Flexibility

Photo by tamelyn

I had every intention of writing this post several days ago. The task of doing so was even on my to-do list and calendar, and so I was sure I would get it accomplished with plenty of time to spare. However, at 11:00pm last night when I still did not have it done, my eyelids were drooping, and I couldn’t think straight, I made the choice to get some sleep rather than finish that which should have been done days ago.

Life happens – quickly and unexpectedly, sometimes – especially during this season of the holidays. Of course, I should have predicted my well-laid plans may go out the window, but I held on to optimism (like I typically do) and assumed that I would tick things off my list in a fashionable order. But when my husband had to go out of town for an unplanned business trip, my job required some extra time unexpectedly, my daughter decided that she could not function without being held by me, and my dogs ran through a yard full of mud and tracked it all in on my newly cleaned carpets (several days before out-of-town guests arrive, of course!), I felt defeated. Along with writing this post, my to-do list also had the usual holiday myriad of baking, gift making, and laundry. I realistically could not do it all. Without necessarily choosing to, I have been duly reminded about flexibility.

Work-life balance research has shown time and time again that one of the most important factors that increase a person’s feeling of balance is that of perceived flexibility. The more you believe that you have flexibility in one (or all) of your roles, the more likely you are to believe you are able to balance them. And therefore, you will experience less conflict between your competing roles.

Flexibility = harmony.

The finding certainly makes logical sense. While this research has looked at the flexibility of the particular roles, I am also curious about what role flexibility of the individual plays.
One of my default characteristics is adherence to routines. Especially when I am trying to balance my life and “thrive in the juggle of life,” I find it paramount to have a schedule and a routine that I can count on. Most times, when I try to fly by the seat of my pants, things crumble into a disaster. Especially when it comes to children. But I have also learned that being flexible within that routine can be vital to finding balance too.

Too much rigidity is bad for the soul. While my initial reaction yesterday afternoon was to scream and pull my hair out, instead, I found myself gritting my teeth, taking a deep breath, and changing things up a bit. For example, while I really needed my daughter to play by herself while I cleaned up the dishes, I succumbed to her requests and enjoyed some time just holding her. While this may have slowed me down and prevented me from doing all I wanted, it also gave me the opportunity to nourish something important that I had left off my list that day.

I am certainly a work-in-progress with this whole flexibility thing. There is a fine line for me between having a flexible routine and all falling into mass chaos. Maybe that is a bit extreme, but it’s how I feel when things start to go out of plan. I am learning, though, that the chaos often offers the opportunity for some of the sweetest moments of my life.

Consider your approach to flexibility in your life. Do you have it? Sometimes it takes practice to be more comfortable with changing up a routine and being more flexible. Here are some ideas for ways to practice increasing your personal flexibility in order to balance your life roles:

1. Pick one night of the week and don’t make any dinner plans ahead of time. Don’t pick up take-out or go to the grocery store, but rather scramble around your house to find something to eat when you get home. (Doing this will teach you to have things around that you can fall back on when needed… especially on those days that you don’t plan an “unplanned dinner.”)

2. Take a different route to or from work (or school, the store, etc.). We often go into “auto-pilot” when engaged in a typical routine – forcing yourself out of that will open your eyes to new things in your surroundings. (It will also teach you other traveling routes so that when the need presents itself, you are prepared with a Plan B.)

3. Give yourself 5 extra minutes. For any task that you have to accomplish, plan an extra 5 minutes for it. Traveling, doing chores, drafting emails… anything. Having more time will automatically give you flexibility to change things up a bit if you need (or want) to.

4. Take a day trip away from home without a plan. Take a map or GPS, some snacks and water, and hit the road. Decide where to go as you are going – see where you end up and what you experience. This may sound a bit scary with kids, but some of the best times with children are spent spontaneously. And if you are really brave, do this on a day that you had other plans – ditch them and go!

5. Change up your wardrobe. Dig deep into your closet to pull out the things you never wear, trade clothes with a friend, and mix and match. I sometimes get into a clothing rut where I wear the same things, week in and week out. Pulling some different things together without spending extra money is a fun way to change it up and increase flexibility in your appearance.

Let us know your ideas on flexibility and any tips you have found to be helpful in generating more of it for yourself. For me, I will take a deep breath, press “publish” on this post, and get back to scrubbing mud out of the carpet. Happy flexible holidays!

Why Wednesday Is My New Favorite Day of the Week

photo by SashaW

“Ultimately you come to the state where you do nothing and accomplish everything” ~Deepak Chopra

Many of us are extremely busy and focused on what we need to do next. In some way, our existence on this planet is about non-stop doing versus being. Let me explain, we are so busy with everything we need to do every day that we forget to notice that even just being in this world feels quite good. Deepak Chopra wrote a book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, that outlines seven laws (one for each day of the week) that help us remember why being is important and how we can achieve what we want by going with the flow of life versus against it. For example, the spiritual day for Monday is the law of “Giving and receiving.” It reminds us about the importance of having the circulation of giving and receiving in our lives. The law of the day on Thursday is about our intentions and desires. It reminds us to be aware of our deepest desires and to take steps (even small ones) towards them.

We have a guest today, Sue Knight, Ph.D., who pays attention to these laws every day of her life. She wants to share with you information on her favorite law of the day. Thank you, Sue!

