:simple:balance:

Taking Breaks

2010-08-02T20:55:00.003-04:00

Photo by FrozenQ8

You may have noticed that we have been absent from :simple:balance: over the last few months. (And if you are someone who noticed, THANK YOU for being a faithful reader!). Things have been quite hectic in our lives and in those of our contributing writers, so this space has recently been neglected. It's certainly not surprising that folks like Maggie and me, who have such an interest in work-life balance, would ourselves lead very busy lives. And as you likely are, we are constantly seeking ways to get it all done and feel a sense of balance through the busyness.

One of the things that I am learning, both through my own experience and through listening to and watching others, is that sometimes finding balance means letting things go. And quite honestly, that's what has happened here. Other things have taken priority – our day jobs, families, health, and the like – and so blogging has had to take a temporary back seat. That's not to say that these past few months have been all whirlwind. Our break from :simple:balance: has also coincided with some much-needed vacations, time outside in the garden, and connecting with friends and loved ones. All of it is important and all of it contributes to our daily, monthly, and lifelong nourishment. And, as with most things, when something steps up the priority ladder, something else must step down.

I have to say that I have missed :simple:balance: during this break. I always find motivation and inspiration from our guest writers and in the comments from you, our readers. And doing the research and writing for my own posts is also an endeavor for me to keep learning and implementing healthy changes in my own life. I have come to really enjoy this little space, and so I have felt the void these last few months. I have also learned a lot about myself and my own sense of balance during this time. While :simple:balance: and the connections with other folks like yourself are important to me, I currently have other things in my life that have to come first.

We hope to be back here soon with new content, ideas, and thought-provoking posts. So please don't give up on us! But until then, we encourage you each to take stock of your own lives. Do you need a break from anything in your life that is currently taking time and energy that you don't have? Is it time to re-assess your priorities and determine what should and needs to come first?

Let us be your example and permission to do just that. Take a break from something, drop something down the priority list, and use some of your leftover time for a task or relationship that you've neglected. After all, achieving simple balance does not mean "doing/having it all." It means finding comfort in the ebb and flow of life – vacations and breaks definitely included!

Blooming Mindfully

2010-06-30T16:55:00.005-04:00

photo by Casey Conerly

We have been away for almost a month dealing with our work-life balance or in my case with some imbalances. We are very happy to introduce a guest writer, Casey Conerly. She is the owner of Conerly Productions (public relations and voice messaging services). She is also a songwriter, photo bug, garden piddler, yoga nut, spiritual seeker, one-time surfer girl. Enjoy!

I have enjoyed watching my summer garden get its bloom on this year; appreciating the beauty in each step of the process. What a magical journey from budding to bloom; and becoming. No rushing; fully present, alive and beautiful each step of the way. I think we could all learn a thing or two from nature, as we strive to keep our lives in balance each day.

For me, awareness is the key to balanced living. To be fully present and engaged allows you to see every moment of your life and appreciate it. I find that when I am rushing; or my mind is in the past or the future, it causes stress. And, I miss what is going on right now. Awareness helps you stay in touch with your feelings as you go about your day and can help you catch yourself before you are suddenly wondering why you want to eat a half gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

Each one of us is unique. What brings you peace and joy, what drains you, what energizes you? Self awareness will help you create the balance you need. I know that being in nature is a de-stressor for me. After I have been working at my computer for awhile, I will go outside in my garden to see what is new, breathe in the air and disconnect from work for just a few minutes.

When you are mindful, you are in balance with the universe. If you work on it over time, and create space for the things you love, your life will be much more harmonious. If you have too much going on in your life, decide what is truly important; and simplify. Simplicity allows more space in your life. Leave yourself some breathing room.
When I am present and aware in each moment, I notice much less stress, I make clearer decisions, and I have an underlying sense of peace and joy. Mindfulness allows me to bloom slowly, taking in each precious moment of the journey.

Hope you will have a wonderful 4th of July with many mindful moments.

Can Chaos Be a Blessing?

2010-05-06T22:01:00.002-04:00

Photo by nickwheeleroz

This morning, I read this post on the Wall Street Journal's blog, The Juggle, which is dedicated to stories and information about balancing life's various roles. (I highly recommend the site, by the way, and often find motivation and entertainment in the posts there). The title of today's post, "Living a Full Life by Embracing the Chaos," is what caught my attention. After all, doesn't that idea sum up my own approach to work-life balance and the goal of finding balance for myself?

We all know that trying to find a sense of balance in the chaos of life can be a struggle. I'm sure we can all relate to The Juggle author's rendition of her own chaos which involves childcare, a job with hard deadlines, travel, a marriage, and a menagerie of other responsibilities. Yet, the idea of choosing to embrace the fact that all of those responsibilities may clash and conflict with one another is new to many of us.

I often hear friends and acquaintances describing their life situations from a negative perspective, and admit that I do it myself too:

"I am overwhelmed at work."
"I just don't know how to make more time for my kids and family."
"Down-time for myself? That must be a joke!"

It is easy to focus on the feelings of anxiety or sadness we feel when life seems out of control because those are the feelings that often most present. However, if we choose – actively make a choice – to look at and think about our lives from a different perspective, doing so can make a world of difference in how we feel.

The Juggle author described what some might perceive to have been a day or two from hell – all of her well-laid plans went out the window and unexpected challenges presented themselves from the left and right. I can imagine myself feeling overwhelmed in such a situation, and when thinking about it or describing it to someone else, honing in on all that went wrong. But as she described, her own perspective was a bit different. Rather than feeling defeated by the chaos, she looked at all that she had on her plate and realized that having all of those things meant she was living a "full life." The fact that she could have so much chaos in her life meant that she had a lot of blessings to be thankful for.

I wonder if we all could take a lesson from her experience and perspective? And maybe make a conscious choice to look at our own chaos from another angle: focusing on the fact that all of our life roles, responsibilities, and blessings are what cause the chaos to happen sometimes? It sure seems like it could make difference in our experiences, and make us focus more on gratitude and less on struggle.

How might you try to incorporate this idea today?

Staying in Tune

2010-04-28T14:39:00.005-04:00

photo by Hamed Saber

We are very happy to have Dana back with us sharing her wisdom on staying in touch with yourself and knowing when you need to slow down. Enjoy!

I run to stay balanced. It helps me manage my stress, stay healthy, and get some all-too-precious “me time.” I was recently reminded, however, that it is possible to get too much of a good thing.

I recently trained for and completed my first half marathon. I have been a recreational runner since grad school, and I started running again about a year ago after a few years’ hiatus. Because I am goal-oriented by nature, my slow twenty minute jogs gradually turned into speedy hour-long excursions, and then on a whim I decided to sign up for this race. Unfortunately, about two weeks before the big day I caught a bug that I couldn’t seem to kick. I finished the race, but my performance wasn’t what I had hoped, and the incessant rattle in my chest made it hard to breathe – which can make a thirteen-mile run seem interminable! It took me two weeks of complete rest to beat it. This experience got me thinking about how we know when we are out of balance.

I am very rarely ever sick, and when I do get sick, it is usually a briefer and less severe version of what is going around, so for me to be ill so long was a clear message to me from my body that I had gone astray. In my quest to meet my goal, I had bulldozed my way through rather than heeding my body’s requests for me to slow down. Paradoxically, being so focused on my goal that I ignored the signs of imbalance deprived me of the ability to achieve my goal.

I imagine that the average reader of this blog is seeking life balance strategies because they have a tendency to do too much versus too little. I envision people who are possibly over-achievers or Type-A personalities (in other words, people like me). The external world rewards us for achievement, so it is easy to lose sight of the need to slow down from time to time to tune in, take stock, and adjust where necessary.

Unfortunately, I think we can easily become like the proverbial frog in a pot of boiling water – we don’t realize how off-kilter we have become until things reach a boiling-over point. Any time we take on too many responsibilities or activities we risk spreading our energy too thinly, which has the potential to lead to physical, cognitive, emotional, social, and behavioral consequences. Getting sick, feeling run down, and experiencing recurring muscular tightness or headaches are often your body’s way of trying to get your attention. Mental signs of imbalance may include being forgetful, or having a hard time disengaging from certain thought patterns (e.g., worrying, list-making). Emotional signs might include feeling irritable, anxious, or blue. Or maybe you find yourself wanting to retreat from family and friends, or being uncharacteristically being snappish, argumentative, or grumpy. Other people find that they eat or drink too much and stop carving out time for healthy activities like exercise or meditation. Self-awareness allows us to appreciate the subtle signs that we need to adjust before getting “out of whack.”

Once I tuned in (ok, so I had to be hit over the head with it), I realized I would need to focus on self-care for a while to set things to right – to let the pendulum swing far in the opposite direction in order to get back to a healthy state of equilibrium. I got a massage and spent my time going on slow walks with my family instead of waking up before dawn to run. I talked about my experience with friends. In the end, I was grateful for the experience, because it reminded me how wise my body is – how powerful it can be when I listen to it and treat it kindly. I was also reminded that although it is satisfying to set and achieve a goal, sometimes life intervenes to foil the best laid plans (or training schedules), and it isn’t the end of the world. The most important part of the race was seeing my family there to meet me at the finish line.

Mixed Berry Cobbler

2010-04-23T13:22:00.004-04:00

Photo by kangotraveler

What can be better than a healthy version of a delicious berry cobbler? Here is a great recipe. Try it and enjoy with a scoop of frozen yogurt or organic vanilla icecream.

Ingredients:

6 cups of frozen or fresh mixed berries (e.g., blackberries and strawberries)

4 cups of oats

1/2 cup or less of soften butter or coconut oil

1,5 cups of brown sugar

1 cup of toasted silvered almonds

3 tablespoons of cornstarch mixed with 3 tablespoons of water to form slurry.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Place the berries and sugar in a medium size pot on the stove over medium low heat. Cook the berries and 1 cup of sugar until the sugar is dissolved and the berries have started to get soft.

Add 2 cups of oats and continue to cook the berries.

Once the oats are soft, add the cornstarch slurry and stir until incorporated.

Remove from the heat and pour into a 9x13 glass casserole sprayed with pan spray.

In a separate bowl mix together the remaining 2 cups of oats, 1 cup of almonds, 1/2 of a cup of brown sugar and the butter or coconut oil- this should form a crumbly crust

Sprinkle the crust over the berries evenly.

Bake for 10-15 minutes until the curst is just a little crispy and the cobbler is warmed all the way through.

Enjoy your weekend!

Balance During Times of Illness

2010-04-18T14:51:00.003-04:00

Photo by Josh T. Hudson

I have been absent from :simple:balance: for the past few weeks while I have dealt with some health issues. Luckily, the blog has gone on without me, thanks to Maggie and some wonderful guest writers, whom we can all count on for thought-provoking posts and ideas for finding balance in many arenas of our lives. I have been reading, myself, and trying to apply some of what I've learned.

I have also done a lot of thinking about how to find balance during times of illness - this concept has been on my mind in recent weeks as I've struggled myself to accomplish all I need to, but also take care of myself. And I've noticed folks around me with similar challenges during this time of allergies and other seasonal illnesses. I was reminded of this post, originally published on October, 22 2009, that highlights some of the most important things to take into account. I thought it was prudent to re-consider these ideas, and to open up discussion to you all again for further insights. Here's to good health!

In theory, if we follow healthy recommendations for hand-washing, good nutrition, and other ways of avoiding germs, we should be illness-free this season. But we all know that the inevitable happens, and the chances are that most of us will end up feeling under the weather (or being impacted by someone else who does) at some point this year.

Being sick puts a wrench in the juggle of life and work and really makes finding balance even more difficult. Not only do we feel badly, but we also can’t keep pace with our usual, finely tuned schedule. Responsibilities pile up, phone calls and emails remain unanswered, and the stock of canned soup in the pantry disappears. Or perhaps we aren’t the ones who are sick, but rather someone close to us (e.g., child, partner, friend) or someone we are dependent on (e.g., child caretaker, co-worker) is. Any of the above scenarios can wreak havoc on balance, so it is vital to have a game-plan with some ideas for how to handle an illness scenario. Here are some suggestions:

1. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Sure, we can never be completely ready for illness when it strikes, but if we do some preparation and thinking beforehand, we might feel more able to cope when it comes. (There will be things like chronic illness or catastrophic injuries that are life-changing and are impossible to predict, but here we are talking more about run-of-the-mill fevers and flus.) Think about and plan for the following:

:: If you have children, how will your childcare be impacted by illness in the family? If you are sick, how will they get to school? How will they be cared for while you are bed-ridden? If they are sick, who will stay home with them? How will they get to the doctor? If someone is contagious, how will you try to prevent the spread of germs at home? If your childcare provider is sick, do you have a back-up?

