action when I read it. I either address it immediately (respond to the sender or complete a task), put it in a short-term to-do file (for later that day or week), put it in a long-term to-do file (to be addressed in a week or longer), or delete it. If I don’t have time to address it in one of these ways right then, I don’t open it.

5. Do a sweep once a day. Pick a time each day that you have 3-5 minutes to sweep through your house (or office). Take that time to put away those things that aren’t in their place, sort through paperwork, or complete a task. This is not the time to do major organizing, but rather to do a clean sweep so things look less cluttered and more inviting.

Being able to balance my various roles requires some pretty detailed organization most days. Having a lot of clutter around me costs precious time that I just don’t have. I’d much rather spend any extra time I have in quality interaction with my family or friends, not in de-cluttering.

What are your thoughts about clutter? What tips to you have to keep it at bay and maintain balance?

Fantasies

photo by rankun76

We are very excited to welcome Dana, a working mother, wife, and an industrial-organizational psychologist, back to our blog. Dana agreed to participate in the blog on monthly basis. All of us will get a chance to learn from sincere and very practical insights Dana shares based on her path of finding a balance in her life.

The past year and a half I have taken a crash-course in balance. Through trial and error (mostly error), I have unearthed some implicit beliefs that were preventing me from finding a happy balance in my life. Two such “fantasies” reared their ugly heads at me most recently.
Since finishing grad school nearly seven years ago, I have worked as an independent contractor for a management consulting company. I have always had the benefit of being a telecommuter (a fancy word meaning “one who works in pajamas”), except for when I traveled for business. In addition to having a flexible job location, the autonomy afforded by being self-employed also gave me some flexibility in terms of when I did my work. When I became pregnant, I became even more grateful for my work situation.

After my son was born, I continued to work from home (minus the travel) and reduced my hours to part time. Having never had a child before, I thought since I was “only” working part-time with such a flexible arrangement, it would be a breeze to fit in 20 hours a week while also being a full-time mother. It would be more economical, certainly – and as a first time mom and with no family nearby, I couldn’t imagine handing him over to a stranger. And, of course, there was supermom syndrome: I thought I should be able to do it all.

So, for the first sixteen months of my son’s life, I juggled work and motherhood without the help of family or even a sitter. I worked when he napped (poorly), I worked when he went to sleep (intermittently) for the night, and I worked on the weekends when my husband could take over (which, I should add, he wasn’t able to do for the first year, because on nights and weekends he was working on completing his dissertation). A more experienced parent sees the punch line already: very quickly I became burnt out. I was chronically sleep-deprived, my marriage was being woefully neglected, and I was overwhelmed with everything I felt I had to do (and do well).

This brings me to the first fantasy that prevents many of us from achieving balance: that we can do it all. That we should be able to do it all. That we shouldn’t need help. Overcoming this fallacy is incredibly difficult, but breaking free of it is liberating. Asking for help allows you to accept that you are human. Although the imperative to “do it all” came from only one place – within me – I also resented feeling like I had to do it all, and turned that resentment on other people. When I was able to let go of the need to be omnipotent, I was also able to let go of a lot of resentment.

So, finally accepting that I needed help, I hired a sitter to come to my house several mornings a week, thereby giving myself 15 hours of protected work time, which would theoretically allow me to avoid working nights and weekends. I was absolutely giddy with the thought of it – I felt like all of the things that threatened to overwhelm me were about to just melt away. I thought this would somehow “make it all better.” Not surprisingly, it didn’t – it just changed things. To be sure, in some ways things changed for the better – for example, my husband and son and I get to spend more time together on the weekends and I regularly get seven hours of sleep. But other challenges cropped up: whereas before I took care of errands, chores, and cleaning and the like with my son in tow, now I needed to find the time to get them done when I wasn’t working…like on nights and weekends.

Which brings me to the second fantasy preventing us from finding balance: that time is something we can make more of. Avoiding for the moment the philosophical argument about the nature of time and whether it is a mental construction or a “real thing,” the important thing to realize about time is that you cannot make more of it. It is impossible. We can only use the time we DO have in the best way possible. What the best way is depends on us – on our passions, strengths, or priorities. As I thought about this, I realized there are three ways to go about making the most of your time:

• Doing less – what do you not like doing? What do you do that doesn’t help you achieve anything important to you? Spending time cleaning her house soothes my sister – but for me, it is just an irritating fact of life. This is definitely an activity that doesn’t further any of my big-picture life goals! So I started looking into hiring a cleaning service. Delegation is a way of doing less – especially if you have already overcome the first fallacy and are ready to ask for help.


