Mentors

Photo by army.arch

I remember early in graduate school, several of our professors suggesting that as students, we seek a mentor. Having someone that we could look up to, confide in, and go to for support and information would be a vital part of our being successful professionally, they said. I listened to that advice and quickly sought someone out who served as my mentor early in my training and career and has continued to be a source of support since. I admire his professional success and respect his opinion on numerous topics. I have often gone to him with questions or concerns, and left our conversations with a clearer picture of how to proceed. Having such mentorship has been instrumental, I believe, in my success, career-wise.

Many of us look for mentors, either formally or informally. Whether they provide guidance for us professionally or personally, we often need their ideas, based on their own experience, to help us navigate the terrain of our lives. I realized recently, though, that I don’t have a mentor for a major part of my identity: working mother.

I grew up in a family in which my mother did not work outside the home, and chose instead to raise me and my siblings full-time. She did not pursue a career away from the home until later in life, after her “birds” were out of the nest. The same goes for most of my female extended family members, as well. I was not consistently around women who had both careers and families and placed importance on both roles. As such, this life of mine sometimes feels like new territory to me. I don’t really have a model in mind of how to make it work.

Not having a personal mentor has presented challenges for me. I have so many questions, like, “Will my daughter thrive or struggle because of her daily involvement in daycare?” “How do I know that a daycare setting is a good match for her?” “What can I do to make getting chores around the house done more efficiently when I have such limited time during the week at home?” “How do I balance the demands of my career with those of my husband’s career?” The list could go on and on, and the questions I wrestle with change from week to week. Like my professional mentor, I would really like to have someone to look to or talk with about these concerns. And to learn how someone I respect balanced a complicated life like mine successfully.

As I don’t have a role model, per se, for my working mother role, I have recently begun seeking out people whom I can learn from. Colleagues, friends, and acquaintances who are working mothers are a wealthy source of information and support. Sometimes I learn what I want to do in my own life by watching theirs, and sometimes I learn things that I don’t want to repeat. While I don’t have anyone close to me who has a completely similar situation to mine, I am mostly pulling bits and pieces where I can. I also seek support and knowledge from forums such as this one: blogs, websites, books, and other non-face-to-face interactions. I figure that the more information I soak up for myself, the more I’ll have to digest and use.

In addition, I hope to be a mentor and role model for my daughter. Of course, I hope she will make her own choices about the things she values and how she defines herself, and I realize that those may be very different from my own. But even if she won’t be able to get all the answers from me or if she chooses a different lifestyle than mine, I hope that she will learn from the process I am engaging in now. I hope that she will learn to seek her own mentors and support in her own way.

Since this has been a struggle of mine recently, I am curious to hear from others. Who do you look to as a mentor in your life? If you are like me and don’t have anyone in particular who is a model for your important roles, what resources do you use to help you make decisions and to find support?

A Few Suggestions on Starting Fresh with Your Diet

photo by rysac1

Many of us would like to eat better, lose weight and feel more balanced when it comes to the food we consume. It is well known that food is a habit. Sometimes, it seems impossible to completely change our old habits. Instead, we can make a small change each week or month (or whatever time period seems reasonable to you). Here are a few suggestions that may be helpful to you along the way. Even if you take one or two, it may bring you closer to a balance:

• Start with a food diary. Write down everything that you eat for a couple of weeks. It will only make a difference if you write down everything. Remember, this is for yourself and you need to be real in order to make a change. Next, evaluate what you eat based on the suggestions I have below.


• Introduce a rainbow in your diet. Nature designed fruits and vegetables in different colors to let us know that there is an abundance of vitamins and minerals that we can gain from eating a multi-colored diet. For me, it is hard to remember what the effect of each fruit and vegetable is in terms of the nutritional support. For example, tomatoes and red grapefruit are full of lycopene which is known for being an antioxidant and anticarcinogenic. Broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower have isothiocyanates, which inhibit cancer growth. Instead of remembering all this, I like the idea of including as many colors as possible in a day or even a meal to ensure that my family gets the best nutritional support. This can be a perfect game for children: they can learn colors and have more fun eating fruit and vegetables.