:: Do you have supplies on-hand for illness? Medications, food, drinks, and other supplies are very important during times of illness, and not having them readily available can be a problem. The last thing you want in the middle of the night is to realize your thermometer isn’t working while you have a feverish, crying baby! Take stock of what you have, throw out anything that is expired or not working properly, and re-stock. Keep some comfort items around, as well – special teas, heating pads, a good magazine, and the like can make a day in bed a bit less miserable.

:: How will you notify your job if you have to be out because of illness (your own or a loved one’s), and how will your duties be covered? It is always helpful to have a contingency plan for this sort of thing. Keep telephone numbers or email addresses with you that you can use to contact your boss or someone else at work. Have a general plan for how your duties will be covered, recognizing that every scenario won’t be predictable.

2. Organize yourself. As mentioned above, keeping supplies on-hand at home and contact information for anyone who would be impacted by illness is important. Have this information stored somewhere that is easily accessible (e.g., address book, cell phone), and notify another reliable adult in your life of where it is, in case they need to access it if you are not able to.

3. Know how your sick leave (or lack thereof) works at your job. While laying in bed with a fever and stomach ache is not the time to talk with your human resources department about your benefits. Understand what you need to do administratively if you have a sick family member that you are caring for. Know how you should request time off for unexpected illnesses. Similarly to preparing for responsibility coverage at your job, having an understanding of how your time off is managed is helpful to know ahead of time.

4. Stay home if you are sick! We have all heard this before, and most of us have probably shown up at the office anyway. I know I have. The truth is (I can now say retrospectively) that we are NOT productive when we are sick. Yes, we may be able to make a few phone calls or send some emails that will get things done… but in the process we are potentially making ourselves worse, and we are certainly spreading germs to others. Other people around you do NOT want you to be at work when you are sick. Sometimes , folks around us are more susceptible to illness or have conditions that they have not publicly shared. So while you think you are just carrying around a cold, realize that your illness could be life-threatening to someone else. Keep your germs to yourself and avoid spreading them!

5. Ditto #4 for your kids and other loved ones. Don’t let children go to school sick and encourage a spouse or friend to stay at home. Even if it means more stress for you temporarily.

6. Listen to your body and rest. I can’t tell you how often I have gotten sick after a particularly stressful time in my life; my body was definitely communicating with me in those situations. When our lives are out of balance, we suffer emotionally and physically, and our immune systems are compromised. We have talked before about ways to prevent that from happening, but when it does, take note and give your body what it needs: rest. You will heal faster and be able to get back to your juggle sooner and more effectively if you actually take the time to relax.

This list of suggestions is certainly not exhaustive. We are interested in hearing from you too. What helps you to maintain balance while coping with illness?

2010-04-07T11:12:00.003-04:00

Photo by jeffreyw

Celebrate the temporary - don’t wait until tomorrow.
Live today. Don’t wait until all the problems are solved.
You will wait forever.
Eternity will come and go and you will still be waiting.
Stop grieving the past. There is joy and beauty in today.
It is temporary - here now and gone - so celebrate it while you can.
Celebrate the temporary.

~Clyde Reid

We are thrilled to have Sue Knight back with us. Enjoy the wisdom of the moment that she wrote about!

At lunch last week, my colleagues asked why I like volunteering for Hospice. They got me thinking about springtime, lifetime, and how “the temporary” keeps me in balance.
I cherish taking walks in the springtime. Spring changes more rapidly than winter. In winter, the tree branches stand stark against the sky; beautiful, yes, but pretty much the same from day to day. Spring is different – the first colors peek out early, and they don’t last. The flowering seems to go from nothing to spectacular to gone in the blink of an eye. The leaves aren’t there, and then they are, tiny and chartreuse; and then almost overnight they’re thick and dark green. It’s easier to pay attention in the spring; and not just because new delights are arriving daily. It’s also because they won’t last.

I cherish too volunteering for hospice, which involves spending time with families in the last six months of a member’s life. While supporting their quality of life is my priority, I always gain much more than I give. Those who know their time in life is short pay better attention. They have a razor-sharp sense of what matters, and what doesn’t. Sometimes patients want to talk about these things; other times the lessons come from sitting quietly with them, helping their caregivers, or playing a game of Backgammon and knowing it may be their last. Of course, there is sadness when someone I’ve come to know and care about is gone; but that only strengthens my gratitude for having had the opportunity to share such special moments with them. I’ve developed a ritual whenever I leave a patient’s home: Gazing toward the sky, I drink in everything in sight, and realize how awesome – and temporary – this lifetime is.

So, springtime walks and hospice volunteering remind me of the temporariness, and sweetness, of life. Here are some other ways. Focus on:

Your breath. Even a minute of focus can bring your attention to the air entering and leaving your body. Try this: Observe your breath without attempting to alter it while silently saying “in” with each in-breath, “out” with each out-breath. Notice the creative pause between in and out; it’s the continual ending and new beginning for all of us.
This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Making the most of your vacation from eternity. No matter what their specific beliefs, most people agree that the hereafter is probably very different from this human existence. So……why not consider life as a brief vacation from that bigger picture, and enjoy it to the fullest?
One sense at a time. This is the opposite of multi-tasking! As you go about your day, alternate awareness of sight, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting. For example, while changing the sheets, begin by focusing just on what you see – the bed, the room, the linens, your own arms in motion. Then, move your attention to touch - the sensation of the cloth between your fingers, your feet on the floor. Next, attend to what you hear – the rustle of the bedclothes, the birds outside, music, the fan. Focus completely on each temporary moment, one sense at a time.

Colors and dimensions (Be as one suddenly born into color. Do it now. ~Rumi) Pretend your world unexpectedly includes color or a third dimension. Watching a black-and-white movie or removing your glasses during a 3-D movie can help you experience the world in a new way when you come outside.

New ideas help us all keep celebrating the temporary, and that helps us keep a balanced life. What celebration strategies can you share?

Get in Synch!

2010-03-24T15:47:00.003-04:00

Photo by Noel Zia Lee

We are so happy to welcome back Aundrea Tucker, who is a Holistic Health Counselor. Spring is a great time to get back in touch with nature and its rhythms. Learn about how alignment with natural rhythms can bring more balance into your life. The suggestions shared by Aundrea are very consistent with the wisdom of Ayurveda (5,000 year old healing system from India) that we periodically share on our blog. Enjoy the spring!

Nature thrives on cycles based on its own internal rhythms, such as the annual cycle of the seasons and the harvests. When we observe nature, we find that the same cycles we see in the seasons appear in microcosm in the course of a single day. The more closely we can align our own circadian rhythms with the natural flow of the daily cycle, the more we will feel as if we are floating downstream instead of swimming upstream.

Spring: 6:00am – 10:00am - Muscles get stronger
Summer: 10:00am – 2:00pm - Digestion stronger
Winter: 2:00pm – 6:00pm - Nervous system activates
Spring: 6:00pm – 10:00pm - Metabolism lowers for sleep
Summer: 10:00pm – 2:00am - Liver is activated for cleansing
Winter: 2:00am – 6:00am - Cortisol levels increase

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

How would you feel if you went to bed at midnight and woke up at 10:00am? Perhaps groggy, stiff or dull. What about if you went to bed at 8:00pm and woke up at 6:00am? Probably chipper! In both instances you would have slept the same amount – 10 hours – and the only difference is when you went to bed and when you woke up. The same principle applies not only for sleeping, but eating as well. When we follow nature’s rhythms, we invariably end up merrily rowing downstream. Muscles are also strongest in the morning, and it is the best time for vigorous exercise.

The Noon Meal

The hottest part of the day, when the sun is climbing to its zenith, is the summer time of the day and when the digestive fires are at their hottest. This is the ideal time to consume a meal large enough to provide fuel for the rest of the day. Try resting on your left side for 5-10 minutes after your meal to facilitate digestion.

Afternoon Brain Waves

In the four-hour period that follows lunch, the body is primed for heavy mental activity. The brain uses about 80 percent of the body’s glycogen, or energy supplies, during this time. If you ate too little at lunch, or at while driving, rushed or distracted, you may feel sleepy, listless or crave emergency fuel.

Sunset

After the sun sets, digestion and cortisol levels go down, making it difficult to digest a large dinner. A smaller, supplemental (“supper”) meal is ideal around 6:00pm. If you are unable to exercise in the morning, the second best time to workout is after your supplemental meal at 6:00pm. Toward 10:00pm, the body begins to rest and relax as it gears down for sleep.

Night Crawlers

If you observe yourself for a few nights between 7:00 and 9:00pm, you will probably notice a pleasant drowsiness come over you. If you force yourself to stay up, you may get a burst of energy after 10:00pm that will keep you up into the wee hours. The purpose of increased metabolic activity during this time is to clean blood and repair damaged tissue. If you are awake, changing the world and having midnight snacks, you miss out on this crucial internal cleansing time. Internal cleansing can also be affected if your body is still trying to digest a large evening meal; resources slated for cleansing have to be diverted to digestion.

Spiritual

The very early morning between 2:00 and 6:00am is believed to be most conducive to prayer and meditation in many spiritual traditions, both Eastern and Western. A lightness and quickness characterizes this time; when you arise around 6:00am, you are likely to take on those characteristics, which will balance out the natural heaviness of morning.

Let us know if you experience any of the benefits of being in synch with the nature!

Balancing Time in Our Minds

2010-03-16T13:34:00.002-04:00

Photo by mrMark

Dana, who holds responsibilities and benefits of being a mother, a wife, an empoyee and many more roles, is back with us to share some wisdom around our perceptions of time and its role in our perceptions of balance. Enjoy!

Since I started writing for this blog more regularly, I have become even more attuned to life balance issues. I find myself contemplating more deeply certain ideas that are intrinsically related to the concept of balance, such as the nature of time and the mind. Much of what we experience with regard to balance (or imbalance) hinges on the concept of time – what we do with it, having “enough” time, and so on. Just as in an outward, behavioral sense we can be out of balance in how we use the time allotted to us (spending too much time doing things we shouldn’t do or don’t want to do and too little time doing things we should do or do want to do), we can misuse time in our minds as well.

It is a unique quality of the human mind that we can effortlessly think about the past, present, and future. Some of us spend a lot of time thinking about the past – reliving moments we enjoyed, rehashing negative experiences in the attempt to make sense of them or in futile hope that we can mentally undo them. Others of us spend a lot of time thinking about the future – making plans, anticipating upcoming events with eagerness or dread. Yet others really live in the moment, relishing the experience of the here and now or avoiding thinking about the past or future.

As with most things, being balanced between the past, present, and future is key to success and happiness in life. Thinking about the past can not only be pleasant (in the case of fond memories), it is an important method for uncovering patterns in our behavior over time. We can use the greater self-awareness this affords to change our behavior in the present and future. It is also possible, however, to be too nostalgic of the past at the expense of truly experiencing the present or preparing for the future. And while it is healthy to conduct “post mortems” on things that went wrong, going over them again and again in our minds without achieving peace or closure on them can be psychologically harmful.

Likewise, while our ability to envision and plan for the future is a necessary and important for us to survive and thrive, if we spend more mental time in the future than the present, we risk losing the teachings of the past and the blessings of the present. Chronic over-achievers and Type-A personalities, people who try to “do it all,” are rewarded with spending a great deal of time planning for the future and setting goals, but this can come at a price.

Lastly, it is possible to spend too much time focused on the here and now if it leads us to fail to capture “lessons learned” from our past experiences or adequately prepare for the future. We can become like the grasshopper of The Ant and the Grasshopper fable – idly enjoying the pleasantness of the moment without preparing for the challenges the future will bring.

The vast majority of us, however, probably spend too little time truly in the current moment. When we are only half attending to what we are doing in the moment because we are busily thinking about what we will do next or what we did the day before, we are operating on autopilot – in other words, not really there. When we school ourselves to really drop in and “be here now,” our experience of life is so much more vibrant and rich. Having our minds focused on one place in time at once helps us respond to life’s moments with awareness and grace. It is also a gift we give to ourselves and the people we spend our time with to be fully present.