• Doing more – what do you like doing but don’t dedicate enough time to? What activities will help you achieve your big-picture goals if you devoted more time to them? I decided to use the time I would otherwise spend cleaning on things that satisfy my soul and make me happier and healthier, like reading and cooking really good meals, and I’m going to accept my husband’s offers of help and go for long runs on the weekends. These activities give me greater enthusiasm and energy, which helps me be positive and productive overall.


• Being strategic – what do you have to do that you could do more efficiently or effectively? I plan a weekly menu and go grocery shopping every Sunday, which not only saves time and money, it also helps ensure we eat well. I even try to be strategic in setting up for the morning and doing laundry – little ways of being organized minimize frustration and chaos.

The past two months have taught me that I can’t do it all – and that it is silly to even try. I am striving to be more willing to accept help, so that I can focus on what is important and meaningful to me, and to be more thoughtful about where I put my energy.

What are some underlying beliefs you hold that prevent you from feeling balanced? Are you able to readily accept help when necessary? Are there things that you could do less, more often, or more strategically?

Delicious Raspberry Thumbprints: Healtier Version

photo by lepiaf.geo

What can be better than a batch of delicious cookies on a cold snow day? I would say the only thing that can make cookies better if they are a little healthier. Often, I take the recipe and modify it to make it healthier yet still extremely pleasing. Here you go:

Dough:

1,5 cups of whole-wheat flour

1/2 cup of organic butter or earth balance vegetable margarine, softened

1/4 cup of turbinado sugar

1/2 egg yolk

2 tablespoons of orange juice

Preparation:

1. Into large bowl, measure flour, butter, sugar, orange juice and egg yolk. With mixer at medium speed, beat ingreadients until well mixed, occasionally scraping bowl with rubber spatula. Cover and refrigerate about 1 hour.

2. Preheat oven to 375 F.

3. Shape rounded teaspoonful of dough into balls. Place 1 inch apart on cookie sheets.

4. Press thumb into centers of cookies, making deep indentations.

5. Bake 10 minutes.

6. Remove from oven and with 1/2 cup organic or lower sugar raspberry (apricot or strawberry) preserves fill indentations.

7. Bake 5 minutes more; immediately remove and cool cookies on racks.

Makes approximately 50 cookies.

Enjoy with a cup of hot tea!

More Efficient Grocery Shopping

Photo by J-P-F

An important part of the juggle for anyone with multiple roles is food. Meal-planning, budgeting, and cooking take up considerable amounts of time and energy, and have significant influence on how we balance other things in our lives. Here on :simple:balance:, we have talked about some of the reasons why nutrition is so important, and also more logistically about the benefits of being organized and prepared with meals. One aspect of food that we have not touched on and that I sometimes find myself dreading is grocery shopping.

When I am running into the supermarket to pick up something quickly, it is inevitable that I will have difficulty finding what I need or that I will get caught up in a slow check-out line. When I am in a rush already, these experiences just irritate me more and make the whole event something that I dread the next time I have to go. Over the years, I have discovered a few tips that make the trip to the grocery store more pleasant and more efficient. Here are some of my ideas:

1. Always, always start with a list. Not only will this save you time, but it will also save you money. Keep a list of the items that are “usual” buys for you – things that you need and use week to week. When you use the last of an item from your pantry or refrigerator, put a check mark next to that item on the list, letting you know that you will need to buy this at the market the next time you go. Someone once suggested to me that I organize this list so that the items on the same aisles in my grocery store are grouped together on the list. This has been a huge time-saver for me! I do much less back-and-forth in the store and am able to go through my list in the same order that I go through the store. It has shortened my shopping trips by at least half. (Another tip I have found helpful: put refrigerated items at the end of the list so you get them last. You won’t have melted ice cream nearly as often this way!)