Ever since I decided to focus on one of The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success each day of the week, I love Wednesdays. The Law of Least Effort, the fourth Law, is my favorite. It’s based on the idea that the total combined wisdom of the Universe or Nature is operating at all times, and the less I try to intervene or even fight my way through, the more harmonious the outcomes will be. Sure, I do have a piece of the Universe’s divine wisdom inside myself, but sometimes it’s way inside there, and I’m not accessing it effectively. The Law of Least Effort reminds me that a good default option to always consider is letting nature take its course. Here’s how that law has made Wednesday the BEST for me:

Each morning when I wake up, I review the spiritual law of the day before I start meditating, starting with the first law on Sunday. I think about the concept behind the law and the three guideline tips for applying the law that are included in Chopra’s book. On Wednesdays, I’m thinking about the tremendous release offered by the idea that the least effort may be the best effort in any given situation. And I’m remembering the three guideline tips I can use to make it happen for me:

• Accept people, events, and circumstances as they are. Minimize my attempts to control the world.
• Be responsible by using my “ability” to “respond” in the moment when that is right. Stop blaming myself or anyone else for the way things are; just go forward with “now.”
• Avoid defensiveness. It’s amazing how much time is saved by simply not defending my position!

As I go about my Wednesday, the Law of Least Effort is playing in the background of my mind and can be brought to the forefront at any time. It’s especially useful when I want to stop racing thoughts, when I’m in an awkward social situation, when I’m struggling with a work issue, or when I’m feeling like I have too much to do with too little time. A simple reflection on the harmony that exists in the vastness of the universe is enough to take the pressure off me to provide the “fix.” When I do that, I start relaxing in the idea that I’m just a little piece in a gigantic puzzle, and the more I can keep my edges soft, the better for the whole to fit together. Once I’m thinking about the gigantic puzzle and I’m in Law of Least Effort mode, I’m better able to respond to what other puzzle pieces are presenting and align myself so everything goes together better.

I used to think of Wednesday as “Hump Day” – I was all about getting closer to the weekend, and Wednesday represented getting halfway there. Now with my new perspective, I’m savoring the moments with their constant opportunities to give least effort on Wednesday – and it’s much more enjoyable! Plus things just seem to turn out better without my resistance. Of course, use of the Law of Least Effort isn’t limited to Wednesday; over time it’s becoming a more typical response option for me 24-7.

All of the spiritual laws have added to my “life-balancing repertoire” over the last year since I started using them, and each day is better now that there’s an underlying law to consider whenever I’d like. Just one more example: Sunday is the Law of Pure Potentiality, which contains reminders of the infinite possibilities contained within every single moment. The three guideline tips are to: 1) meditate in a way that frees my mind from my day-to-day surroundings, thoughts and feelings, 2) spend time outside marveling at the way nature unfolds, and 3) avoid judging anyone or anything, since there is obviously a much larger sense to everything than I am aware of.

Please share with us if there is anything that helps you to get a perspective on things when life seems to be spinning around with lots of responsibilities.

Take a (Holiday) Hike

Photo by mimo

‘Tis the season to overeat…and I am guilty. How can anyone resist all of the holiday treats, large meals, and plethora of desserts? I am doing good to hold it down to a moderate amount of gluttony.

My typical way of coping with my love of food is exercise. While I certainly don’t exercise on the regiment that I should, over the years I have learned to mix some exercise or physical activity in during times when eating is the theme of the season.

A recent post by Stacey lists starting new family traditions as a way to simplify your holiday season. There is no reason why new family traditions have to be centered around a coffee table full of fudge and peanut brittle. At one of our family gatherings, we have started the tradition of having a basketball game. All are invited to play, and it is a great way to work off some turkey and dressing.

For those of you who go back to your hometown for the holidays, walk around the neighborhood, showing your kids where you grew up playing, or walk to old friends’ and neighbors’ homes to give them holiday well-wishes. For those of you who enjoy the outdoors, pack up the leftovers, bundle up, and take the family for a hike in the woods. If the weather is too inclement, there are other options like indoor community centers, or I hear that the Nintendo Wii Fit is great fun for the entire family.

Look for a new holiday tradition that can burn some calories. You’ll feel better about yourself and you will not have so much ground to make up after the New Year. There will be some scrooges that do not want to participate, but, if you will lead the charge, others will join in. What calorie burning activities do you enjoy with your family during the holidays?

Thank you, David, for your great ideas on keeping balance through the holidays! We hope you all have enjoyed Holiday Week at :simple:balance:, and we look forward to sharing more on finding life balance with you next week. Happy weekend!

R-E-L-A-X This Holiday Season

Photo by littlemoresunshine

Aundrea is back to give her perspective, as a certified holistic health counselor, on how to find some relaxation during such a busy time of year...

Doesn’t it seem like the race gun is fired right after your Thanksgiving meal? You can almost hear “And they’re off!” as the flurry of activities and events begin to fill our days and calendars. Well, we should be putting some other to-do’s in our calendars as well … reminders to R-E-L-A-X …

Here are some tips to do just that:

:: Visualize your ideal holiday season as balanced and harmonious. Don’t be afraid to re-evaluate family traditions and start some new ones.

:: Think about what relaxation means to you. Whether it means taking a bath, going to the gym or taking a yoga class, find ways that help you recharge your batteries so you are not constantly on the go.

:: Schedule down time. Enjoy time alone by listening to music or reading a book. Turn off your phone, if you can, so you are not distracted.

:: Recognize when you’re experiencing too much stress. Decrease your stress levels by deep breathing or visualizing a place you’d like to be.

:: Keep focused on your relaxation goals. Remind yourself why it’s important to stay relaxed and balanced.

Staying relaxed is not only important around the holidays, but year-round. When you are living in harmony with your own body you’ll experience better health and more happiness – and so will your loved ones! Happy holidays!