One valuable tool for keeping yourself in the present is to focus on your physical experience. As the saying goes, “There is no time but the present.” Our experiences of the past and future are purely mental – we aren’t literally IN the past or future like we are in the present. Taking the time throughout the day to really feel what it feels like to be in your body, in your environment, in that moment can keep us grounded and engaged. Literally stop and smell the roses on your walk from your office to your car; focus on enjoying the taste and textures of your meal instead of wolfing down your food while multi-tasking; get down on the floor with a child or pet and look in their eyes and touch their hair; mentally scan your body from top to bottom – what does it feel like to you be you right now?

Where do you tend to spend the most of your “mental time”? Why? What are the consequences? What can you personally do to achieve balance on this dimension?

Stress-Free Moving

2010-03-12T11:42:00.003-05:00

We are getting ready to move into a house. Sounds very exciting, right? It is! But with the excitement comes the stress of packing, unpacking, finding movers, paying for movers, and the list goes on and on. I guess the title should have been “How to make moving a less stressful experience?” so we can enjoy and welcome this change into our lives. Of course, research shows that we need a little bit of stress (u-stress) to get us going and motivated, too much however, will actually hinder our performance. Here are a few things that I am implementing into my life to help with this exciting transition and keep myself from getting too ‘excited’:

To do lists are so helpful these days. We put one on the fridge, so both my husband and I can see what we need to do in the next few weeks. Start it as soon as your offer got accepted on a house.

Pack one box at a time. The idea of packing all at once was too overwhelming for me, especially since I travel a lot. I took a risk (possibility that we don’t close) and started quite soon after our offer was accepted. I would only pack one box a night. It would give me a sense that I have accomplished something that night, yet I could still focus on my regular activities.

Use packing as an opportunity to do some spring cleaning. This feels very energizing and exciting for me. I started a donation pile, recycled a lot of old magazines, coupons, papers, expired drugs. It feels freeing not to be moving all that with us.

If you want to sell some items, don’t forget to use internet (Ebay, Craig’s list) in addition to or instead of the traditional yard sale. I was able to sell all my curtains that I cannot use in the house on ebay. I think I did get rid of them a little too early, because one of the rooms has been having a beautiful echo (due to emptiness) for a few weeks now.

Use moving opportunity to bring something new into your life. It can be anything from a new organization of your space to switching to more eco-friendly living. One of my obsessions has been trying to get rid of as much plastic as possible in my kitchen (especially). So, I have been looking for ways to get rid of plastic tupperware and substituting at least some pieces to glass ones.

Keep yourself energized by activities that bring you pleasure about the new place of living. For example, we walked to our new house a few times a week and tried to experience what it would be like to live there. We thought about ideas for improving the backyard. Finally, we went to a bookstore one night and browsed a few books for decoration ideas.

Take it slow. Once you do get a lot of energizing ideas, you may feel an urge to change everything at once, which is a recipe for disaster and may be quite costly. Instead, enjoy the beauty of doing things slowly and seeing your place evolving over time. My goal is to take some time to choose things for our home. It will save us money and I will be able to get to know the personality of my house or even contribute to it.

Elicit the help of others. It is amazing how much more fun and faster packing, unpacking, painting goes if you have your friends/family around you. Some pizza and drink will all you need to have a moving party.

Did I miss anything? If so, please share, because I can definitely benefit from some suggestions.

Creole Flavored Black Bean Burger

2010-02-23T14:51:00.003-05:00

photo by alt10trader's

I am always searching for some easy yet delicious vegetarian recipes. This weekend I tried a delicious Black Bean Burger and the chef shared a recipe that I would love you to try. Serve this burger with a green salad and a side of sweet mashed or roasted potatoes (you will be delighted by the rainbow of colors on your plate). Enjoy!

Yields 6 to 8 burgers

2-15 oz cans of black beans drained

1/2 onin diced

1/2 red pepper diced

1/4 tsp Braggs amino acid; Tamari or Soy Sauce

1 tbsp of cilantro chopped

1/4 cup of bread crumbs

Dash of hot sauce

2 tsp of Creole or cajun seasonings

3 cloves of garlic minced

Salt and Pepper to taste

Mash beans together in a large bowl, add all other ingredients and mix weel, from into patties and saute over medium heat for about 3 minutes per side or until warm or spray gril with cooking spray and gril until warm through turning often.

1 patty - Calories 285; total fat 1g, saturated fat 0 g, cholesterol 12 mg, sodium 214 mg, carbohydrates 32 g, dietary fiber 6g, protein 7 g

De-Cluttering

2010-02-21T13:48:00.003-05:00

Photo by Thrift Store Addict

When I was thinking about my new year’s resolutions this year, I did some reading on-line, and came across a lot of people who had identified de-cluttering as a goal. Simplicity, orderliness, and less stuff are getting more and more attention these days and are being heralded as important for success and happiness. When I started thinking about how this whole idea is related to my balance of life roles, it became clear that de-cluttering is probably a healthy goal for me, as well.

For the sake of full disclosure, I should note that I come by de-cluttering pretty naturally. My mom is the type of person who lives by the mantra, “If you haven’t used it in 6 months, you don’t need it.” I can remember my dad turning the house upside down in search of some item that he hadn’t used in several years, but discovered that he needed just then. Nine times out of ten, mom had tossed it. So whether it is a nature or nurture influence, growing up in a clutter-free home probably makes that feel more comfortable to me now.

Piles of stuff and general clutter at home or in my office make my skin crawl. I find that I cannot be productive if my surroundings aren’t at least somewhat organized. If I can’t find stuff, I won’t get anything accomplished. Now, that certainly does not mean that I am always de-cluttered. Take a look at my home office desk right now and you’ll see a pile of papers that desperately needs sorting. The same goes for the pile of clean laundry sitting in my bedroom. Life happens and clutter grows. But taking a few extra minutes here and there to keep most of it at bay is sometimes the difference between productivity and lost energy for me; between balance and imbalance.

There are a few things that I have learned through personal experience or from organizational experts over the years that have helped me to de-clutter things in my life. These tips may be helpful to you, too:

1. Every thing has a place. If you own something that doesn’t have a place that it belongs, then perhaps you don’t need it. If you have a place for it, keep it there. After you finish using it, immediately put it back. If you put it down with plans to put it away later, it likely won’t happen.

2. Sort through mail and other paperwork as soon as they come in your house. Designate a time and place to do this where you can immediately recycle the junk mail, file the bills to be paid, and put away any other important paperwork. Keep folders or boxes for things like children’s schoolwork that you want to keep, and a to-do file for things like bills that need to be addressed soon, but not necessarily right now.

3. Finish a task before starting another one. This is where a lot of my clutter builds up. I start some laundry, and in the midst of putting it away, get distracted and start working on an art project with my child. The laundry is still out, and now so are the art supplies. Take a couple of minutes to finish what you’re doing to keep clutter from even starting.

4. De-clutter your email. I am a minimalist when it comes to email, both professionally and personally. When I am going through my inbox, every message gets action when I read it. I either address it immediately (respond to the sender or complete a task), put it in a short-term to-do file (for later that day or week), put it in a long-term to-do file (to be addressed in a week or longer), or delete it. If I don’t have time to address it in one of these ways right then, I don’t open it.

5. Do a sweep once a day. Pick a time each day that you have 3-5 minutes to sweep through your house (or office). Take that time to put away those things that aren’t in their place, sort through paperwork, or complete a task. This is not the time to do major organizing, but rather to do a clean sweep so things look less cluttered and more inviting.

Being able to balance my various roles requires some pretty detailed organization most days. Having a lot of clutter around me costs precious time that I just don’t have. I’d much rather spend any extra time I have in quality interaction with my family or friends, not in de-cluttering.

What are your thoughts about clutter? What tips to you have to keep it at bay and maintain balance?

Fantasies

2010-02-16T10:09:00.003-05:00

photo by rankun76

We are very excited to welcome Dana, a working mother, wife, and an industrial-organizational psychologist, back to our blog. Dana agreed to participate in the blog on monthly basis. All of us will get a chance to learn from sincere and very practical insights Dana shares based on her path of finding a balance in her life.

The past year and a half I have taken a crash-course in balance. Through trial and error (mostly error), I have unearthed some implicit beliefs that were preventing me from finding a happy balance in my life. Two such “fantasies” reared their ugly heads at me most recently.
Since finishing grad school nearly seven years ago, I have worked as an independent contractor for a management consulting company. I have always had the benefit of being a telecommuter (a fancy word meaning “one who works in pajamas”), except for when I traveled for business. In addition to having a flexible job location, the autonomy afforded by being self-employed also gave me some flexibility in terms of when I did my work. When I became pregnant, I became even more grateful for my work situation.

After my son was born, I continued to work from home (minus the travel) and reduced my hours to part time. Having never had a child before, I thought since I was “only” working part-time with such a flexible arrangement, it would be a breeze to fit in 20 hours a week while also being a full-time mother. It would be more economical, certainly – and as a first time mom and with no family nearby, I couldn’t imagine handing him over to a stranger. And, of course, there was supermom syndrome: I thought I should be able to do it all.

So, for the first sixteen months of my son’s life, I juggled work and motherhood without the help of family or even a sitter. I worked when he napped (poorly), I worked when he went to sleep (intermittently) for the night, and I worked on the weekends when my husband could take over (which, I should add, he wasn’t able to do for the first year, because on nights and weekends he was working on completing his dissertation). A more experienced parent sees the punch line already: very quickly I became burnt out. I was chronically sleep-deprived, my marriage was being woefully neglected, and I was overwhelmed with everything I felt I had to do (and do well).

This brings me to the first fantasy that prevents many of us from achieving balance: that we can do it all. That we should be able to do it all. That we shouldn’t need help. Overcoming this fallacy is incredibly difficult, but breaking free of it is liberating. Asking for help allows you to accept that you are human. Although the imperative to “do it all” came from only one place – within me – I also resented feeling like I had to do it all, and turned that resentment on other people. When I was able to let go of the need to be omnipotent, I was also able to let go of a lot of resentment.

So, finally accepting that I needed help, I hired a sitter to come to my house several mornings a week, thereby giving myself 15 hours of protected work time, which would theoretically allow me to avoid working nights and weekends. I was absolutely giddy with the thought of it – I felt like all of the things that threatened to overwhelm me were about to just melt away. I thought this would somehow “make it all better.” Not surprisingly, it didn’t – it just changed things. To be sure, in some ways things changed for the better – for example, my husband and son and I get to spend more time together on the weekends and I regularly get seven hours of sleep. But other challenges cropped up: whereas before I took care of errands, chores, and cleaning and the like with my son in tow, now I needed to find the time to get them done when I wasn’t working…like on nights and weekends.

Which brings me to the second fantasy preventing us from finding balance: that time is something we can make more of. Avoiding for the moment the philosophical argument about the nature of time and whether it is a mental construction or a “real thing,” the important thing to realize about time is that you cannot make more of it. It is impossible. We can only use the time we DO have in the best way possible. What the best way is depends on us – on our passions, strengths, or priorities. As I thought about this, I realized there are three ways to go about making the most of your time:

Doing less – what do you not like doing? What do you do that doesn’t help you achieve anything important to you? Spending time cleaning her house soothes my sister – but for me, it is just an irritating fact of life. This is definitely an activity that doesn’t further any of my big-picture life goals! So I started looking into hiring a cleaning service. Delegation is a way of doing less – especially if you have already overcome the first fallacy and are ready to ask for help.

Doing more – what do you like doing but don’t dedicate enough time to? What activities will help you achieve your big-picture goals if you devoted more time to them? I decided to use the time I would otherwise spend cleaning on things that satisfy my soul and make me happier and healthier, like reading and cooking really good meals, and I’m going to accept my husband’s offers of help and go for long runs on the weekends. These activities give me greater enthusiasm and energy, which helps me be positive and productive overall.

Being strategic – what do you have to do that you could do more efficiently or effectively? I plan a weekly menu and go grocery shopping every Sunday, which not only saves time and money, it also helps ensure we eat well. I even try to be strategic in setting up for the morning and doing laundry – little ways of being organized minimize frustration and chaos.

The past two months have taught me that I can’t do it all – and that it is silly to even try. I am striving to be more willing to accept help, so that I can focus on what is important and meaningful to me, and to be more thoughtful about where I put my energy.

What are some underlying beliefs you hold that prevent you from feeling balanced? Are you able to readily accept help when necessary? Are there things that you could do less, more often, or more strategically?

