Creole Flavored Black Bean Burger

photo by alt10trader's

I am always searching for some easy yet delicious vegetarian recipes. This weekend I tried a delicious Black Bean Burger and the chef shared a recipe that I would love you to try. Serve this burger with a green salad and a side of sweet mashed or roasted potatoes (you will be delighted by the rainbow of colors on your plate). Enjoy!

Yields 6 to 8 burgers

2-15 oz cans of black beans drained

1/2 onin diced

1/2 red pepper diced

1/4 tsp Braggs amino acid; Tamari or Soy Sauce

1 tbsp of cilantro chopped

1/4 cup of bread crumbs

Dash of hot sauce

2 tsp of Creole or cajun seasonings

3 cloves of garlic minced

Salt and Pepper to taste

Mash beans together in a large bowl, add all other ingredients and mix weel, from into patties and saute over medium heat for about 3 minutes per side or until warm or spray gril with cooking spray and gril until warm through turning often.

1 patty - Calories 285; total fat 1g, saturated fat 0 g, cholesterol 12 mg, sodium 214 mg, carbohydrates 32 g, dietary fiber 6g, protein 7 g

De-Cluttering

Photo by Thrift Store Addict

When I was thinking about my new year’s resolutions this year, I did some reading on-line, and came across a lot of people who had identified de-cluttering as a goal. Simplicity, orderliness, and less stuff are getting more and more attention these days and are being heralded as important for success and happiness. When I started thinking about how this whole idea is related to my balance of life roles, it became clear that de-cluttering is probably a healthy goal for me, as well.

For the sake of full disclosure, I should note that I come by de-cluttering pretty naturally. My mom is the type of person who lives by the mantra, “If you haven’t used it in 6 months, you don’t need it.” I can remember my dad turning the house upside down in search of some item that he hadn’t used in several years, but discovered that he needed just then. Nine times out of ten, mom had tossed it. So whether it is a nature or nurture influence, growing up in a clutter-free home probably makes that feel more comfortable to me now.

Piles of stuff and general clutter at home or in my office make my skin crawl. I find that I cannot be productive if my surroundings aren’t at least somewhat organized. If I can’t find stuff, I won’t get anything accomplished. Now, that certainly does not mean that I am always de-cluttered. Take a look at my home office desk right now and you’ll see a pile of papers that desperately needs sorting. The same goes for the pile of clean laundry sitting in my bedroom. Life happens and clutter grows. But taking a few extra minutes here and there to keep most of it at bay is sometimes the difference between productivity and lost energy for me; between balance and imbalance.

There are a few things that I have learned through personal experience or from organizational experts over the years that have helped me to de-clutter things in my life. These tips may be helpful to you, too:

1. Every thing has a place. If you own something that doesn’t have a place that it belongs, then perhaps you don’t need it. If you have a place for it, keep it there. After you finish using it, immediately put it back. If you put it down with plans to put it away later, it likely won’t happen.

2. Sort through mail and other paperwork as soon as they come in your house. Designate a time and place to do this where you can immediately recycle the junk mail, file the bills to be paid, and put away any other important paperwork. Keep folders or boxes for things like children’s schoolwork that you want to keep, and a to-do file for things like bills that need to be addressed soon, but not necessarily right now.

3. Finish a task before starting another one. This is where a lot of my clutter builds up. I start some laundry, and in the midst of putting it away, get distracted and start working on an art project with my child. The laundry is still out, and now so are the art supplies. Take a couple of minutes to finish what you’re doing to keep clutter from even starting.

4. De-clutter your email. I am a minimalist when it comes to email, both professionally and personally. When I am going through my inbox, every message gets action when I read it. I either address it immediately (respond to the sender or complete a task), put it in a short-term to-do file (for later that day or week), put it in a long-term to-do file (to be addressed in a week or longer), or delete it. If I don’t have time to address it in one of these ways right then, I don’t open it.

5. Do a sweep once a day. Pick a time each day that you have 3-5 minutes to sweep through your house (or office). Take that time to put away those things that aren’t in their place, sort through paperwork, or complete a task. This is not the time to do major organizing, but rather to do a clean sweep so things look less cluttered and more inviting.