2. Limit your shopping to once a week, at the most. I used to run to the store several times per week to buy items for a meal here and there. This was a huge waste of time… and gas! Now, I plan out meals for at least a week and buy items once that will last throughout those days. I know some people who shop every other week or every month, which saves even more time, but I personally buy a lot of fresh produce; I typically need to replenish that weekly, so this schedule works for me. It is amazing how relaxed it feels to know you have what you need at home and don’t have to make a trip to the store after a long day at work.

3. Choose one or two stores to do most of your shopping at. I used to pick up items at multiple stores, either because someone was having a sale, or I knew that a favorite food was only available at one place. While I still do this at times, I try to limit my shopping to one or two places regularly. I am a huge fan of local farmers’ markets and co-ops, and when available, will do as much of my shopping at these places as I can. But I won’t try to chase down a bargain a the local pharmacy, then jump across town to pick up produce, and then move to the grocery store for the rest of my items. I save time, gas, and money by limiting where I go.

4. Don’t go shopping when you are hungry… or tired, or emotionally drained. We all have heard the recommendation to shop for food when you are satiated, so that you don’t needlessly buy things you don’t need just because your stomach is rumbling. This same suggestion fits for any other type of situation in which you don’t feel well or are just plain exhausted. The shopping trips I make after work are usually my most dreaded. I am tired, hungry, and usually just want to get home and cook something, rather than fight my way through a store to find what I need. I have started shopping either on the weekends when I have a little more time, or during my lunch break at work. (I keep a small cooler in my car for these trips so that my food stays fresh until I get home later that evening). Approaching a task like grocery shopping requires me to be my best, which I am not when I am overly tired or hungry.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t always loathe shopping for food. Quite the opposite is true, actually. I often enjoy perusing the aisles at a favorite market and finding new ingredients that I haven’t tried before or searching for ideas for new recipes. When I don’t have much time, which is usually the case during the work week, shopping is not something that I do for enjoyment, though. The suggestions provided above can be used whether you are in a rush or during those times when your shopping trip is more of an excursion. Even when I’m shopping for enjoyment, though, I don’t like to waste time. So I use the techniques above to make the experience more efficient, allowing for more time to enjoy the process, or to get home to start cooking.

Either way, the key is pleasure! Food is meant to be savored, explored, and enjoyed. If obtaining the food is a miserable process, we will be less likely to do it and, therefore, less likely to partake in healthy, fulfilling meals. So keep it simple, keep it balanced, and enjoy the process. What tips do you have for keeping your grocery shopping efficient?

Scent and Music Can Bring More Balance Into Your Life

Photo by Dennis Wong

Sometimes when I feel stressed or out of balance, I think I need to do something major. Although, I would love to take a few weeks off my work and family responsibilities, it is not always possible. I have realized that I benefit tremendously from some little things I can do along the way to help myself unwind and reduce some of the pressure that I have accumulated. Along with my practice of meditation and yoga, I find that something as simple as a pleasant smell or a relaxing music can reduce stress, elevate mood, energize us and even help us sleep better. There is a lot of research that is being done on the effects of aromas and music on reducing or eliminating many medical conditions. Do you find that music and aromas help you to feel more balanced? Here are few suggestions that work for me:

• Notice what time of the day or what days of the week you get the most stressed out and tense and introduce either a relaxing aroma or music during that time. For example, on my way from work, I unwind by listening to my favorite CD and even singing along. I noticed that by the time I get home, I am much more relaxed and ready for the family part of the human experience.


• If you have a lot on your mind and have a hard time falling asleep, try inducing your favorite scent in your bedroom. For example, I love sandalwood incents or you can buy a little oil burner and find the essential oil that relaxes you most. Of course, simple candles work very well too. Interestingly, if you find a scent that really works for you, you will be able to condition your mind-body to relax as soon as the smell is on. For example, if lavender is relaxing and you used it to relax or meditate, next time you smell lavender in a different environment, it will quickly induce the relaxation state for your mind and body.


• Don’t forget, you can perform a self-massage with your favorite oil. To save money, I use organic sesame oil (not toasted) with a few drops of lavender. You can even warm it up by putting it in hot water. And no, you are not going to feel too oily. It is extremely nourishing and moisturizing for your skin especially during dry winter months. If you are still worried about feeling too oily, perform an oil massage before the bath in the evening or a shower in the morning. Finally, if you don’t have time, massage your feet and your head with a little bit of oil. I do it before I go to bed and feel that I sleep much better when it is done.


