Photo by Mommyof4Ruggies
It seems like every year is the same: despite careful plotting and planning, the time surrounding the holidays is incredibly stressful. Inevitably, a tight work deadline looms as clients try to get projects wrapped up before year’s end. This year, although I made my list and checked it twice, somehow I looked up and realized that the holidays were here. I had little time left to write cards, finish making homemade gifts, bake special treats, buy gifts, wrap, pack, make arrangements with the pet sitter, ship packages to far-off loved ones, and belatedly remember a little something for the babysitter. I said things to myself like, “I have too much to do” and “there is too little time,” which only heightened my frazzled state. Before long, Christmas carols became tedious, I became as snarly as the traffic, and there was frustration and irritability in the frosty air.
So again this year I was reminded – and reminded myself – that the language we use to describe our situations to ourselves has a profound effect on our emotional experience. When I remember to school myself, I instead choose to say, “There is so much I want to do” and focus on being grateful that I had so many wonderful people in my life that I wanted to acknowledge during this special time of year. I can almost feel the tension leave my back when I make this shift.
In a broader sense as well, the words and imagery we use impact our attempts to seek balance in our lives. We are complex creatures. Language and mental pictures are essential elements of our intelligence as human beings and shape the way we think. How we think in turn impacts how we feel. Thus, knowing how to shape how we think (meta-cognition, or thinking about thinking) has the potential to allow us to dramatically shape our life experience. In other words, we need to understand how we respond to words and imagery so that we can frame our experiences for ourselves in ways that encourage us to be positive and adaptive instead of throwing our hands up in the air in frustration and defeat.
Even the word “balance” has the potential to color our feelings, and, therefore, our behavior and experiences. Balance connotes striving to find a point of equilibrium between two extremes. It implies that the “happy medium” is somewhere between those poles. That is, it fully embraces neither, but is a compromise of sorts in between them. For some people, this term and image has the potential to create tension and frustration if it seems impossible to have, for example, both satisfying work and a fulfilling family life without sacrificing some of one or both. We also often use the analogy of juggling. This image may be more palatable to some, as it implies a dynamic, skillful, and even playful attempt at having more balls than you can hold in your hands at once. For others, though, this image may portend disaster in the potential for dropping all of the balls at the same time.
As wise teachers from many traditions tell us, “know thyself.” Self-awareness is the first step toward self-mastery, no less so when it comes to our attempts to lead balanced, fulfilling lives.
What phrases, clichés, and images speak to you, and which ones turn you off or leave you cold?
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So again this year I was reminded – and reminded myself – that the language we use to describe our situations to ourselves has a profound effect on our emotional experience. When I remember to school myself, I instead choose to say, “There is so much I want to do” and focus on being grateful that I had so many wonderful people in my life that I wanted to acknowledge during this special time of year. I can almost feel the tension leave my back when I make this shift.
In a broader sense as well, the words and imagery we use impact our attempts to seek balance in our lives. We are complex creatures. Language and mental pictures are essential elements of our intelligence as human beings and shape the way we think. How we think in turn impacts how we feel. Thus, knowing how to shape how we think (meta-cognition, or thinking about thinking) has the potential to allow us to dramatically shape our life experience. In other words, we need to understand how we respond to words and imagery so that we can frame our experiences for ourselves in ways that encourage us to be positive and adaptive instead of throwing our hands up in the air in frustration and defeat.
Even the word “balance” has the potential to color our feelings, and, therefore, our behavior and experiences. Balance connotes striving to find a point of equilibrium between two extremes. It implies that the “happy medium” is somewhere between those poles. That is, it fully embraces neither, but is a compromise of sorts in between them. For some people, this term and image has the potential to create tension and frustration if it seems impossible to have, for example, both satisfying work and a fulfilling family life without sacrificing some of one or both. We also often use the analogy of juggling. This image may be more palatable to some, as it implies a dynamic, skillful, and even playful attempt at having more balls than you can hold in your hands at once. For others, though, this image may portend disaster in the potential for dropping all of the balls at the same time.
As wise teachers from many traditions tell us, “know thyself.” Self-awareness is the first step toward self-mastery, no less so when it comes to our attempts to lead balanced, fulfilling lives.
What phrases, clichés, and images speak to you, and which ones turn you off or leave you cold?
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Dana, a work-at-home mom with a young son, has a lot of experience with "thriving in the juggle of life." We are excited to welcome her back today.
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