Photo by tamelyn
I had every intention of writing this post several days ago. The task of doing so was even on my to-do list and calendar, and so I was sure I would get it accomplished with plenty of time to spare. However, at 11:00pm last night when I still did not have it done, my eyelids were drooping, and I couldn’t think straight, I made the choice to get some sleep rather than finish that which should have been done days ago.
Life happens – quickly and unexpectedly, sometimes – especially during this season of the holidays. Of course, I should have predicted my well-laid plans may go out the window, but I held on to optimism (like I typically do) and assumed that I would tick things off my list in a fashionable order. But when my husband had to go out of town for an unplanned business trip, my job required some extra time unexpectedly, my daughter decided that she could not function without being held by me, and my dogs ran through a yard full of mud and tracked it all in on my newly cleaned carpets (several days before out-of-town guests arrive, of course!), I felt defeated. Along with writing this post, my to-do list also had the usual holiday myriad of baking, gift making, and laundry. I realistically could not do it all. Without necessarily choosing to, I have been duly reminded about flexibility.
Work-life balance research has shown time and time again that one of the most important factors that increase a person’s feeling of balance is that of perceived flexibility. The more you believe that you have flexibility in one (or all) of your roles, the more likely you are to believe you are able to balance them. And therefore, you will experience less conflict between your competing roles.
Flexibility = harmony.
The finding certainly makes logical sense. While this research has looked at the flexibility of the particular roles, I am also curious about what role flexibility of the individual plays.
One of my default characteristics is adherence to routines. Especially when I am trying to balance my life and “thrive in the juggle of life,” I find it paramount to have a schedule and a routine that I can count on. Most times, when I try to fly by the seat of my pants, things crumble into a disaster. Especially when it comes to children. But I have also learned that being flexible within that routine can be vital to finding balance too.
Too much rigidity is bad for the soul. While my initial reaction yesterday afternoon was to scream and pull my hair out, instead, I found myself gritting my teeth, taking a deep breath, and changing things up a bit. For example, while I really needed my daughter to play by herself while I cleaned up the dishes, I succumbed to her requests and enjoyed some time just holding her. While this may have slowed me down and prevented me from doing all I wanted, it also gave me the opportunity to nourish something important that I had left off my list that day.
I am certainly a work-in-progress with this whole flexibility thing. There is a fine line for me between having a flexible routine and all falling into mass chaos. Maybe that is a bit extreme, but it’s how I feel when things start to go out of plan. I am learning, though, that the chaos often offers the opportunity for some of the sweetest moments of my life.
Consider your approach to flexibility in your life. Do you have it? Sometimes it takes practice to be more comfortable with changing up a routine and being more flexible. Here are some ideas for ways to practice increasing your personal flexibility in order to balance your life roles:
1. Pick one night of the week and don’t make any dinner plans ahead of time. Don’t pick up take-out or go to the grocery store, but rather scramble around your house to find something to eat when you get home. (Doing this will teach you to have things around that you can fall back on when needed… especially on those days that you don’t plan an “unplanned dinner.”)
Life happens – quickly and unexpectedly, sometimes – especially during this season of the holidays. Of course, I should have predicted my well-laid plans may go out the window, but I held on to optimism (like I typically do) and assumed that I would tick things off my list in a fashionable order. But when my husband had to go out of town for an unplanned business trip, my job required some extra time unexpectedly, my daughter decided that she could not function without being held by me, and my dogs ran through a yard full of mud and tracked it all in on my newly cleaned carpets (several days before out-of-town guests arrive, of course!), I felt defeated. Along with writing this post, my to-do list also had the usual holiday myriad of baking, gift making, and laundry. I realistically could not do it all. Without necessarily choosing to, I have been duly reminded about flexibility.
Work-life balance research has shown time and time again that one of the most important factors that increase a person’s feeling of balance is that of perceived flexibility. The more you believe that you have flexibility in one (or all) of your roles, the more likely you are to believe you are able to balance them. And therefore, you will experience less conflict between your competing roles.
Flexibility = harmony.
The finding certainly makes logical sense. While this research has looked at the flexibility of the particular roles, I am also curious about what role flexibility of the individual plays.
One of my default characteristics is adherence to routines. Especially when I am trying to balance my life and “thrive in the juggle of life,” I find it paramount to have a schedule and a routine that I can count on. Most times, when I try to fly by the seat of my pants, things crumble into a disaster. Especially when it comes to children. But I have also learned that being flexible within that routine can be vital to finding balance too.
Too much rigidity is bad for the soul. While my initial reaction yesterday afternoon was to scream and pull my hair out, instead, I found myself gritting my teeth, taking a deep breath, and changing things up a bit. For example, while I really needed my daughter to play by herself while I cleaned up the dishes, I succumbed to her requests and enjoyed some time just holding her. While this may have slowed me down and prevented me from doing all I wanted, it also gave me the opportunity to nourish something important that I had left off my list that day.
I am certainly a work-in-progress with this whole flexibility thing. There is a fine line for me between having a flexible routine and all falling into mass chaos. Maybe that is a bit extreme, but it’s how I feel when things start to go out of plan. I am learning, though, that the chaos often offers the opportunity for some of the sweetest moments of my life.
Consider your approach to flexibility in your life. Do you have it? Sometimes it takes practice to be more comfortable with changing up a routine and being more flexible. Here are some ideas for ways to practice increasing your personal flexibility in order to balance your life roles:
1. Pick one night of the week and don’t make any dinner plans ahead of time. Don’t pick up take-out or go to the grocery store, but rather scramble around your house to find something to eat when you get home. (Doing this will teach you to have things around that you can fall back on when needed… especially on those days that you don’t plan an “unplanned dinner.”)
2. Take a different route to or from work (or school, the store, etc.). We often go into “auto-pilot” when engaged in a typical routine – forcing yourself out of that will open your eyes to new things in your surroundings. (It will also teach you other traveling routes so that when the need presents itself, you are prepared with a Plan B.)
3. Give yourself 5 extra minutes. For any task that you have to accomplish, plan an extra 5 minutes for it. Traveling, doing chores, drafting emails… anything. Having more time will automatically give you flexibility to change things up a bit if you need (or want) to.
4. Take a day trip away from home without a plan. Take a map or GPS, some snacks and water, and hit the road. Decide where to go as you are going – see where you end up and what you experience. This may sound a bit scary with kids, but some of the best times with children are spent spontaneously. And if you are really brave, do this on a day that you had other plans – ditch them and go!
5. Change up your wardrobe. Dig deep into your closet to pull out the things you never wear, trade clothes with a friend, and mix and match. I sometimes get into a clothing rut where I wear the same things, week in and week out. Pulling some different things together without spending extra money is a fun way to change it up and increase flexibility in your appearance.
Let us know your ideas on flexibility and any tips you have found to be helpful in generating more of it for yourself. For me, I will take a deep breath, press “publish” on this post, and get back to scrubbing mud out of the carpet. Happy flexible holidays!
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