Being able to balance my various roles requires some pretty detailed organization most days. Having a lot of clutter around me costs precious time that I just don’t have. I’d much rather spend any extra time I have in quality interaction with my family or friends, not in de-cluttering.

What are your thoughts about clutter? What tips to you have to keep it at bay and maintain balance?

Fantasies

photo by rankun76

We are very excited to welcome Dana, a working mother, wife, and an industrial-organizational psychologist, back to our blog. Dana agreed to participate in the blog on monthly basis. All of us will get a chance to learn from sincere and very practical insights Dana shares based on her path of finding a balance in her life.

The past year and a half I have taken a crash-course in balance. Through trial and error (mostly error), I have unearthed some implicit beliefs that were preventing me from finding a happy balance in my life. Two such “fantasies” reared their ugly heads at me most recently.
Since finishing grad school nearly seven years ago, I have worked as an independent contractor for a management consulting company. I have always had the benefit of being a telecommuter (a fancy word meaning “one who works in pajamas”), except for when I traveled for business. In addition to having a flexible job location, the autonomy afforded by being self-employed also gave me some flexibility in terms of when I did my work. When I became pregnant, I became even more grateful for my work situation.

After my son was born, I continued to work from home (minus the travel) and reduced my hours to part time. Having never had a child before, I thought since I was “only” working part-time with such a flexible arrangement, it would be a breeze to fit in 20 hours a week while also being a full-time mother. It would be more economical, certainly – and as a first time mom and with no family nearby, I couldn’t imagine handing him over to a stranger. And, of course, there was supermom syndrome: I thought I should be able to do it all.

So, for the first sixteen months of my son’s life, I juggled work and motherhood without the help of family or even a sitter. I worked when he napped (poorly), I worked when he went to sleep (intermittently) for the night, and I worked on the weekends when my husband could take over (which, I should add, he wasn’t able to do for the first year, because on nights and weekends he was working on completing his dissertation). A more experienced parent sees the punch line already: very quickly I became burnt out. I was chronically sleep-deprived, my marriage was being woefully neglected, and I was overwhelmed with everything I felt I had to do (and do well).

This brings me to the first fantasy that prevents many of us from achieving balance: that we can do it all. That we should be able to do it all. That we shouldn’t need help. Overcoming this fallacy is incredibly difficult, but breaking free of it is liberating. Asking for help allows you to accept that you are human. Although the imperative to “do it all” came from only one place – within me – I also resented feeling like I had to do it all, and turned that resentment on other people. When I was able to let go of the need to be omnipotent, I was also able to let go of a lot of resentment.

So, finally accepting that I needed help, I hired a sitter to come to my house several mornings a week, thereby giving myself 15 hours of protected work time, which would theoretically allow me to avoid working nights and weekends. I was absolutely giddy with the thought of it – I felt like all of the things that threatened to overwhelm me were about to just melt away. I thought this would somehow “make it all better.” Not surprisingly, it didn’t – it just changed things. To be sure, in some ways things changed for the better – for example, my husband and son and I get to spend more time together on the weekends and I regularly get seven hours of sleep. But other challenges cropped up: whereas before I took care of errands, chores, and cleaning and the like with my son in tow, now I needed to find the time to get them done when I wasn’t working…like on nights and weekends.

Which brings me to the second fantasy preventing us from finding balance: that time is something we can make more of. Avoiding for the moment the philosophical argument about the nature of time and whether it is a mental construction or a “real thing,” the important thing to realize about time is that you cannot make more of it. It is impossible. We can only use the time we DO have in the best way possible. What the best way is depends on us – on our passions, strengths, or priorities. As I thought about this, I realized there are three ways to go about making the most of your time:

• Doing less – what do you not like doing? What do you do that doesn’t help you achieve anything important to you? Spending time cleaning her house soothes my sister – but for me, it is just an irritating fact of life. This is definitely an activity that doesn’t further any of my big-picture life goals! So I started looking into hiring a cleaning service. Delegation is a way of doing less – especially if you have already overcome the first fallacy and are ready to ask for help.