Delicious Raspberry Thumbprints: Healtier Version

2010-02-13T08:38:00.003-05:00

photo by lepiaf.geo

What can be better than a batch of delicious cookies on a cold snow day? I would say the only thing that can make cookies better if they are a little healthier. Often, I take the recipe and modify it to make it healthier yet still extremely pleasing. Here you go:

Dough:

1,5 cups of whole-wheat flour

1/2 cup of organic butter or earth balance vegetable margarine, softened

1/4 cup of turbinado sugar

1/2 egg yolk

2 tablespoons of orange juice

Preparation:

1. Into large bowl, measure flour, butter, sugar, orange juice and egg yolk. With mixer at medium speed, beat ingreadients until well mixed, occasionally scraping bowl with rubber spatula. Cover and refrigerate about 1 hour.

2. Preheat oven to 375 F.

3. Shape rounded teaspoonful of dough into balls. Place 1 inch apart on cookie sheets.

4. Press thumb into centers of cookies, making deep indentations.

5. Bake 10 minutes.

6. Remove from oven and with 1/2 cup organic or lower sugar raspberry (apricot or strawberry) preserves fill indentations.

7. Bake 5 minutes more; immediately remove and cool cookies on racks.

Makes approximately 50 cookies.

Enjoy with a cup of hot tea!

More Efficient Grocery Shopping

2010-02-09T22:30:00.003-05:00

Photo by J-P-F

An important part of the juggle for anyone with multiple roles is food. Meal-planning, budgeting, and cooking take up considerable amounts of time and energy, and have significant influence on how we balance other things in our lives. Here on :simple:balance:, we have talked about some of the reasons why nutrition is so important, and also more logistically about the benefits of being organized and prepared with meals. One aspect of food that we have not touched on and that I sometimes find myself dreading is grocery shopping.

When I am running into the supermarket to pick up something quickly, it is inevitable that I will have difficulty finding what I need or that I will get caught up in a slow check-out line. When I am in a rush already, these experiences just irritate me more and make the whole event something that I dread the next time I have to go. Over the years, I have discovered a few tips that make the trip to the grocery store more pleasant and more efficient. Here are some of my ideas:

1. Always, always start with a list. Not only will this save you time, but it will also save you money. Keep a list of the items that are “usual” buys for you – things that you need and use week to week. When you use the last of an item from your pantry or refrigerator, put a check mark next to that item on the list, letting you know that you will need to buy this at the market the next time you go. Someone once suggested to me that I organize this list so that the items on the same aisles in my grocery store are grouped together on the list. This has been a huge time-saver for me! I do much less back-and-forth in the store and am able to go through my list in the same order that I go through the store. It has shortened my shopping trips by at least half. (Another tip I have found helpful: put refrigerated items at the end of the list so you get them last. You won’t have melted ice cream nearly as often this way!)

2. Limit your shopping to once a week, at the most. I used to run to the store several times per week to buy items for a meal here and there. This was a huge waste of time… and gas! Now, I plan out meals for at least a week and buy items once that will last throughout those days. I know some people who shop every other week or every month, which saves even more time, but I personally buy a lot of fresh produce; I typically need to replenish that weekly, so this schedule works for me. It is amazing how relaxed it feels to know you have what you need at home and don’t have to make a trip to the store after a long day at work.

3. Choose one or two stores to do most of your shopping at. I used to pick up items at multiple stores, either because someone was having a sale, or I knew that a favorite food was only available at one place. While I still do this at times, I try to limit my shopping to one or two places regularly. I am a huge fan of local farmers’ markets and co-ops, and when available, will do as much of my shopping at these places as I can. But I won’t try to chase down a bargain a the local pharmacy, then jump across town to pick up produce, and then move to the grocery store for the rest of my items. I save time, gas, and money by limiting where I go.

4. Don’t go shopping when you are hungry… or tired, or emotionally drained. We all have heard the recommendation to shop for food when you are satiated, so that you don’t needlessly buy things you don’t need just because your stomach is rumbling. This same suggestion fits for any other type of situation in which you don’t feel well or are just plain exhausted. The shopping trips I make after work are usually my most dreaded. I am tired, hungry, and usually just want to get home and cook something, rather than fight my way through a store to find what I need. I have started shopping either on the weekends when I have a little more time, or during my lunch break at work. (I keep a small cooler in my car for these trips so that my food stays fresh until I get home later that evening). Approaching a task like grocery shopping requires me to be my best, which I am not when I am overly tired or hungry.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t always loathe shopping for food. Quite the opposite is true, actually. I often enjoy perusing the aisles at a favorite market and finding new ingredients that I haven’t tried before or searching for ideas for new recipes. When I don’t have much time, which is usually the case during the work week, shopping is not something that I do for enjoyment, though. The suggestions provided above can be used whether you are in a rush or during those times when your shopping trip is more of an excursion. Even when I’m shopping for enjoyment, though, I don’t like to waste time. So I use the techniques above to make the experience more efficient, allowing for more time to enjoy the process, or to get home to start cooking.

Either way, the key is pleasure! Food is meant to be savored, explored, and enjoyed. If obtaining the food is a miserable process, we will be less likely to do it and, therefore, less likely to partake in healthy, fulfilling meals. So keep it simple, keep it balanced, and enjoy the process. What tips do you have for keeping your grocery shopping efficient?

Scent and Music Can Bring More Balance Into Your Life

2010-02-05T11:25:00.003-05:00

Photo by Dennis Wong

Sometimes when I feel stressed or out of balance, I think I need to do something major. Although, I would love to take a few weeks off my work and family responsibilities, it is not always possible. I have realized that I benefit tremendously from some little things I can do along the way to help myself unwind and reduce some of the pressure that I have accumulated. Along with my practice of meditation and yoga, I find that something as simple as a pleasant smell or a relaxing music can reduce stress, elevate mood, energize us and even help us sleep better. There is a lot of research that is being done on the effects of aromas and music on reducing or eliminating many medical conditions. Do you find that music and aromas help you to feel more balanced? Here are few suggestions that work for me:

Notice what time of the day or what days of the week you get the most stressed out and tense and introduce either a relaxing aroma or music during that time. For example, on my way from work, I unwind by listening to my favorite CD and even singing along. I noticed that by the time I get home, I am much more relaxed and ready for the family part of the human experience.

If you have a lot on your mind and have a hard time falling asleep, try inducing your favorite scent in your bedroom. For example, I love sandalwood incents or you can buy a little oil burner and find the essential oil that relaxes you most. Of course, simple candles work very well too. Interestingly, if you find a scent that really works for you, you will be able to condition your mind-body to relax as soon as the smell is on. For example, if lavender is relaxing and you used it to relax or meditate, next time you smell lavender in a different environment, it will quickly induce the relaxation state for your mind and body.

Don’t forget, you can perform a self-massage with your favorite oil. To save money, I use organic sesame oil (not toasted) with a few drops of lavender. You can even warm it up by putting it in hot water. And no, you are not going to feel too oily. It is extremely nourishing and moisturizing for your skin especially during dry winter months. If you are still worried about feeling too oily, perform an oil massage before the bath in the evening or a shower in the morning. Finally, if you don’t have time, massage your feet and your head with a little bit of oil. I do it before I go to bed and feel that I sleep much better when it is done.

Put together a relaxing music mix that you can take with you on your trips, walks or just listen at home. I have to travel a lot for work, so I downloaded a great iPhone application has everything from mini-meditations to music therapy that make me feel more at ease when I am on the road.

Instead of watching a lot of TV at night, listen to a relaxing music, enjoy a relaxing scent in your room and read something pleasant. You will be amazed at how well you sleep and how great you feel the next day.

Are you ready to have a little music therapy session? Take a deep inhale, exhale, close your eyes and listen to the sound of the rain and have your worries wash away.

Looking for a cool aromatherapy gift for your significant other? Check out how you can enjoy the pleasant smells as you work on your computer.

An Exercise in Thinking

2010-02-03T20:45:00.003-05:00

Photo by INoxKrow

Psychologists and other mental health professionals will tell you that the way we feel and behave is intimately tied to the way we think. We often focus on the events or experiences of our lives as being instrumental in influencing our feelings and actions, but it is really our perception of those events that matters most. Let’s look at an example:

Event: Mary is due for a raise at work and is notified that she will not be getting one this year.
Thoughts: “I deserve this raise”; “If I had done [x,y,z], I would have gotten this raise”; “My boss does not like me”; “I am not going to be able to pay my bills”; “I am worthless”
Feelings: Anger, Anxiety, Sadness
Behaviors: Skip work the next day; Consider quitting her job; Approach her boss aggressively and ask why she did not get the raise; Isolate from co-workers and friends

This may be a common scenario, especially in this economy when many people and businesses are struggling financially. So let’s consider how Donna, another employee at the same company has responded to the same situation:

Event: Donna is due for a raise at work and is notified that she will not be getting one this year.
Thoughts: “My not getting a raise is not because I don’t deserve one, but because the company cannot afford it this year”; “I am just grateful that I still have a job”; “I will be able to adjust my budget in order to continue making my bill payments”; “I am worthy”
Feelings: Frustration, Relief, Calm
Behaviors: Approach her boss calmly and ask if there is anything she can do to help the company so that raises will be an option next year; Continue working diligently; Re-work her personal budget to meet her needs; Stay connected with co-workers and friends and seek support

Can you see the distinct difference between these two outcomes? It involves the same initial situation, but the women’s responses, both emotionally and behaviorally, are starkly different. And the reason for that is likely their perceptions of the situation, or the way they are thinking about it. Yes, Donna still feels frustrated, understandably, but because she thinks realistically about her situation, she is also able to feel some relief and behave accordingly.

It is common for us to have automatic responses to events, either positive or negative, without recognizing how our thoughts are influencing us. Therapists use cognitive therapy to help people evaluate their thoughts in certain situations, and challenge them when necessary, in order to have a more positive outcome. As we can see in our example above, Mary’s response to not getting a raise is likely going to continue making her feel badly, as well as potentially influence her to do something that will hurt her career and future. On the other hand, Donna’s approach is more positive, more realistic, and will likely lead her to further success. Imagine if you are these women’s boss; in a tough economy, which of these women are you going to be more likely to keep on staff and reward when you are able?

We are all faced with difficult situations, whether they are related to finances, relationships, jobs, and much more. While it is natural to have negative emotions and behaviors sometimes, it can be helpful to stay mindful of how our thoughts are affecting us. If what we are thinking isn’t realistic or helpful, those thoughts will quickly take us down a path that we don’t want to be.

Try this exercise this week: When you have a strong emotional response to something that happens (good or bad), take a minute and ask yourself a few questions:

- What does this situation mean to me?
- What is going through my mind?
- What am I thinking or remembering right now?
- What am I imagining might happen in this situation?

Take your answers to those questions and start to identify what your thoughts are. Then evaluate how realistic or healthy they are for you, and make changes when appropriate.

We are often our best critics. The problem, however, is that we often don’t give ourselves the opportunity to evaluate our responses. It is likely that with more accurate and healthy thinking, we will all feel much more balanced, and also look for the positive, even in negative situations. Balancing multiple roles presents a multitude of challenges and difficulties; if we can stay focused on the benefits, however, we will feel better and act more healthily. Try it out and tell us what you think!

Mentors

2010-01-30T13:30:00.003-05:00

Photo by army.arch

I remember early in graduate school, several of our professors suggesting that as students, we seek a mentor. Having someone that we could look up to, confide in, and go to for support and information would be a vital part of our being successful professionally, they said. I listened to that advice and quickly sought someone out who served as my mentor early in my training and career and has continued to be a source of support since. I admire his professional success and respect his opinion on numerous topics. I have often gone to him with questions or concerns, and left our conversations with a clearer picture of how to proceed. Having such mentorship has been instrumental, I believe, in my success, career-wise.

Many of us look for mentors, either formally or informally. Whether they provide guidance for us professionally or personally, we often need their ideas, based on their own experience, to help us navigate the terrain of our lives. I realized recently, though, that I don’t have a mentor for a major part of my identity: working mother.

I grew up in a family in which my mother did not work outside the home, and chose instead to raise me and my siblings full-time. She did not pursue a career away from the home until later in life, after her “birds” were out of the nest. The same goes for most of my female extended family members, as well. I was not consistently around women who had both careers and families and placed importance on both roles. As such, this life of mine sometimes feels like new territory to me. I don’t really have a model in mind of how to make it work.

Not having a personal mentor has presented challenges for me. I have so many questions, like, “Will my daughter thrive or struggle because of her daily involvement in daycare?” “How do I know that a daycare setting is a good match for her?” “What can I do to make getting chores around the house done more efficiently when I have such limited time during the week at home?” “How do I balance the demands of my career with those of my husband’s career?” The list could go on and on, and the questions I wrestle with change from week to week. Like my professional mentor, I would really like to have someone to look to or talk with about these concerns. And to learn how someone I respect balanced a complicated life like mine successfully.