• Put together a relaxing music mix that you can take with you on your trips, walks or just listen at home. I have to travel a lot for work, so I downloaded a great iPhone application has everything from mini-meditations to music therapy that make me feel more at ease when I am on the road.


• Instead of watching a lot of TV at night, listen to a relaxing music, enjoy a relaxing scent in your room and read something pleasant. You will be amazed at how well you sleep and how great you feel the next day.

Are you ready to have a little music therapy session? Take a deep inhale, exhale, close your eyes and listen to the sound of the rain and have your worries wash away.

Looking for a cool aromatherapy gift for your significant other? Check out how you can enjoy the pleasant smells as you work on your computer.

An Exercise in Thinking

Photo by INoxKrow

Psychologists and other mental health professionals will tell you that the way we feel and behave is intimately tied to the way we think. We often focus on the events or experiences of our lives as being instrumental in influencing our feelings and actions, but it is really our perception of those events that matters most. Let’s look at an example:

Event: Mary is due for a raise at work and is notified that she will not be getting one this year.
Thoughts: “I deserve this raise”; “If I had done [x,y,z], I would have gotten this raise”; “My boss does not like me”; “I am not going to be able to pay my bills”; “I am worthless”
Feelings: Anger, Anxiety, Sadness
Behaviors: Skip work the next day; Consider quitting her job; Approach her boss aggressively and ask why she did not get the raise; Isolate from co-workers and friends

This may be a common scenario, especially in this economy when many people and businesses are struggling financially. So let’s consider how Donna, another employee at the same company has responded to the same situation:

Event: Donna is due for a raise at work and is notified that she will not be getting one this year.
Thoughts: “My not getting a raise is not because I don’t deserve one, but because the company cannot afford it this year”; “I am just grateful that I still have a job”; “I will be able to adjust my budget in order to continue making my bill payments”; “I am worthy”
Feelings: Frustration, Relief, Calm
Behaviors: Approach her boss calmly and ask if there is anything she can do to help the company so that raises will be an option next year; Continue working diligently; Re-work her personal budget to meet her needs; Stay connected with co-workers and friends and seek support

Can you see the distinct difference between these two outcomes? It involves the same initial situation, but the women’s responses, both emotionally and behaviorally, are starkly different. And the reason for that is likely their perceptions of the situation, or the way they are thinking about it. Yes, Donna still feels frustrated, understandably, but because she thinks realistically about her situation, she is also able to feel some relief and behave accordingly.

It is common for us to have automatic responses to events, either positive or negative, without recognizing how our thoughts are influencing us. Therapists use cognitive therapy to help people evaluate their thoughts in certain situations, and challenge them when necessary, in order to have a more positive outcome. As we can see in our example above, Mary’s response to not getting a raise is likely going to continue making her feel badly, as well as potentially influence her to do something that will hurt her career and future. On the other hand, Donna’s approach is more positive, more realistic, and will likely lead her to further success. Imagine if you are these women’s boss; in a tough economy, which of these women are you going to be more likely to keep on staff and reward when you are able?

We are all faced with difficult situations, whether they are related to finances, relationships, jobs, and much more. While it is natural to have negative emotions and behaviors sometimes, it can be helpful to stay mindful of how our thoughts are affecting us. If what we are thinking isn’t realistic or helpful, those thoughts will quickly take us down a path that we don’t want to be.

Try this exercise this week: When you have a strong emotional response to something that happens (good or bad), take a minute and ask yourself a few questions:

- What does this situation mean to me?
- What is going through my mind?
- What am I thinking or remembering right now?
- What am I imagining might happen in this situation?

Take your answers to those questions and start to identify what your thoughts are. Then evaluate how realistic or healthy they are for you, and make changes when appropriate.

We are often our best critics. The problem, however, is that we often don’t give ourselves the opportunity to evaluate our responses. It is likely that with more accurate and healthy thinking, we will all feel much more balanced, and also look for the positive, even in negative situations. Balancing multiple roles presents a multitude of challenges and difficulties; if we can stay focused on the benefits, however, we will feel better and act more healthily. Try it out and tell us what you think!