• Try a new fruit or vegetable each week. Eating healthy can be quite entertaining not only for children, but also for adults. One of my friends decided that each week she will try a new vegetable or fruit to make sure she introduces new nutrients into her body.


• Six tastes. According to Ayurveda, a 5,000 year old healing system from India, you can get the most nutritional benefit and satisfaction out of your meal, if there are six tastes that are present in your food. These tastes are sweet (less refined sugar and more complex carbohydrates like whole wheat pasta, brown rice, quinoa, nuts and whole wheat breads); sour (sour fruits and vegetables, yogurt, cheese, pickles, vinegar, alcohol); salty (table salt, seafood, sauces, meat); bitter (e.g., green and yellow vegetables, green leafy vegetables); pungent (e.g., hot peppers, ginger, salsa, radishes, mustard, cloves, thyme, basil); and astringent (e.g., beans, legumes, lentils, pomegranates, cranberries, tea, dark greens). Each taste has a health function. Sweet taste builds tissues; sour promotes appetite and digestions; salty is mildly laxative and also promotes digestion; bitter is anti-inflammatory and detoxifying, pungent stimulates digestions, clears congestions, detoxifies; astringent is healing and provides lots of fiber. The typical American diet stops at the first three tastes - sweet, salty and sour (e.g., burger, salty fries and a pickle). As a result, many of us experience cravings. For example, if you are craving too much dark chocolate, you may not be getting enough bitter taste (e.g., green leafy vegetables). So, pay attention to your cravings and see if you can reduce them by introducing all six tastes. In old Indian households, the plate was divided into six portions to ensure that each taste was represented in the diet. It may seem like it would take a lot of preparation to introduce all the tastes, but you really don’t need to add a lot. For e.g., adding a leaf of basil and tomato to your sandwich can help with the pungent and sour tastes. If you cannot have all six tastes at each meal, try having them during the day.


• Lunch should be the biggest meal of the day. This is another Ayurvedic piece of wisdom, which is very different from how the Western world operates, i.e., typically dinner is the largest meal. Around noon, when the sun is at its peak, our ‘digestive fire’ is the fastest. During that time we can metabolize and extract the most nourishment out of our meal. Try an experiment, have a bigger lunch and you may notice that you don’t want as much for dinner (e.g., a cup of soup may satisfy you in the evening).


• Start using an appetite gauge with 1=starving and 10=stuffed before you decide whether or not it is time to eat. You should eat at 2=quite hungry and stop eating at 7=content. Overstuffing your stomach is similar to overstuffing your washer. When you put too much clothes, it is hard to wash it well. In a similar way, if you put too much food, it is hard to digest it well.


• When you go out to eat, go ethnic. Not all, but most ethnic restaurants will have much richer foods (e.g., more vegetables) than the typical American cuisine.


• As much as possible, eliminate FLUNC: Frozen, Leftovers, Unnatural, Nuked and Canned foods. The main purpose of food is to provide us with energy and information. How do you think the energy and information of apple that just came off the tree compares to an apple that has been processed, micro waved or canned? Of course, we cannot always eat fruit and vegetables from our garden. However, the closer you get to the source (e.g., apple tree), the more nutrients you will get from the food you are putting in yourself. When you have a choice to eat fresh or canned green beans, maybe you can lean towards using the fresher ingredient. If you do go with canned, try to use the organic version to reduce the number of preservatives and high amounts of sodium that are often present in many canned items. Leftovers of the food you prepared should be just fine for 2-3 days. The longer they are stored/frozen, the less nutrients they will have for you.


• Read labels. Ideally, you want to buy as much organic food as possible. However, I realize it is expensive; that’s why I suggest as much as possible (stores like Trader Joes and even Wal-Mart carry some organic items at a reasonable cost). If you buy non-organic items, pay attention to labels. If there is an ingredient that you cannot pronounce, most likely it is not natural and can be quite harmful for you (e.g., carcinogenic).
  

The list above is not to overwhelm you but provide you with guidance. Even one or two suggestions can bring you closer to feeling healthier. Please share what has worked for you when you have tried a food-related change.