As I don’t have a role model, per se, for my working mother role, I have recently begun seeking out people whom I can learn from. Colleagues, friends, and acquaintances who are working mothers are a wealthy source of information and support. Sometimes I learn what I want to do in my own life by watching theirs, and sometimes I learn things that I don’t want to repeat. While I don’t have anyone close to me who has a completely similar situation to mine, I am mostly pulling bits and pieces where I can. I also seek support and knowledge from forums such as this one: blogs, websites, books, and other non-face-to-face interactions. I figure that the more information I soak up for myself, the more I’ll have to digest and use.

In addition, I hope to be a mentor and role model for my daughter. Of course, I hope she will make her own choices about the things she values and how she defines herself, and I realize that those may be very different from my own. But even if she won’t be able to get all the answers from me or if she chooses a different lifestyle than mine, I hope that she will learn from the process I am engaging in now. I hope that she will learn to seek her own mentors and support in her own way.

Since this has been a struggle of mine recently, I am curious to hear from others. Who do you look to as a mentor in your life? If you are like me and don’t have anyone in particular who is a model for your important roles, what resources do you use to help you make decisions and to find support?

A Few Suggestions on Starting Fresh with Your Diet

2010-01-27T09:14:00.004-05:00

photo by rysac1

Many of us would like to eat better, lose weight and feel more balanced when it comes to the food we consume. It is well known that food is a habit. Sometimes, it seems impossible to completely change our old habits. Instead, we can make a small change each week or month (or whatever time period seems reasonable to you). Here are a few suggestions that may be helpful to you along the way. Even if you take one or two, it may bring you closer to a balance:

Start with a food diary. Write down everything that you eat for a couple of weeks. It will only make a difference if you write down everything. Remember, this is for yourself and you need to be real in order to make a change. Next, evaluate what you eat based on the suggestions I have below.

Introduce a rainbow in your diet. Nature designed fruits and vegetables in different colors to let us know that there is an abundance of vitamins and minerals that we can gain from eating a multi-colored diet. For me, it is hard to remember what the effect of each fruit and vegetable is in terms of the nutritional support. For example, tomatoes and red grapefruit are full of lycopene which is known for being an antioxidant and anticarcinogenic. Broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower have isothiocyanates, which inhibit cancer growth. Instead of remembering all this, I like the idea of including as many colors as possible in a day or even a meal to ensure that my family gets the best nutritional support. This can be a perfect game for children: they can learn colors and have more fun eating fruit and vegetables.

Try a new fruit or vegetable each week. Eating healthy can be quite entertaining not only for children, but also for adults. One of my friends decided that each week she will try a new vegetable or fruit to make sure she introduces new nutrients into her body.

Six tastes. According to Ayurveda, a 5,000 year old healing system from India, you can get the most nutritional benefit and satisfaction out of your meal, if there are six tastes that are present in your food. These tastes are sweet (less refined sugar and more complex carbohydrates like whole wheat pasta, brown rice, quinoa, nuts and whole wheat breads); sour (sour fruits and vegetables, yogurt, cheese, pickles, vinegar, alcohol); salty (table salt, seafood, sauces, meat); bitter (e.g., green and yellow vegetables, green leafy vegetables); pungent (e.g., hot peppers, ginger, salsa, radishes, mustard, cloves, thyme, basil); and astringent (e.g., beans, legumes, lentils, pomegranates, cranberries, tea, dark greens). Each taste has a health function. Sweet taste builds tissues; sour promotes appetite and digestions; salty is mildly laxative and also promotes digestion; bitter is anti-inflammatory and detoxifying, pungent stimulates digestions, clears congestions, detoxifies; astringent is healing and provides lots of fiber. The typical American diet stops at the first three tastes - sweet, salty and sour (e.g., burger, salty fries and a pickle). As a result, many of us experience cravings. For example, if you are craving too much dark chocolate, you may not be getting enough bitter taste (e.g., green leafy vegetables). So, pay attention to your cravings and see if you can reduce them by introducing all six tastes. In old Indian households, the plate was divided into six portions to ensure that each taste was represented in the diet. It may seem like it would take a lot of preparation to introduce all the tastes, but you really don’t need to add a lot. For e.g., adding a leaf of basil and tomato to your sandwich can help with the pungent and sour tastes. If you cannot have all six tastes at each meal, try having them during the day.

Lunch should be the biggest meal of the day. This is another Ayurvedic piece of wisdom, which is very different from how the Western world operates, i.e., typically dinner is the largest meal. Around noon, when the sun is at its peak, our ‘digestive fire’ is the fastest. During that time we can metabolize and extract the most nourishment out of our meal. Try an experiment, have a bigger lunch and you may notice that you don’t want as much for dinner (e.g., a cup of soup may satisfy you in the evening).

Start using an appetite gauge with 1=starving and 10=stuffed before you decide whether or not it is time to eat. You should eat at 2=quite hungry and stop eating at 7=content. Overstuffing your stomach is similar to overstuffing your washer. When you put too much clothes, it is hard to wash it well. In a similar way, if you put too much food, it is hard to digest it well.

When you go out to eat, go ethnic. Not all, but most ethnic restaurants will have much richer foods (e.g., more vegetables) than the typical American cuisine.

As much as possible, eliminate FLUNC: Frozen, Leftovers, Unnatural, Nuked and Canned foods. The main purpose of food is to provide us with energy and information. How do you think the energy and information of apple that just came off the tree compares to an apple that has been processed, micro waved or canned? Of course, we cannot always eat fruit and vegetables from our garden. However, the closer you get to the source (e.g., apple tree), the more nutrients you will get from the food you are putting in yourself. When you have a choice to eat fresh or canned green beans, maybe you can lean towards using the fresher ingredient. If you do go with canned, try to use the organic version to reduce the number of preservatives and high amounts of sodium that are often present in many canned items. Leftovers of the food you prepared should be just fine for 2-3 days. The longer they are stored/frozen, the less nutrients they will have for you.

Read labels. Ideally, you want to buy as much organic food as possible. However, I realize it is expensive; that’s why I suggest as much as possible (stores like Trader Joes and even Wal-Mart carry some organic items at a reasonable cost). If you buy non-organic items, pay attention to labels. If there is an ingredient that you cannot pronounce, most likely it is not natural and can be quite harmful for you (e.g., carcinogenic).

The list above is not to overwhelm you but provide you with guidance. Even one or two suggestions can bring you closer to feeling healthier. Please share what has worked for you when you have tried a food-related change.

The Skinny on Natural Sweeteners

2010-01-22T21:26:00.003-05:00

Photo by CaliBeijaFlor

Maintaining health is a vital component of staying balanced. Not only to feeling balanced, physically, but also to having energy and strength enough, emotionally, to juggle life's challenges. Aundrea is back with us today to share her perspective on one way to make healthy choices for ourselves.

Did you know the average American consumes well over 20 teaspoons of added sugar on a daily basis, which adds up to an average of 142 pounds of sugar per person per year?! That’s more than two times what the USDA recommends and is proof of sugar’s addictive nature. Here are some tips on natural sweeteners, all of which are gentler than the refined white stuff, easier on the body’s blood sugar, and available in most health food stores.

Agave Nectar
Agave nectar is a natural liquid sweetener made from the juice of the agave cactus. It is 1.4 times sweeter than refined sugar, but does not create a sugar rush, and is much less disturbing to the body’s blood sugar levels than white sugar. Agave is high in fructose and some research suggests that fructose does not shut off appetite hormones, so you may end up overeating. When baking with Agave, reduce heat on oven by 25 degrees.

Barley Malt
Barley malt is made from the soaking, sprouting, mashing, cooking and roasting of barley. In this process, the carbohydrates are broken down into simple sugars, yet the final product is more of a whole food than many other sweeteners and capitalizes on the naturally present enzymes. Barley malt can come in the form of powder or syrup.

Birch Sugar
Also referred to as xylitol, this natural sugar substitute can be made from tree fiber or corncobs, and occurs naturally in many fruits and mushrooms. Birch sugar is sweet, yet low on the glycemic index, and can be used by those with diabetes and hypoglycemia. It has 40% fewer calories than sugar, prevents tooth decay, and repairs tooth enamel.

Birch Syrup
Birch syrup is also very low on the glycemic index and is rich in vitamins and minerals, including vitamin C, potassium, manganese, thiamine and calcium. This syrup is made from the concentrated sap of birch trees, and it takes 100 gallons of sap to make 1 gallon of syrup. Unlike maple syrup, which is composed of sucrose, this syrup is composed of fructose and is a gentler choice.

Brown Rice Syrup
This product consists of brown rice that has been ground and cooked, converting the starches to maltose. Brown rice syrup tastes like moderately sweet butterscotch and is quite delicious. In recipes, replace each cup of white sugar with ¼ cup brown rice syrup, and reduce the amount of other liquids. There is some glucose in syrup so diabetics should avoid using this sweetener.

Date Sugar
Date sugar consists of finely ground, dehydrated dates, utilizing this fruit’s vitamin, mineral and fiber content. If you like the taste of dates, this will definitely appeal to you. Date sugar can be used as a direct replacement for sugar and comes in a granulated form.

Erythritol
This sugar alcohol is a sweetener available in a powdered form. It is formed from the breaking down, fermenting, and filtering of sugar cane or corn starch. It has a cool taste that works well in coffee and tea. Erythritol doesn’t affect your blood sugar or cause tooth decay. The cons of this sweetener are it may cause gas, bloating and diarrhea if consumed in excess.

Honey
One of the oldest natural sweeteners, honey is sweeter than sugar. Depending on the plant source, honey can have a range of flavors, from dark and strongly flavored, to light and mildly flavored. Raw honey contains small amounts of enzymes, minerals and vitamins. Some vegans choose not to eat honey, as it is a byproduct of bees.

Maple Syrup
Maple syrup is made from boiled-down maple tree sap and contains many minerals. 40 gallons of sap are needed to make one gallon of maple syrup. It adds a pleasant flavor to foods and is great for baking. Be sure to buy 100% pure maple syrup and not maple-flavored corn syrup. Grade B is stronger in flavor and said to have more minerals than Grade A.

Maple Sugar
Maple sugar is created when the sap of the sugar maple is boiled for longer than is needed to create maple syrup. Once most of the water has evaporated, all that is left is the solid sugar. Maple sugar is about twice as sweet as standard granulated sugar, but much less refined.

Molasses
Organic molasses is probably the most nutritious sweetener derived from sugar cane or sugar beet, and is made by a process of clarifying and blending the extracted juices. The longer the juice is boiled, the less sweet, more nutritious and darker the product is. Molasses imparts a very distinct flavor to food. Blackstrap molasses, the most nutritious variety, is a good source of iron, calcium, magnesium and potassium.

Rapadura
This brand-name product is made from a process of extracting juice from the sugarcane plant, evaporating the water from the juice, and then grinding the results into a fine powdery texture. Rapadura is organic, rich in vitamins and minerals and unrefined.

Stevia
This leafy herb has been used for centuries by native South Americans. The extract from stevia is 100 to 300 times sweeter than white sugar. It can be used in cooking, baking and beverages, does not affect blood sugar levels, and has zero calories. Stevia is available in a powder or liquid form, but be sure to get the green or brown liquids or powders, because the white and clear versions are highly refined.

Sucanat
Short for Sugar Cane Natural, this brand-name product consists of evaporated organic cane juice made through a mechanical rather than a chemical process, and thus less refined, retaining many of the sugarcane’s original vitamins and minerals. It has a grainy texture and can be used in place of white sugar.

Vegetable Glycerin
Vegetable glycerin is a colorless, odorless liquid with a very sweet taste and the consistency of thick syrup. It is derived from coconut and palm oils. As a sweetener, it is ideal for candida patients because it does not contain sucrose.

Can Death Teach Us to Be More Balanced?

2010-01-19T13:43:00.005-05:00

phote by elbphoto
We all want to feel that we can control many things in our lives. There is at least one that we don’t have much control over – the death of our close ones. As you may have guessed, this topic came about because I recently experienced a death in my family. My 50-year-old cousin passed away. She was born with a heart condition that nowadays is easily cured, but she had to live with it. She was told she wouldn’t be able to live until 20, but her desire to live and experience life was stronger than any statistics that was offered by medical doctors. She was not supposed to have any kids, yet she got married and had a child who is 26 years old now! She continued to work (taught mathematics at a university) until her last weeks. She is an outstanding example of the desire to live, progress and constantly move forward. As I joined my family during the funeral and other related events, I had a few insights that I think will help me keep my life more balanced. I wanted to share them with you and maybe you can add anything that you learned in similar situations.