Mentors

Photo by army.arch

I remember early in graduate school, several of our professors suggesting that as students, we seek a mentor. Having someone that we could look up to, confide in, and go to for support and information would be a vital part of our being successful professionally, they said. I listened to that advice and quickly sought someone out who served as my mentor early in my training and career and has continued to be a source of support since. I admire his professional success and respect his opinion on numerous topics. I have often gone to him with questions or concerns, and left our conversations with a clearer picture of how to proceed. Having such mentorship has been instrumental, I believe, in my success, career-wise.

Many of us look for mentors, either formally or informally. Whether they provide guidance for us professionally or personally, we often need their ideas, based on their own experience, to help us navigate the terrain of our lives. I realized recently, though, that I don’t have a mentor for a major part of my identity: working mother.

I grew up in a family in which my mother did not work outside the home, and chose instead to raise me and my siblings full-time. She did not pursue a career away from the home until later in life, after her “birds” were out of the nest. The same goes for most of my female extended family members, as well. I was not consistently around women who had both careers and families and placed importance on both roles. As such, this life of mine sometimes feels like new territory to me. I don’t really have a model in mind of how to make it work.

Not having a personal mentor has presented challenges for me. I have so many questions, like, “Will my daughter thrive or struggle because of her daily involvement in daycare?” “How do I know that a daycare setting is a good match for her?” “What can I do to make getting chores around the house done more efficiently when I have such limited time during the week at home?” “How do I balance the demands of my career with those of my husband’s career?” The list could go on and on, and the questions I wrestle with change from week to week. Like my professional mentor, I would really like to have someone to look to or talk with about these concerns. And to learn how someone I respect balanced a complicated life like mine successfully.

As I don’t have a role model, per se, for my working mother role, I have recently begun seeking out people whom I can learn from. Colleagues, friends, and acquaintances who are working mothers are a wealthy source of information and support. Sometimes I learn what I want to do in my own life by watching theirs, and sometimes I learn things that I don’t want to repeat. While I don’t have anyone close to me who has a completely similar situation to mine, I am mostly pulling bits and pieces where I can. I also seek support and knowledge from forums such as this one: blogs, websites, books, and other non-face-to-face interactions. I figure that the more information I soak up for myself, the more I’ll have to digest and use.

In addition, I hope to be a mentor and role model for my daughter. Of course, I hope she will make her own choices about the things she values and how she defines herself, and I realize that those may be very different from my own. But even if she won’t be able to get all the answers from me or if she chooses a different lifestyle than mine, I hope that she will learn from the process I am engaging in now. I hope that she will learn to seek her own mentors and support in her own way.

Since this has been a struggle of mine recently, I am curious to hear from others. Who do you look to as a mentor in your life? If you are like me and don’t have anyone in particular who is a model for your important roles, what resources do you use to help you make decisions and to find support?

A Few Suggestions on Starting Fresh with Your Diet

photo by rysac1

Many of us would like to eat better, lose weight and feel more balanced when it comes to the food we consume. It is well known that food is a habit. Sometimes, it seems impossible to completely change our old habits. Instead, we can make a small change each week or month (or whatever time period seems reasonable to you). Here are a few suggestions that may be helpful to you along the way. Even if you take one or two, it may bring you closer to a balance:

• Start with a food diary. Write down everything that you eat for a couple of weeks. It will only make a difference if you write down everything. Remember, this is for yourself and you need to be real in order to make a change. Next, evaluate what you eat based on the suggestions I have below.


• Introduce a rainbow in your diet. Nature designed fruits and vegetables in different colors to let us know that there is an abundance of vitamins and minerals that we can gain from eating a multi-colored diet. For me, it is hard to remember what the effect of each fruit and vegetable is in terms of the nutritional support. For example, tomatoes and red grapefruit are full of lycopene which is known for being an antioxidant and anticarcinogenic. Broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower have isothiocyanates, which inhibit cancer growth. Instead of remembering all this, I like the idea of including as many colors as possible in a day or even a meal to ensure that my family gets the best nutritional support. This can be a perfect game for children: they can learn colors and have more fun eating fruit and vegetables.