• Doing more – what do you like doing but don’t dedicate enough time to? What activities will help you achieve your big-picture goals if you devoted more time to them? I decided to use the time I would otherwise spend cleaning on things that satisfy my soul and make me happier and healthier, like reading and cooking really good meals, and I’m going to accept my husband’s offers of help and go for long runs on the weekends. These activities give me greater enthusiasm and energy, which helps me be positive and productive overall.


• Being strategic – what do you have to do that you could do more efficiently or effectively? I plan a weekly menu and go grocery shopping every Sunday, which not only saves time and money, it also helps ensure we eat well. I even try to be strategic in setting up for the morning and doing laundry – little ways of being organized minimize frustration and chaos.

The past two months have taught me that I can’t do it all – and that it is silly to even try. I am striving to be more willing to accept help, so that I can focus on what is important and meaningful to me, and to be more thoughtful about where I put my energy.

What are some underlying beliefs you hold that prevent you from feeling balanced? Are you able to readily accept help when necessary? Are there things that you could do less, more often, or more strategically?

Delicious Raspberry Thumbprints: Healtier Version

photo by lepiaf.geo

What can be better than a batch of delicious cookies on a cold snow day? I would say the only thing that can make cookies better if they are a little healthier. Often, I take the recipe and modify it to make it healthier yet still extremely pleasing. Here you go:

Dough:

1,5 cups of whole-wheat flour

1/2 cup of organic butter or earth balance vegetable margarine, softened

1/4 cup of turbinado sugar

1/2 egg yolk

2 tablespoons of orange juice

Preparation:

1. Into large bowl, measure flour, butter, sugar, orange juice and egg yolk. With mixer at medium speed, beat ingreadients until well mixed, occasionally scraping bowl with rubber spatula. Cover and refrigerate about 1 hour.

2. Preheat oven to 375 F.

3. Shape rounded teaspoonful of dough into balls. Place 1 inch apart on cookie sheets.

4. Press thumb into centers of cookies, making deep indentations.

5. Bake 10 minutes.

6. Remove from oven and with 1/2 cup organic or lower sugar raspberry (apricot or strawberry) preserves fill indentations.

7. Bake 5 minutes more; immediately remove and cool cookies on racks.

Makes approximately 50 cookies.

Enjoy with a cup of hot tea!

More Efficient Grocery Shopping

Photo by J-P-F

An important part of the juggle for anyone with multiple roles is food. Meal-planning, budgeting, and cooking take up considerable amounts of time and energy, and have significant influence on how we balance other things in our lives. Here on :simple:balance:, we have talked about some of the reasons why nutrition is so important, and also more logistically about the benefits of being organized and prepared with meals. One aspect of food that we have not touched on and that I sometimes find myself dreading is grocery shopping.

When I am running into the supermarket to pick up something quickly, it is inevitable that I will have difficulty finding what I need or that I will get caught up in a slow check-out line. When I am in a rush already, these experiences just irritate me more and make the whole event something that I dread the next time I have to go. Over the years, I have discovered a few tips that make the trip to the grocery store more pleasant and more efficient. Here are some of my ideas:

1. Always, always start with a list. Not only will this save you time, but it will also save you money. Keep a list of the items that are “usual” buys for you – things that you need and use week to week. When you use the last of an item from your pantry or refrigerator, put a check mark next to that item on the list, letting you know that you will need to buy this at the market the next time you go. Someone once suggested to me that I organize this list so that the items on the same aisles in my grocery store are grouped together on the list. This has been a huge time-saver for me! I do much less back-and-forth in the store and am able to go through my list in the same order that I go through the store. It has shortened my shopping trips by at least half. (Another tip I have found helpful: put refrigerated items at the end of the list so you get them last. You won’t have melted ice cream nearly as often this way!)

2. Limit your shopping to once a week, at the most. I used to run to the store several times per week to buy items for a meal here and there. This was a huge waste of time… and gas! Now, I plan out meals for at least a week and buy items once that will last throughout those days. I know some people who shop every other week or every month, which saves even more time, but I personally buy a lot of fresh produce; I typically need to replenish that weekly, so this schedule works for me. It is amazing how relaxed it feels to know you have what you need at home and don’t have to make a trip to the store after a long day at work.