I was amazed at how close and real my family became during this time. It seemed liked there was no room for self-image, drama or scandals over little things. Everyone seemed much more genuine and sincere. I was worried about what to say to others in this situation. I trusted myself and gave up the idea of trying to come up with perfect words. I realized that there was no need to come up with anything to say. Words became such a small part of how we communicated support to each other. They were replaced by other signs of support like listening, hugging, crying, laughing and just being with each other. I hope I can preserve this sincere and simple perspective in my interactions with family, friends and everyone. I am grateful to my cousin for helping us bring out these qualities in ourselves.

As I was listening to friends and family talking about my cousin and how much she got to experience in her rather short life, I realized how often I wait for the perfect moment to do something. I am a planner, which is great, but I also realize (even more now) that you cannot plan for everything. How many of you keep postponing something because it is not the perfect time? When is the best time to have kids? Should I leave my job and pursue my passion in life? When is the best time to travel to a place I have dreamt about visiting? Sometimes, we need to step into the unknown or have a little push forward even if we do not feel entirely prepared. At some point, we may realize that there is never going to be a perfect time for anything and by waiting too long we may pass our opportunity for something that is important to us. I thank my cousin for reminding me that life is there for us to experience it.

My cousin had a few very close girl friends. Their friendship lasted for years. It has been so good to hear them share memories of their adventures together. One of the friends said that the death of my cousin was a reminder about the importance of finding time for your friends and family; getting together and appreciating the beauty of friendships and close relationships.

Finally, one of the natural questions in this situation is to wonder what happens to us after we die. The truth about it, aside from the fact that not many of us know for sure, is that it depends on what you believe in. I found a great book by Deepak Chopra, “Life After Death” that discusses a multitude of opinions based on many different religious and spiritual beliefs, philosophies, and scientific discoveries. It was interesting to acknowledge that at some level we are constantly in the process of death and rebirth. For example, I am not a little girl or a teenager any longer. Many cells in my body constantly die and renew themselves. It seems like ‘the wall’ between life and death is not as thick as we sometimes think.

I realize that my cousin is not physically with us. However, I feel her presence through the wisdom that I acquired. I am thankful to her for leaving this behind and for giving us a chance to renew ourselves while we are still physically alive.

More Soup

2010-01-16T13:55:00.003-05:00

Photo by myveggiekitchen

Here is another soup recipe to make your mouth water. Try it this weekend - it is simple, healthy, and can be saved for "must-goes" later in the week. Enjoy!

Tomato-Orange Soup

Makes 4 servings

Ingredients:
1/2 stick of unsalted butter (preferably organic)
1/2 medium onion, diced
2 14 1/2-ounce cans unsalted diced tomatoes with juice
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1 cup of fresh orange juice
1/2 cup whipping cream or half and half (preferably organic)

Instructions:
In a saucepan, melt butter, add onion and saute until translucent. Add tomatoes, salt, pepper, soda and thyme. Bring to boil, reduce heat and summer uncovered about 15 min or until slightly thickened.

Puree in a food processor or blender. Return to saucepan and stir in orange juice and cream. Bring to a simmer and adjust seasonings if necessary.

Serve hot and enjoy!

Ode to Soup

2010-01-12T20:37:00.004-05:00

Photo by The Pioneer Woman

I find that meal-planning is one of the most essential parts of my ability to find balance in my juggle during the week. Once the alarm goes off in the morning, it is like a gun goes off, and I’m up and running until my head hits the pillow again that night. Finding time to cook healthy meals in the midst of the daily race is very difficult in my house.

Eating well is so important, however, to staying healthy, feeling good, and nourishing myself and my family. When I eat on the go or indulge in something that isn’t healthy, I typically pay the price for it – sluggishness, lack of energy, and feeling very unbalanced. Running through a fast food drive-through or picking up take-out regularly just isn’t an option – not for my health or for my wallet. So that leaves home-cooking as the option I resort to most often, and with limited time, that can be a challenge.

Enter: SOUP, my newest obsession. During these cold winter months, a bowl of homemade soup is like nothing else to warm me and fill me up. I love the smell of a vegetable soup or chili simmering in the kitchen – there is something about the aroma that says “comfort” to me and instantly creates a sense of relaxation. Now, don’t get me wrong; I don’t have time to labor on homemade soup for hours a day or sit back and relax while it simmers on the stove very often. But what I do have time for is throwing some good stuff into the slow-cooker in the morning, and returning home to a warm bowl of goodness.

A few reasons why I’m so fond of soup these days:

1. The ease with which it can be made. I’ve pulled my slow-cooker out of the closet and am now putting it to use at least once a week. It is so simple to throw a bunch of yummy ingredients into the cooker, go to work all day, and return home in time to feed my family a healthy, soupy meal.

2. It can easily be made into large portions and frozen for future use. It isn’t uncommon for me to double or triple a soup recipe and freeze several bags of the good stuff to pull out in a few weeks when I need another quick, healthy meal.

3. You can put anything in it! I often clean out my pantry, fridge, and freezer by combining random ingredients with some vegetable or chicken stock, tomato juice, or other base, and voila! – SOUP!

One way I challenge myself creatively is to try out new recipes when I am able. With soups, this doesn’t seem too daunting. The recipes are generally simple and the final product is worthy of the challenge. This weekend I tried a recipe for Cauliflower Soup from the Pioneer Woman. (Side note: I have found many of her recipes to be simple and yummy, so I highly recommend looking through her site or cookbook when you have time.) My family gave it a thumbs-up, and we have plenty left over for “must-goes” this week (All this food “must go”…) and to freeze for another time. Now, this recipe is not for a slow-cooker, but from start to finish, it look me less than an hour to complete. Perfect for a weekend evening that is a bit slower-paced than the weekdays. Now, we have “must-goes” for tonight. Yummmm.

Prep Time: 30 Minutes Cook Time: 30 Minutes Difficulty: Easy Servings: 6

Ingredients
· 1 stick Butter
· ½ whole Onion, finely diced
· 1 whole Carrot finely diced
· 1 stalk Celery, finely diced
· 1 whole (to 2 Whole) Cauliflower Heads (roughly chopped)
· 2 Tablespoons Fresh Or Dried Parsley (chopped)
· 2 quarts Low-sodium Chicken Broth Or Stock
· 6 Tablespoons All-purpose Flour
· 2 cups Whole Milk
· 1 cup Half-and-Half
· 2 teaspoons To 4 Teaspoons Salt, to taste
· 1 cup (heaping) Sour Cream, room temperature

Preparation Instructions
In a large soup pot or dutch oven, melt 4 tablespoons butter. Add the onion and cook for a few minutes, or until it starts to turn brown. Add the carrots and celery and cook an additional couple of minutes. Add cauliflower and parsley and stir to combine. Cover and cook over very low heat for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, pour in chicken stock or broth. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and allow to simmer.
In a medium saucepan, melt 4 tablespoons butter. Mix the flour with the milk and whisk to combine. Add flour-milk mixture slowly to the butter, whisking constantly. Remove from heat and stir in 1 cup half-and-half. Add mixture to the simmering soup. Allow to simmer for 15 to 20 minutes. Check seasoning and add more salt or pepper if necessary.
Just before serving, place the sour cream in a serving bowl or soup tureen. Add two to three ladles of hot soup into the tureen and stir to combine with the sour cream. Pour in remaining soup and stir.
Serve immediately.

What are your go-to recipes that are simple, healthy, and time-efficient?

Irony in Balance

2010-01-08T21:01:00.003-05:00

Photo by Herorat

It really is pretty ironic that I would choose to start up a blog, write for it, and maintain it… and a blog on finding balance, “thriving in the juggle of life,” and doing it all simply at that! Wouldn’t staying simple and balanced typically mean excluding things from one’s life, rather than tacking more items on the to-do list… purposefully? Don’t I already have enough on my plate with family, work, and community responsibilities? Perhaps not. As I’ve thought about this place, :simple:balance:, my goals for being a part of it, and my hopes for what it will become, I find myself motivated and excited. The topic of balance is one that is so close to my heart and my everyday experience that it is always on my mind and a part of every decision I make. Which is why taking the time and energy to participate in this blog was not a haphazard whim. It was thought-out, prepared for, and organized. And the choice to move forward was based on my desire to find more balance in my own life and nurture a passion.

These aspects of my personality and activities that I am interested in need to be a part of my life, even if it means that things are more complicated by keeping them in the juggle. Balance for me means including those things that are important, not excluding them, even when it would mean life was simpler without them. So sometimes stretching myself and challenging myself to exert more time and energy is actually a form of self-preservation. Because if I let those particular things go, I would really struggle. :simple:balance: falls into that category for me right now. I truly have a passion for understanding life balance, sharing what I know, and learning from others. While I took a lot of time and forethought before diving into this venture with my friend, Maggie, I am grateful now that I have found an avenue for joy and fulfillment and an outlet for my creativity and interest.

So my reflections on this blog got me thinking about the overall picture – the grand scheme of balancing and juggling life’s roles. A few things came to mind, learned from my experience thus far here, that I think can be applied to any balance-related choice or decision:

1. Prioritize. We have talked about this before, but it is worth repeating again. Determine those things that fulfill you and nourish you, that are most important to you, and engage your energies there. Don’t waste time on the needless “shoulds,” but rather the “needs” or “wants.”

2. Understand that various roles enhance your life, not deplete it. Yes, the more time you give away to responsibilities, the less you will have left over. But the things you will gain can be more important: energy, joy, relationships, success, satisfaction… the list could go on. Maintaining this positive perspective can really carry you far.

3. Delegate. Enlist the help of other people who can support you in your roles. Rely on them and learn from them. I have forged relationships with guest writers here that I never would have known, had I not been involved with :simple:balance:. Their knowledge, experience, and camaraderie have been a wonderful addition to my life.

4. Don’t strive for perfection, especially in finding balance. As has been said here before, balance typically has an ebb and flow quality to it. Some days may feel more comfortable than others. As the old saying suggests, the journey is what is important, not the destination.

I value this blog, the knowledge I gain from being a part of it, and the support and motivation it nurtures. Thank you for your contribution, and please continue to visit. Leave a comment, send us an email, and share your ideas and thoughts. While I’ve added another thing to my to-do list by being involved, I have gained so much. I look forward to continuing to grow and learn with you.

What is Your Deepest Desire?

2010-01-05T22:17:00.004-05:00

photo by pedrosimoes7

For so many people, the beginning of the year is marked by a new page, a desire to start fresh and commit to new goals. I had never done New Year’s resolutions until last year. I always thought that people set them up, start out on the road to success, but after a few months, let go of their goals. For example, most of the gyms in the US experience an overload of cars during the early months of the year, and then by spring the number of people coming to get exercise dwindles. Despite this perception, I decided to try something new. At the end of 2008, I took some time and worked on my intentions for the year of 2009. I found that writing intentions really helped me become clear on what I want and what my potential next steps maybe. I grouped my intentions into several categories:

Relationships: What are some of the relationships that you would like to foster and/or maintain? Anyone that you don’t feel as connected to but would like to connect at a deeper level? What would be the first step in your attempt to enrich your relationships?

Community: What can you do to improve the quality of life for your local and global community? How can you help others? How can you contribute?

Material: Is there something that you really desire? How would it help you and others around you? What is your step in your attempt to move towards your desires?

Health: Are your experiencing a state of vibrant mental and physical health and balance? If not, what would you like your health to be like? What is one step that you can take towards your goal?

Career/Personal Growth: What are your career and/or personal growth aspirations? Are there some new skills you would like to learn? What is one step that you can take towards your desires to grow and learn?

I reviewed my intentions every week --- it only took 5 minutes. I also revised them and added to them based on what was happening in my life. It has been interesting to see which intentions I was able to fulfill and which ones I haven’t moved a dial on. Many of us have heard the expression, “energy flows where attention goes.” That is exactly what I experienced in terms of my intentions being fulfilled. If I consistently came up with the next step and then the next step for some of the goals, I saw them flourish and fulfill my life. Aside from being clear on what my desires are, I learned a bit about myself and my patterns in reaching or not reaching my goals. I think I will do the exercise of intentions again this year! I invite you to join me.