• Try a new fruit or vegetable each week. Eating healthy can be quite entertaining not only for children, but also for adults. One of my friends decided that each week she will try a new vegetable or fruit to make sure she introduces new nutrients into her body.


• Six tastes. According to Ayurveda, a 5,000 year old healing system from India, you can get the most nutritional benefit and satisfaction out of your meal, if there are six tastes that are present in your food. These tastes are sweet (less refined sugar and more complex carbohydrates like whole wheat pasta, brown rice, quinoa, nuts and whole wheat breads); sour (sour fruits and vegetables, yogurt, cheese, pickles, vinegar, alcohol); salty (table salt, seafood, sauces, meat); bitter (e.g., green and yellow vegetables, green leafy vegetables); pungent (e.g., hot peppers, ginger, salsa, radishes, mustard, cloves, thyme, basil); and astringent (e.g., beans, legumes, lentils, pomegranates, cranberries, tea, dark greens). Each taste has a health function. Sweet taste builds tissues; sour promotes appetite and digestions; salty is mildly laxative and also promotes digestion; bitter is anti-inflammatory and detoxifying, pungent stimulates digestions, clears congestions, detoxifies; astringent is healing and provides lots of fiber. The typical American diet stops at the first three tastes - sweet, salty and sour (e.g., burger, salty fries and a pickle). As a result, many of us experience cravings. For example, if you are craving too much dark chocolate, you may not be getting enough bitter taste (e.g., green leafy vegetables). So, pay attention to your cravings and see if you can reduce them by introducing all six tastes. In old Indian households, the plate was divided into six portions to ensure that each taste was represented in the diet. It may seem like it would take a lot of preparation to introduce all the tastes, but you really don’t need to add a lot. For e.g., adding a leaf of basil and tomato to your sandwich can help with the pungent and sour tastes. If you cannot have all six tastes at each meal, try having them during the day.


• Lunch should be the biggest meal of the day. This is another Ayurvedic piece of wisdom, which is very different from how the Western world operates, i.e., typically dinner is the largest meal. Around noon, when the sun is at its peak, our ‘digestive fire’ is the fastest. During that time we can metabolize and extract the most nourishment out of our meal. Try an experiment, have a bigger lunch and you may notice that you don’t want as much for dinner (e.g., a cup of soup may satisfy you in the evening).


• Start using an appetite gauge with 1=starving and 10=stuffed before you decide whether or not it is time to eat. You should eat at 2=quite hungry and stop eating at 7=content. Overstuffing your stomach is similar to overstuffing your washer. When you put too much clothes, it is hard to wash it well. In a similar way, if you put too much food, it is hard to digest it well.


• When you go out to eat, go ethnic. Not all, but most ethnic restaurants will have much richer foods (e.g., more vegetables) than the typical American cuisine.


• As much as possible, eliminate FLUNC: Frozen, Leftovers, Unnatural, Nuked and Canned foods. The main purpose of food is to provide us with energy and information. How do you think the energy and information of apple that just came off the tree compares to an apple that has been processed, micro waved or canned? Of course, we cannot always eat fruit and vegetables from our garden. However, the closer you get to the source (e.g., apple tree), the more nutrients you will get from the food you are putting in yourself. When you have a choice to eat fresh or canned green beans, maybe you can lean towards using the fresher ingredient. If you do go with canned, try to use the organic version to reduce the number of preservatives and high amounts of sodium that are often present in many canned items. Leftovers of the food you prepared should be just fine for 2-3 days. The longer they are stored/frozen, the less nutrients they will have for you.


• Read labels. Ideally, you want to buy as much organic food as possible. However, I realize it is expensive; that’s why I suggest as much as possible (stores like Trader Joes and even Wal-Mart carry some organic items at a reasonable cost). If you buy non-organic items, pay attention to labels. If there is an ingredient that you cannot pronounce, most likely it is not natural and can be quite harmful for you (e.g., carcinogenic).
  

The list above is not to overwhelm you but provide you with guidance. Even one or two suggestions can bring you closer to feeling healthier. Please share what has worked for you when you have tried a food-related change.