3. Choose one or two stores to do most of your shopping at. I used to pick up items at multiple stores, either because someone was having a sale, or I knew that a favorite food was only available at one place. While I still do this at times, I try to limit my shopping to one or two places regularly. I am a huge fan of local farmers’ markets and co-ops, and when available, will do as much of my shopping at these places as I can. But I won’t try to chase down a bargain a the local pharmacy, then jump across town to pick up produce, and then move to the grocery store for the rest of my items. I save time, gas, and money by limiting where I go.

4. Don’t go shopping when you are hungry… or tired, or emotionally drained. We all have heard the recommendation to shop for food when you are satiated, so that you don’t needlessly buy things you don’t need just because your stomach is rumbling. This same suggestion fits for any other type of situation in which you don’t feel well or are just plain exhausted. The shopping trips I make after work are usually my most dreaded. I am tired, hungry, and usually just want to get home and cook something, rather than fight my way through a store to find what I need. I have started shopping either on the weekends when I have a little more time, or during my lunch break at work. (I keep a small cooler in my car for these trips so that my food stays fresh until I get home later that evening). Approaching a task like grocery shopping requires me to be my best, which I am not when I am overly tired or hungry.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t always loathe shopping for food. Quite the opposite is true, actually. I often enjoy perusing the aisles at a favorite market and finding new ingredients that I haven’t tried before or searching for ideas for new recipes. When I don’t have much time, which is usually the case during the work week, shopping is not something that I do for enjoyment, though. The suggestions provided above can be used whether you are in a rush or during those times when your shopping trip is more of an excursion. Even when I’m shopping for enjoyment, though, I don’t like to waste time. So I use the techniques above to make the experience more efficient, allowing for more time to enjoy the process, or to get home to start cooking.

Either way, the key is pleasure! Food is meant to be savored, explored, and enjoyed. If obtaining the food is a miserable process, we will be less likely to do it and, therefore, less likely to partake in healthy, fulfilling meals. So keep it simple, keep it balanced, and enjoy the process. What tips do you have for keeping your grocery shopping efficient?

Scent and Music Can Bring More Balance Into Your Life

Photo by Dennis Wong

Sometimes when I feel stressed or out of balance, I think I need to do something major. Although, I would love to take a few weeks off my work and family responsibilities, it is not always possible. I have realized that I benefit tremendously from some little things I can do along the way to help myself unwind and reduce some of the pressure that I have accumulated. Along with my practice of meditation and yoga, I find that something as simple as a pleasant smell or a relaxing music can reduce stress, elevate mood, energize us and even help us sleep better. There is a lot of research that is being done on the effects of aromas and music on reducing or eliminating many medical conditions. Do you find that music and aromas help you to feel more balanced? Here are few suggestions that work for me:

• Notice what time of the day or what days of the week you get the most stressed out and tense and introduce either a relaxing aroma or music during that time. For example, on my way from work, I unwind by listening to my favorite CD and even singing along. I noticed that by the time I get home, I am much more relaxed and ready for the family part of the human experience.


• If you have a lot on your mind and have a hard time falling asleep, try inducing your favorite scent in your bedroom. For example, I love sandalwood incents or you can buy a little oil burner and find the essential oil that relaxes you most. Of course, simple candles work very well too. Interestingly, if you find a scent that really works for you, you will be able to condition your mind-body to relax as soon as the smell is on. For example, if lavender is relaxing and you used it to relax or meditate, next time you smell lavender in a different environment, it will quickly induce the relaxation state for your mind and body.


• Don’t forget, you can perform a self-massage with your favorite oil. To save money, I use organic sesame oil (not toasted) with a few drops of lavender. You can even warm it up by putting it in hot water. And no, you are not going to feel too oily. It is extremely nourishing and moisturizing for your skin especially during dry winter months. If you are still worried about feeling too oily, perform an oil massage before the bath in the evening or a shower in the morning. Finally, if you don’t have time, massage your feet and your head with a little bit of oil. I do it before I go to bed and feel that I sleep much better when it is done.