Do you write out your new year’s resolutions? If so, share what works for you.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-31T22:21:00.003-05:00

Photo by viZZual.com

Resolutions, goals, self-challenges: All of these words and similar phrases are swimming around in many of our heads and conversations this week. The new year brings a sense of freshness, newness, and the opportunity to start over. That is why many people choose January 1 as a time to implement goals for themselves and dive into a list of resolutions.

Renewal of oneself is a good thing. Re-evaluating priorities and setting goals is an exercise that we should do throughout the year, not just when the calendar turns over. Studies tell us that most of us, however, don’t make it past January maintaining success in those goals we set out to accomplish as “New Year’s resolutions.” The initial gusto and motivation quickly wane and we may be left with disappointment and a feeling of defeat. It is possible to keep those resolutions and reach those goals, however. We just have to be conscious about how we approach them and to be mindful of our motivations.

There are several strategies in setting and accomplishing goals that have been proven to ensure higher levels of success. I will outline those below, along with examples of how they may be implemented with a commonly set resolution at this time of year: getting healthy.

1. Define your goal in specific and quantifiable (or measurable) terms. What does “getting healthy” mean? What would your life or you look like if you were “healthy?” Perhaps it could mean:
- Lose weight: How much? And in what time-frame?
- Lower blood pressure (or blood sugar, or some other measure of health): To what level?
- Exercise: How often? What type?
- Eat well: What types of foods? How often?
The goals need to be measurable so that you will be able to determine if and when you have met them.

2. Break the overall goal up into smaller, realistic goals. Much like you did above in #1, the idea of “getting healthy” could entail many smaller goals. Even within those that identified above, however, you will need to identify even smaller steps. For example, if we look at losing weight:
- Set a goal weight that you would like to reach by the end of the year. Make sure this is a realistic number and one that is healthy for you.
- Now, back up from there and determine goal weights for each month between now and then. (Most health experts do not recommend setting weight loss goals for less than 1-month increments because trying to lose exorbitant amounts of weight in less time than that is not healthy.)
- Determine the steps you will need to take to reach each of those short-term goals.
As you can see, you could break your goals down further and further. Do this for all of the smaller goals you identified in #1. The purpose for doing this is to wind up with goals that are attainable. If your stated goal of “getting healthy” is all you have, that seems pretty nebulous and overwhelming. Having smaller, realistic, short-term goals allows you to see what you need to do to work towards that overall, long-term goal.

3. Gain support from loved ones and/or professionals. Talk with your healthcare provider, a nutritionist, exercise consultant, or other professionals who could help determine what goals are realistic and healthy for you. Also share your goals with family members and friends who will be supportive and help you work towards you goal. You may find someone who has a similar goal and would be willing to be a work-out buddy or lunch partner. That support is vital to success; it is not often that we succeed in reaching individual goals without some help along the way.

4. Write your goals down. Map out those short-term goals and write them down on paper. Post the steps somewhere prominent that you will see them and be able to remind yourself of what you are trying to accomplish. This list can also serve as a check-list where you can mark off where you have reached goals and remind yourself of the progress you are making.

5. Along the same lines as #3 and #4, make a public announcement of your goal. Often, we are embarrassed about the goals we have for ourselves because we don’t want other people to know what we may be struggling with. Publicly announcing your goal will make it more real, however, and also offer opportunity for support, as we noted above to be so important. For example, you could sign up for a local road race, pay the entry fee, and tell your friends about your goal in running it.

6. Reward yourself. When you attain a short-term goal, do something to reinforce your efforts and sustain your motivation. Perhaps when your blood pressure reaches your goal level, you could schedule a massage or borrow a new book from the library to enjoy. As humans, we respond most strongly to positive reinforcement; do something for yourself that rewards the hard work you have done. You will be more likely to keep it up.

7. Re-evaluate and redefine. After some time in working towards your short-term goals, look back at what you have accomplished and what you have left to do. Re-evaluate how realistic they are, redefine the short-term goals, and set new ones if appropriate. Sometimes the initial goals we set are just not effective for one reason or another; rather than giving up completely, a better solution would be to redefine them. Perhaps your initial goal was to exercise for 30 minutes, 3 days per week. After some time, you have accomplished that and realize that you would benefit from increasing the time you spend sweating every week. Maybe your new goal would be 45 minutes, 3 days per week.

8. Keep a positive attitude. Just setting your goals is a huge step towards progress and self-improvement. The task of evaluating your life and determining areas you would like to make improvement is not easy and merits a pat on the back. Success with resolutions requires taking small steps. Staying positive will ensure that you keep chipping away at your goal, despite set-backs and hurdles that are inevitable. Remember why you are doing this, what your overall goal is, and give yourself credit for making the attempt.

As the clock strikes midnight tonight, we all have a unique opportunity to shift focus and strive for something new. Think about what your resolutions might be and how they could help you to find balance in your life. Be realistic, be positive, and get started! Here’s to a simple and balanced 2010 - Happy New Year from all of us at :simple:balance:!

What goals, resolutions, or self-challenges are you setting for yourself this year?

Know Thyself

2009-12-29T20:31:00.004-05:00

Photo by Mommyof4Ruggies

It seems like every year is the same: despite careful plotting and planning, the time surrounding the holidays is incredibly stressful. Inevitably, a tight work deadline looms as clients try to get projects wrapped up before year’s end. This year, although I made my list and checked it twice, somehow I looked up and realized that the holidays were here. I had little time left to write cards, finish making homemade gifts, bake special treats, buy gifts, wrap, pack, make arrangements with the pet sitter, ship packages to far-off loved ones, and belatedly remember a little something for the babysitter. I said things to myself like, “I have too much to do” and “there is too little time,” which only heightened my frazzled state. Before long, Christmas carols became tedious, I became as snarly as the traffic, and there was frustration and irritability in the frosty air.

So again this year I was reminded – and reminded myself – that the language we use to describe our situations to ourselves has a profound effect on our emotional experience. When I remember to school myself, I instead choose to say, “There is so much I want to do” and focus on being grateful that I had so many wonderful people in my life that I wanted to acknowledge during this special time of year. I can almost feel the tension leave my back when I make this shift.

In a broader sense as well, the words and imagery we use impact our attempts to seek balance in our lives. We are complex creatures. Language and mental pictures are essential elements of our intelligence as human beings and shape the way we think. How we think in turn impacts how we feel. Thus, knowing how to shape how we think (meta-cognition, or thinking about thinking) has the potential to allow us to dramatically shape our life experience. In other words, we need to understand how we respond to words and imagery so that we can frame our experiences for ourselves in ways that encourage us to be positive and adaptive instead of throwing our hands up in the air in frustration and defeat.

Even the word “balance” has the potential to color our feelings, and, therefore, our behavior and experiences. Balance connotes striving to find a point of equilibrium between two extremes. It implies that the “happy medium” is somewhere between those poles. That is, it fully embraces neither, but is a compromise of sorts in between them. For some people, this term and image has the potential to create tension and frustration if it seems impossible to have, for example, both satisfying work and a fulfilling family life without sacrificing some of one or both. We also often use the analogy of juggling. This image may be more palatable to some, as it implies a dynamic, skillful, and even playful attempt at having more balls than you can hold in your hands at once. For others, though, this image may portend disaster in the potential for dropping all of the balls at the same time.

As wise teachers from many traditions tell us, “know thyself.” Self-awareness is the first step toward self-mastery, no less so when it comes to our attempts to lead balanced, fulfilling lives.

What phrases, clichés, and images speak to you, and which ones turn you off or leave you cold?
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Dana, a work-at-home mom with a young son, has a lot of experience with "thriving in the juggle of life." We are excited to welcome her back today.

Vitamin D for “Dynomite”

2009-12-26T14:51:00.004-05:00

photo by Pink Sherbet Photography

As you are enjoying this holiday season, hopefully, you get to go outside. In addition to getting some exercise, relaxation and pure enjoyment from a walk, Aundrea Tucker, our favorite holistic health counselor, is sharing a great health benefit of being outdoors --- getting your body enriched with Vitamin D.

As we get well into winter it’s vitally important that we make concerted efforts to get the Vitamin D we so desperately need. Collectively we have a Vitamin D deficiency epidemic across a variety of U.S. populations. Just take a look at these statistics:

o 32% of doctors and medical school students are vitamin-D deficient.
o 40% of the U.S. population is vitamin-D deficient.
o 42% of African American women of childbearing age are vitamin-D deficient.
o 48% of young girls (9-11 years old) are vitamin-D deficient.
o Up to 60% of all hospital patients are vitamin-D deficient.
o 76% of pregnant mothers are severely vitamin-D deficient, causing widespread vitamin-D deficiencies in their unborn children.
o Up to 80% of nursing home patients are vitamin-D deficient.

Vitamin D prevents osteoporosis, depression, prostate cancer and breast cancer, and even effects diabetes and obesity. Vitamin D is perhaps the single most underrated nutrient in the world of nutrition. That’s probably because it’s free; your body makes it when sunlight touches your skin. Truth is, most people don’t know the real story on vitamin D and health.

Vitamin D is produced by your skin in response to exposure to ultraviolet radiation from natural sunlight.

The healing rays of natural sunlight that generate vitamin D in your skin cannot penetrate glass. So you don’t generate vitamin D when sitting in your car or home.

It is nearly impossible to get adequate amounts of vitamin D from your diet. Sunlight exposure is the only reliable way to generate vitamin D in your own body.

A person would have to drink 10 tall glasses of vitamin D fortified milk each day just to get minimum levels of vitamin D into their diet.

The farther you live from the equator, the longer the exposure you need to the sun in order to generate vitamin D. Canada, the UK and most US states are far from the equator.

People with dark skin pigmentation may need 20 to 30 times as much exposure to sunlight as fair-skinned people to generate the same amount of vitamin D. This is why prostate cancer is epidemic among black men—it is a simple but widespread sunlight deficiency.

Sufficient levels of vitamin D are crucial for calcium absorption in your intestines. Without sufficient vitamin D, your body cannot absorb calcium, rendering calcium supplements useless.

Chronic vitamin D deficiency cannot be reversed overnight; it takes months of vitamin D supplementation and sunlight exposure to rebuild the body’s bones and nervous system.

Even weak sunscreens (SPF 8) block your body’s ability to generate vitamin D by 95%. Sunscreen products can actually cause disease by creating a critical vitamin deficiency in the body.

It is impossible to generate too much vitamin D in your body from sunlight exposure: your body will self-regulate and only generate what it needs.

If it hurts to press firmly on your sternum, you may be suffering from chronic vitamin D deficiency right now.

Vitamin D is activated in your body by your kidneys and liver before it can be used.

Having kidney disease or liver damage can greatly impair your body’s ability to activate circulating vitamin D.

Even though vitamin D is one of the most powerful healing chemicals in your body, your body makes it absolutely free. No prescription required.

So how do you know if you have a deficiency? See your doctor and get your level tested through a blood panel.

How do you get Vitamin D? Hit the great outdoors, but be smart about your sunlight exposure. Time it right: If you have a fair complexion, you’ll need just 5 to 10 minutes of sunshine on your arms, legs, or back—without sunscreen (yes, it shuts down the production of D)—between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. three days a week, Dr. Lee says. Women who have medium skin tones may need 15 to 20 minutes’ exposure, and darker-skinned women may need up to 30 minutes’ worth. And remember: Do use a sunscreen with SPF 30 or higher on your face and wear a wide-brimmed hat, especially if you’re going to be outside for any length of time.

(Information derived from “The Healing Power of Sunlight and Vitamin D: An Exclusive Interview with Dr. Michael Holick,” by Mike Adams)

Finding Your Creativity

2009-12-23T13:34:00.004-05:00

Photo by Noodlemistress

Neurologists have long known that people who are creative often use different parts of their brains than those who are not. Even in those who are not inherently creative, studies show that when they engage in certain activities and practice certain skills, those parts of the brain become more active. I won’t get into the particulars about the anatomy and physiology of the brain here, but suffice it to say that the idea that creative people are “right-brained” has some truth to it.

The interesting thing to me, though, is that anyone can be creative. Any of us can utilize those various parts of our brains and find enjoyment in creativity. You may be asking yourself why you would want to engage other areas of your brain. “Aren’t I already using enough of my brain to try to manage all I do?” you might ask. What seems important about all of this is that when you engage yourself in a variety of activities and learn new skills, especially those that trigger use of different parts of your brain, you become better able to find balance. Your repertoire of coping strategies expands and you have more outlets for yourself.