The Skinny on Natural Sweeteners

Photo by CaliBeijaFlor

Maintaining health is a vital component of staying balanced. Not only to feeling balanced, physically, but also to having energy and strength enough, emotionally, to juggle life's challenges. Aundrea is back with us today to share her perspective on one way to make healthy choices for ourselves.

Did you know the average American consumes well over 20 teaspoons of added sugar on a daily basis, which adds up to an average of 142 pounds of sugar per person per year?! That’s more than two times what the USDA recommends and is proof of sugar’s addictive nature. Here are some tips on natural sweeteners, all of which are gentler than the refined white stuff, easier on the body’s blood sugar, and available in most health food stores.

Agave Nectar
Agave nectar is a natural liquid sweetener made from the juice of the agave cactus. It is 1.4 times sweeter than refined sugar, but does not create a sugar rush, and is much less disturbing to the body’s blood sugar levels than white sugar. Agave is high in fructose and some research suggests that fructose does not shut off appetite hormones, so you may end up overeating. When baking with Agave, reduce heat on oven by 25 degrees.

Barley Malt
Barley malt is made from the soaking, sprouting, mashing, cooking and roasting of barley. In this process, the carbohydrates are broken down into simple sugars, yet the final product is more of a whole food than many other sweeteners and capitalizes on the naturally present enzymes. Barley malt can come in the form of powder or syrup.

Birch Sugar
Also referred to as xylitol, this natural sugar substitute can be made from tree fiber or corncobs, and occurs naturally in many fruits and mushrooms. Birch sugar is sweet, yet low on the glycemic index, and can be used by those with diabetes and hypoglycemia. It has 40% fewer calories than sugar, prevents tooth decay, and repairs tooth enamel.

Birch Syrup
Birch syrup is also very low on the glycemic index and is rich in vitamins and minerals, including vitamin C, potassium, manganese, thiamine and calcium. This syrup is made from the concentrated sap of birch trees, and it takes 100 gallons of sap to make 1 gallon of syrup. Unlike maple syrup, which is composed of sucrose, this syrup is composed of fructose and is a gentler choice.

Brown Rice Syrup
This product consists of brown rice that has been ground and cooked, converting the starches to maltose. Brown rice syrup tastes like moderately sweet butterscotch and is quite delicious. In recipes, replace each cup of white sugar with ¼ cup brown rice syrup, and reduce the amount of other liquids. There is some glucose in syrup so diabetics should avoid using this sweetener.

Date Sugar
Date sugar consists of finely ground, dehydrated dates, utilizing this fruit’s vitamin, mineral and fiber content. If you like the taste of dates, this will definitely appeal to you. Date sugar can be used as a direct replacement for sugar and comes in a granulated form.

Erythritol
This sugar alcohol is a sweetener available in a powdered form. It is formed from the breaking down, fermenting, and filtering of sugar cane or corn starch. It has a cool taste that works well in coffee and tea. Erythritol doesn’t affect your blood sugar or cause tooth decay. The cons of this sweetener are it may cause gas, bloating and diarrhea if consumed in excess.

Honey
One of the oldest natural sweeteners, honey is sweeter than sugar. Depending on the plant source, honey can have a range of flavors, from dark and strongly flavored, to light and mildly flavored. Raw honey contains small amounts of enzymes, minerals and vitamins. Some vegans choose not to eat honey, as it is a byproduct of bees.

Maple Syrup
Maple syrup is made from boiled-down maple tree sap and contains many minerals. 40 gallons of sap are needed to make one gallon of maple syrup. It adds a pleasant flavor to foods and is great for baking. Be sure to buy 100% pure maple syrup and not maple-flavored corn syrup. Grade B is stronger in flavor and said to have more minerals than Grade A.

Maple Sugar
Maple sugar is created when the sap of the sugar maple is boiled for longer than is needed to create maple syrup. Once most of the water has evaporated, all that is left is the solid sugar. Maple sugar is about twice as sweet as standard granulated sugar, but much less refined.

Molasses
Organic molasses is probably the most nutritious sweetener derived from sugar cane or sugar beet, and is made by a process of clarifying and blending the extracted juices. The longer the juice is boiled, the less sweet, more nutritious and darker the product is. Molasses imparts a very distinct flavor to food. Blackstrap molasses, the most nutritious variety, is a good source of iron, calcium, magnesium and potassium.