• Put together a relaxing music mix that you can take with you on your trips, walks or just listen at home. I have to travel a lot for work, so I downloaded a great iPhone application has everything from mini-meditations to music therapy that make me feel more at ease when I am on the road.


• Instead of watching a lot of TV at night, listen to a relaxing music, enjoy a relaxing scent in your room and read something pleasant. You will be amazed at how well you sleep and how great you feel the next day.

Are you ready to have a little music therapy session? Take a deep inhale, exhale, close your eyes and listen to the sound of the rain and have your worries wash away.

Looking for a cool aromatherapy gift for your significant other? Check out how you can enjoy the pleasant smells as you work on your computer.

An Exercise in Thinking

Photo by INoxKrow

Psychologists and other mental health professionals will tell you that the way we feel and behave is intimately tied to the way we think. We often focus on the events or experiences of our lives as being instrumental in influencing our feelings and actions, but it is really our perception of those events that matters most. Let’s look at an example:

Event: Mary is due for a raise at work and is notified that she will not be getting one this year.
Thoughts: “I deserve this raise”; “If I had done [x,y,z], I would have gotten this raise”; “My boss does not like me”; “I am not going to be able to pay my bills”; “I am worthless”
Feelings: Anger, Anxiety, Sadness
Behaviors: Skip work the next day; Consider quitting her job; Approach her boss aggressively and ask why she did not get the raise; Isolate from co-workers and friends

This may be a common scenario, especially in this economy when many people and businesses are struggling financially. So let’s consider how Donna, another employee at the same company has responded to the same situation:

Event: Donna is due for a raise at work and is notified that she will not be getting one this year.
Thoughts: “My not getting a raise is not because I don’t deserve one, but because the company cannot afford it this year”; “I am just grateful that I still have a job”; “I will be able to adjust my budget in order to continue making my bill payments”; “I am worthy”
Feelings: Frustration, Relief, Calm
Behaviors: Approach her boss calmly and ask if there is anything she can do to help the company so that raises will be an option next year; Continue working diligently; Re-work her personal budget to meet her needs; Stay connected with co-workers and friends and seek support

Can you see the distinct difference between these two outcomes? It involves the same initial situation, but the women’s responses, both emotionally and behaviorally, are starkly different. And the reason for that is likely their perceptions of the situation, or the way they are thinking about it. Yes, Donna still feels frustrated, understandably, but because she thinks realistically about her situation, she is also able to feel some relief and behave accordingly.

It is common for us to have automatic responses to events, either positive or negative, without recognizing how our thoughts are influencing us. Therapists use cognitive therapy to help people evaluate their thoughts in certain situations, and challenge them when necessary, in order to have a more positive outcome. As we can see in our example above, Mary’s response to not getting a raise is likely going to continue making her feel badly, as well as potentially influence her to do something that will hurt her career and future. On the other hand, Donna’s approach is more positive, more realistic, and will likely lead her to further success. Imagine if you are these women’s boss; in a tough economy, which of these women are you going to be more likely to keep on staff and reward when you are able?

We are all faced with difficult situations, whether they are related to finances, relationships, jobs, and much more. While it is natural to have negative emotions and behaviors sometimes, it can be helpful to stay mindful of how our thoughts are affecting us. If what we are thinking isn’t realistic or helpful, those thoughts will quickly take us down a path that we don’t want to be.

Try this exercise this week: When you have a strong emotional response to something that happens (good or bad), take a minute and ask yourself a few questions:

- What does this situation mean to me?
- What is going through my mind?
- What am I thinking or remembering right now?
- What am I imagining might happen in this situation?

Take your answers to those questions and start to identify what your thoughts are. Then evaluate how realistic or healthy they are for you, and make changes when appropriate.

We are often our best critics. The problem, however, is that we often don’t give ourselves the opportunity to evaluate our responses. It is likely that with more accurate and healthy thinking, we will all feel much more balanced, and also look for the positive, even in negative situations. Balancing multiple roles presents a multitude of challenges and difficulties; if we can stay focused on the benefits, however, we will feel better and act more healthily. Try it out and tell us what you think!