The Skinny on Natural Sweeteners

Photo by CaliBeijaFlor

Maintaining health is a vital component of staying balanced. Not only to feeling balanced, physically, but also to having energy and strength enough, emotionally, to juggle life's challenges. Aundrea is back with us today to share her perspective on one way to make healthy choices for ourselves.

Did you know the average American consumes well over 20 teaspoons of added sugar on a daily basis, which adds up to an average of 142 pounds of sugar per person per year?! That’s more than two times what the USDA recommends and is proof of sugar’s addictive nature. Here are some tips on natural sweeteners, all of which are gentler than the refined white stuff, easier on the body’s blood sugar, and available in most health food stores.

Agave Nectar
Agave nectar is a natural liquid sweetener made from the juice of the agave cactus. It is 1.4 times sweeter than refined sugar, but does not create a sugar rush, and is much less disturbing to the body’s blood sugar levels than white sugar. Agave is high in fructose and some research suggests that fructose does not shut off appetite hormones, so you may end up overeating. When baking with Agave, reduce heat on oven by 25 degrees.

Barley Malt
Barley malt is made from the soaking, sprouting, mashing, cooking and roasting of barley. In this process, the carbohydrates are broken down into simple sugars, yet the final product is more of a whole food than many other sweeteners and capitalizes on the naturally present enzymes. Barley malt can come in the form of powder or syrup.

Birch Sugar
Also referred to as xylitol, this natural sugar substitute can be made from tree fiber or corncobs, and occurs naturally in many fruits and mushrooms. Birch sugar is sweet, yet low on the glycemic index, and can be used by those with diabetes and hypoglycemia. It has 40% fewer calories than sugar, prevents tooth decay, and repairs tooth enamel.

Birch Syrup
Birch syrup is also very low on the glycemic index and is rich in vitamins and minerals, including vitamin C, potassium, manganese, thiamine and calcium. This syrup is made from the concentrated sap of birch trees, and it takes 100 gallons of sap to make 1 gallon of syrup. Unlike maple syrup, which is composed of sucrose, this syrup is composed of fructose and is a gentler choice.

Brown Rice Syrup
This product consists of brown rice that has been ground and cooked, converting the starches to maltose. Brown rice syrup tastes like moderately sweet butterscotch and is quite delicious. In recipes, replace each cup of white sugar with ¼ cup brown rice syrup, and reduce the amount of other liquids. There is some glucose in syrup so diabetics should avoid using this sweetener.

Date Sugar
Date sugar consists of finely ground, dehydrated dates, utilizing this fruit’s vitamin, mineral and fiber content. If you like the taste of dates, this will definitely appeal to you. Date sugar can be used as a direct replacement for sugar and comes in a granulated form.

Erythritol
This sugar alcohol is a sweetener available in a powdered form. It is formed from the breaking down, fermenting, and filtering of sugar cane or corn starch. It has a cool taste that works well in coffee and tea. Erythritol doesn’t affect your blood sugar or cause tooth decay. The cons of this sweetener are it may cause gas, bloating and diarrhea if consumed in excess.

Honey
One of the oldest natural sweeteners, honey is sweeter than sugar. Depending on the plant source, honey can have a range of flavors, from dark and strongly flavored, to light and mildly flavored. Raw honey contains small amounts of enzymes, minerals and vitamins. Some vegans choose not to eat honey, as it is a byproduct of bees.

Maple Syrup
Maple syrup is made from boiled-down maple tree sap and contains many minerals. 40 gallons of sap are needed to make one gallon of maple syrup. It adds a pleasant flavor to foods and is great for baking. Be sure to buy 100% pure maple syrup and not maple-flavored corn syrup. Grade B is stronger in flavor and said to have more minerals than Grade A.

Maple Sugar
Maple sugar is created when the sap of the sugar maple is boiled for longer than is needed to create maple syrup. Once most of the water has evaporated, all that is left is the solid sugar. Maple sugar is about twice as sweet as standard granulated sugar, but much less refined.

Molasses
Organic molasses is probably the most nutritious sweetener derived from sugar cane or sugar beet, and is made by a process of clarifying and blending the extracted juices. The longer the juice is boiled, the less sweet, more nutritious and darker the product is. Molasses imparts a very distinct flavor to food. Blackstrap molasses, the most nutritious variety, is a good source of iron, calcium, magnesium and potassium.