Rapadura
This brand-name product is made from a process of extracting juice from the sugarcane plant, evaporating the water from the juice, and then grinding the results into a fine powdery texture. Rapadura is organic, rich in vitamins and minerals and unrefined.

Stevia
This leafy herb has been used for centuries by native South Americans. The extract from stevia is 100 to 300 times sweeter than white sugar. It can be used in cooking, baking and beverages, does not affect blood sugar levels, and has zero calories. Stevia is available in a powder or liquid form, but be sure to get the green or brown liquids or powders, because the white and clear versions are highly refined.

Sucanat
Short for Sugar Cane Natural, this brand-name product consists of evaporated organic cane juice made through a mechanical rather than a chemical process, and thus less refined, retaining many of the sugarcane’s original vitamins and minerals. It has a grainy texture and can be used in place of white sugar.

Vegetable Glycerin
Vegetable glycerin is a colorless, odorless liquid with a very sweet taste and the consistency of thick syrup. It is derived from coconut and palm oils. As a sweetener, it is ideal for candida patients because it does not contain sucrose.

Can Death Teach Us to Be More Balanced?

phote by elbphoto
We all want to feel that we can control many things in our lives. There is at least one that we don’t have much control over – the death of our close ones. As you may have guessed, this topic came about because I recently experienced a death in my family. My 50-year-old cousin passed away. She was born with a heart condition that nowadays is easily cured, but she had to live with it. She was told she wouldn’t be able to live until 20, but her desire to live and experience life was stronger than any statistics that was offered by medical doctors. She was not supposed to have any kids, yet she got married and had a child who is 26 years old now! She continued to work (taught mathematics at a university) until her last weeks. She is an outstanding example of the desire to live, progress and constantly move forward. As I joined my family during the funeral and other related events, I had a few insights that I think will help me keep my life more balanced. I wanted to share them with you and maybe you can add anything that you learned in similar situations.

I was amazed at how close and real my family became during this time. It seemed liked there was no room for self-image, drama or scandals over little things. Everyone seemed much more genuine and sincere. I was worried about what to say to others in this situation. I trusted myself and gave up the idea of trying to come up with perfect words. I realized that there was no need to come up with anything to say. Words became such a small part of how we communicated support to each other. They were replaced by other signs of support like listening, hugging, crying, laughing and just being with each other. I hope I can preserve this sincere and simple perspective in my interactions with family, friends and everyone. I am grateful to my cousin for helping us bring out these qualities in ourselves.

As I was listening to friends and family talking about my cousin and how much she got to experience in her rather short life, I realized how often I wait for the perfect moment to do something. I am a planner, which is great, but I also realize (even more now) that you cannot plan for everything. How many of you keep postponing something because it is not the perfect time? When is the best time to have kids? Should I leave my job and pursue my passion in life? When is the best time to travel to a place I have dreamt about visiting? Sometimes, we need to step into the unknown or have a little push forward even if we do not feel entirely prepared. At some point, we may realize that there is never going to be a perfect time for anything and by waiting too long we may pass our opportunity for something that is important to us. I thank my cousin for reminding me that life is there for us to experience it.


My cousin had a few very close girl friends. Their friendship lasted for years. It has been so good to hear them share memories of their adventures together. One of the friends said that the death of my cousin was a reminder about the importance of finding time for your friends and family; getting together and appreciating the beauty of friendships and close relationships.

Finally, one of the natural questions in this situation is to wonder what happens to us after we die. The truth about it, aside from the fact that not many of us know for sure, is that it depends on what you believe in. I found a great book by Deepak Chopra, “Life After Death” that discusses a multitude of opinions based on many different religious and spiritual beliefs, philosophies, and scientific discoveries. It was interesting to acknowledge that at some level we are constantly in the process of death and rebirth. For example, I am not a little girl or a teenager any longer. Many cells in my body constantly die and renew themselves. It seems like ‘the wall’ between life and death is not as thick as we sometimes think.

I realize that my cousin is not physically with us. However, I feel her presence through the wisdom that I acquired. I am thankful to her for leaving this behind and for giving us a chance to renew ourselves while we are still physically alive.