Rapadura
This brand-name product is made from a process of extracting juice from the sugarcane plant, evaporating the water from the juice, and then grinding the results into a fine powdery texture. Rapadura is organic, rich in vitamins and minerals and unrefined.

Stevia
This leafy herb has been used for centuries by native South Americans. The extract from stevia is 100 to 300 times sweeter than white sugar. It can be used in cooking, baking and beverages, does not affect blood sugar levels, and has zero calories. Stevia is available in a powder or liquid form, but be sure to get the green or brown liquids or powders, because the white and clear versions are highly refined.

Sucanat
Short for Sugar Cane Natural, this brand-name product consists of evaporated organic cane juice made through a mechanical rather than a chemical process, and thus less refined, retaining many of the sugarcane’s original vitamins and minerals. It has a grainy texture and can be used in place of white sugar.

Vegetable Glycerin
Vegetable glycerin is a colorless, odorless liquid with a very sweet taste and the consistency of thick syrup. It is derived from coconut and palm oils. As a sweetener, it is ideal for candida patients because it does not contain sucrose.

Can Death Teach Us to Be More Balanced?

phote by elbphoto
We all want to feel that we can control many things in our lives. There is at least one that we don’t have much control over – the death of our close ones. As you may have guessed, this topic came about because I recently experienced a death in my family. My 50-year-old cousin passed away. She was born with a heart condition that nowadays is easily cured, but she had to live with it. She was told she wouldn’t be able to live until 20, but her desire to live and experience life was stronger than any statistics that was offered by medical doctors. She was not supposed to have any kids, yet she got married and had a child who is 26 years old now! She continued to work (taught mathematics at a university) until her last weeks. She is an outstanding example of the desire to live, progress and constantly move forward. As I joined my family during the funeral and other related events, I had a few insights that I think will help me keep my life more balanced. I wanted to share them with you and maybe you can add anything that you learned in similar situations.

I was amazed at how close and real my family became during this time. It seemed liked there was no room for self-image, drama or scandals over little things. Everyone seemed much more genuine and sincere. I was worried about what to say to others in this situation. I trusted myself and gave up the idea of trying to come up with perfect words. I realized that there was no need to come up with anything to say. Words became such a small part of how we communicated support to each other. They were replaced by other signs of support like listening, hugging, crying, laughing and just being with each other. I hope I can preserve this sincere and simple perspective in my interactions with family, friends and everyone. I am grateful to my cousin for helping us bring out these qualities in ourselves.

As I was listening to friends and family talking about my cousin and how much she got to experience in her rather short life, I realized how often I wait for the perfect moment to do something. I am a planner, which is great, but I also realize (even more now) that you cannot plan for everything. How many of you keep postponing something because it is not the perfect time? When is the best time to have kids? Should I leave my job and pursue my passion in life? When is the best time to travel to a place I have dreamt about visiting? Sometimes, we need to step into the unknown or have a little push forward even if we do not feel entirely prepared. At some point, we may realize that there is never going to be a perfect time for anything and by waiting too long we may pass our opportunity for something that is important to us. I thank my cousin for reminding me that life is there for us to experience it.


My cousin had a few very close girl friends. Their friendship lasted for years. It has been so good to hear them share memories of their adventures together. One of the friends said that the death of my cousin was a reminder about the importance of finding time for your friends and family; getting together and appreciating the beauty of friendships and close relationships.

Finally, one of the natural questions in this situation is to wonder what happens to us after we die. The truth about it, aside from the fact that not many of us know for sure, is that it depends on what you believe in. I found a great book by Deepak Chopra, “Life After Death” that discusses a multitude of opinions based on many different religious and spiritual beliefs, philosophies, and scientific discoveries. It was interesting to acknowledge that at some level we are constantly in the process of death and rebirth. For example, I am not a little girl or a teenager any longer. Many cells in my body constantly die and renew themselves. It seems like ‘the wall’ between life and death is not as thick as we sometimes think.

I realize that my cousin is not physically with us. However, I feel her presence through the wisdom that I acquired. I am thankful to her for leaving this behind and for giving us a chance to renew ourselves while we are still physically alive.