Being creative requires you to see the world around you in a way differently than you normally do. You become more aware of the small nuances of your life and the things that you may typically take for granted or ignore. Creativity allows you to grow and develop new skills, different hobbies, and various opportunities to find well-being.

I have found that when I am overwhelmed and stressed out, one of my go-to coping strategies is finding a creative project for myself. It is not uncommon for me to have two or three going at a time that I can always fall into when I need a break away from the grind of my everyday life. I have also enjoyed learning new creative outlets, and am always looking for something that will spark my interest and give me something to look forward to.

Here are some ways to engage your own creativity (no degree in fine arts needed):

1. Pack a camera with you one day and take it everywhere you go. Snap shots of your everyday life: the people, the places, the activities. Look for interesting angles or different views. At the end of the day, look back at the photos you took and see your life from a new perspective.

2. Try out one of the popular do-it-yourself art project places. There are opportunities to paint your own pottery, paint your own picture, or make your own frame for a print you’ve been wanting to hang. Gather a few friends, take something to drink (most of these places allow this), and spend a couple of hours creating with friends.

3. Peruse the crafting books at a local bookstore. Choose one that catches your attention and try out the craft that it teaches… preferably something that you have not tried before.

4. Journal. Allow yourself to write without structure and to write about whatever may be on your mind. You could start a gratitude journal or a blog. Write about what you are passionate about that day, don’t worry about your spelling or grammar, and get your ideas out on paper (or screen).

5. Craft with your children. Something as simple as a box of crayons and some scratch paper can trigger amazing creativity in our children. Get down on their level, pick up some colors yourself, watch them, and emulate.

6. Write a letter. The art of letter-writing is disappearing in this age of email and electronic communication. While I don’t admonish the latter, I do still appreciate and enjoy the time and art in writing a letter. Think about someone who you have not communicated with recently, pick up some nice stationary and an ink pen, and write to them.

7. Play some music. For those of you who have talent with an instrument, this could entail you pulling out your old guitar and strumming on it. For those of us without such talent, it could mean that we turn on Pandora. Or the radio. Or an old record or CD. Having music in our lives automatically triggers those creative parts of our brain, whether playing or listening.

8. Take a walk. Or go for a hike, practice yoga, rock climb, or do anything else that stretches you physically. Try a new sport or exercise, use different muscles, and become more physically creative.

9. Wear a new outfit. Borrow something from a friend or buy something inexpensive. Choose a piece that is different from your normal wardrobe, mix and match varying pieces, with an goal of being creative. If you are really crafty, try making yourself something by engaging some sewing, knitting, or other skills.

10. Make something good to eat. Remember a favorite dish at a restaurant? Try to recreate it at home. Or come up with something completely innovative – choose some of your favorite ingredients and attempt a culinary masterpiece. Enjoy.

Sometimes if we don’t have a particular talent or skill, we assume that we cannot be creative. It is important, however, to find our own creativity and utilize it. Not only will it give you an outlet and something to go to for relaxation, but it will also expand your horizons and enhance your perspective on life. Seeing things from a creative viewpoint can be restorative and balancing.

What are your creativities? How do you try to implement them into your life?

Flexibility

2009-12-19T00:43:00.002-05:00

Photo by tamelyn

I had every intention of writing this post several days ago. The task of doing so was even on my to-do list and calendar, and so I was sure I would get it accomplished with plenty of time to spare. However, at 11:00pm last night when I still did not have it done, my eyelids were drooping, and I couldn’t think straight, I made the choice to get some sleep rather than finish that which should have been done days ago.

Life happens – quickly and unexpectedly, sometimes – especially during this season of the holidays. Of course, I should have predicted my well-laid plans may go out the window, but I held on to optimism (like I typically do) and assumed that I would tick things off my list in a fashionable order. But when my husband had to go out of town for an unplanned business trip, my job required some extra time unexpectedly, my daughter decided that she could not function without being held by me, and my dogs ran through a yard full of mud and tracked it all in on my newly cleaned carpets (several days before out-of-town guests arrive, of course!), I felt defeated. Along with writing this post, my to-do list also had the usual holiday myriad of baking, gift making, and laundry. I realistically could not do it all. Without necessarily choosing to, I have been duly reminded about flexibility.

Work-life balance research has shown time and time again that one of the most important factors that increase a person’s feeling of balance is that of perceived flexibility. The more you believe that you have flexibility in one (or all) of your roles, the more likely you are to believe you are able to balance them. And therefore, you will experience less conflict between your competing roles.

Flexibility = harmony.

The finding certainly makes logical sense. While this research has looked at the flexibility of the particular roles, I am also curious about what role flexibility of the individual plays.
One of my default characteristics is adherence to routines. Especially when I am trying to balance my life and “thrive in the juggle of life,” I find it paramount to have a schedule and a routine that I can count on. Most times, when I try to fly by the seat of my pants, things crumble into a disaster. Especially when it comes to children. But I have also learned that being flexible within that routine can be vital to finding balance too.

Too much rigidity is bad for the soul. While my initial reaction yesterday afternoon was to scream and pull my hair out, instead, I found myself gritting my teeth, taking a deep breath, and changing things up a bit. For example, while I really needed my daughter to play by herself while I cleaned up the dishes, I succumbed to her requests and enjoyed some time just holding her. While this may have slowed me down and prevented me from doing all I wanted, it also gave me the opportunity to nourish something important that I had left off my list that day.

I am certainly a work-in-progress with this whole flexibility thing. There is a fine line for me between having a flexible routine and all falling into mass chaos. Maybe that is a bit extreme, but it’s how I feel when things start to go out of plan. I am learning, though, that the chaos often offers the opportunity for some of the sweetest moments of my life.

Consider your approach to flexibility in your life. Do you have it? Sometimes it takes practice to be more comfortable with changing up a routine and being more flexible. Here are some ideas for ways to practice increasing your personal flexibility in order to balance your life roles:

1. Pick one night of the week and don’t make any dinner plans ahead of time. Don’t pick up take-out or go to the grocery store, but rather scramble around your house to find something to eat when you get home. (Doing this will teach you to have things around that you can fall back on when needed… especially on those days that you don’t plan an “unplanned dinner.”)

2. Take a different route to or from work (or school, the store, etc.). We often go into “auto-pilot” when engaged in a typical routine – forcing yourself out of that will open your eyes to new things in your surroundings. (It will also teach you other traveling routes so that when the need presents itself, you are prepared with a Plan B.)

3. Give yourself 5 extra minutes. For any task that you have to accomplish, plan an extra 5 minutes for it. Traveling, doing chores, drafting emails… anything. Having more time will automatically give you flexibility to change things up a bit if you need (or want) to.

4. Take a day trip away from home without a plan. Take a map or GPS, some snacks and water, and hit the road. Decide where to go as you are going – see where you end up and what you experience. This may sound a bit scary with kids, but some of the best times with children are spent spontaneously. And if you are really brave, do this on a day that you had other plans – ditch them and go!

5. Change up your wardrobe. Dig deep into your closet to pull out the things you never wear, trade clothes with a friend, and mix and match. I sometimes get into a clothing rut where I wear the same things, week in and week out. Pulling some different things together without spending extra money is a fun way to change it up and increase flexibility in your appearance.

Let us know your ideas on flexibility and any tips you have found to be helpful in generating more of it for yourself. For me, I will take a deep breath, press “publish” on this post, and get back to scrubbing mud out of the carpet. Happy flexible holidays!

Why Wednesday Is My New Favorite Day of the Week

2009-12-15T14:03:00.003-05:00

photo by SashaW

“Ultimately you come to the state where you do nothing and accomplish everything” ~Deepak Chopra

Many of us are extremely busy and focused on what we need to do next. In some way, our existence on this planet is about non-stop doing versus being. Let me explain, we are so busy with everything we need to do every day that we forget to notice that even just being in this world feels quite good. Deepak Chopra wrote a book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, that outlines seven laws (one for each day of the week) that help us remember why being is important and how we can achieve what we want by going with the flow of life versus against it. For example, the spiritual day for Monday is the law of “Giving and receiving.” It reminds us about the importance of having the circulation of giving and receiving in our lives. The law of the day on Thursday is about our intentions and desires. It reminds us to be aware of our deepest desires and to take steps (even small ones) towards them.

We have a guest today, Sue Knight, Ph.D., who pays attention to these laws every day of her life. She wants to share with you information on her favorite law of the day. Thank you, Sue!

Ever since I decided to focus on one of The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success each day of the week, I love Wednesdays. The Law of Least Effort, the fourth Law, is my favorite. It’s based on the idea that the total combined wisdom of the Universe or Nature is operating at all times, and the less I try to intervene or even fight my way through, the more harmonious the outcomes will be. Sure, I do have a piece of the Universe’s divine wisdom inside myself, but sometimes it’s way inside there, and I’m not accessing it effectively. The Law of Least Effort reminds me that a good default option to always consider is letting nature take its course. Here’s how that law has made Wednesday the BEST for me:

Each morning when I wake up, I review the spiritual law of the day before I start meditating, starting with the first law on Sunday. I think about the concept behind the law and the three guideline tips for applying the law that are included in Chopra’s book. On Wednesdays, I’m thinking about the tremendous release offered by the idea that the least effort may be the best effort in any given situation. And I’m remembering the three guideline tips I can use to make it happen for me:

Accept people, events, and circumstances as they are. Minimize my attempts to control the world.
Be responsible by using my “ability” to “respond” in the moment when that is right. Stop blaming myself or anyone else for the way things are; just go forward with “now.”
Avoid defensiveness. It’s amazing how much time is saved by simply not defending my position!

As I go about my Wednesday, the Law of Least Effort is playing in the background of my mind and can be brought to the forefront at any time. It’s especially useful when I want to stop racing thoughts, when I’m in an awkward social situation, when I’m struggling with a work issue, or when I’m feeling like I have too much to do with too little time. A simple reflection on the harmony that exists in the vastness of the universe is enough to take the pressure off me to provide the “fix.” When I do that, I start relaxing in the idea that I’m just a little piece in a gigantic puzzle, and the more I can keep my edges soft, the better for the whole to fit together. Once I’m thinking about the gigantic puzzle and I’m in Law of Least Effort mode, I’m better able to respond to what other puzzle pieces are presenting and align myself so everything goes together better.

I used to think of Wednesday as “Hump Day” – I was all about getting closer to the weekend, and Wednesday represented getting halfway there. Now with my new perspective, I’m savoring the moments with their constant opportunities to give least effort on Wednesday – and it’s much more enjoyable! Plus things just seem to turn out better without my resistance. Of course, use of the Law of Least Effort isn’t limited to Wednesday; over time it’s becoming a more typical response option for me 24-7.

All of the spiritual laws have added to my “life-balancing repertoire” over the last year since I started using them, and each day is better now that there’s an underlying law to consider whenever I’d like. Just one more example: Sunday is the Law of Pure Potentiality, which contains reminders of the infinite possibilities contained within every single moment. The three guideline tips are to: 1) meditate in a way that frees my mind from my day-to-day surroundings, thoughts and feelings, 2) spend time outside marveling at the way nature unfolds, and 3) avoid judging anyone or anything, since there is obviously a much larger sense to everything than I am aware of.

Please share with us if there is anything that helps you to get a perspective on things when life seems to be spinning around with lots of responsibilities.

Take a (Holiday) Hike

2009-12-11T20:41:00.004-05:00

Photo by mimo

‘Tis the season to overeat…and I am guilty. How can anyone resist all of the holiday treats, large meals, and plethora of desserts? I am doing good to hold it down to a moderate amount of gluttony.

My typical way of coping with my love of food is exercise. While I certainly don’t exercise on the regiment that I should, over the years I have learned to mix some exercise or physical activity in during times when eating is the theme of the season.

A recent post by Stacey lists starting new family traditions as a way to simplify your holiday season. There is no reason why new family traditions have to be centered around a coffee table full of fudge and peanut brittle. At one of our family gatherings, we have started the tradition of having a basketball game. All are invited to play, and it is a great way to work off some turkey and dressing.

For those of you who go back to your hometown for the holidays, walk around the neighborhood, showing your kids where you grew up playing, or walk to old friends’ and neighbors’ homes to give them holiday well-wishes. For those of you who enjoy the outdoors, pack up the leftovers, bundle up, and take the family for a hike in the woods. If the weather is too inclement, there are other options like indoor community centers, or I hear that the Nintendo Wii Fit is great fun for the entire family.

Look for a new holiday tradition that can burn some calories. You’ll feel better about yourself and you will not have so much ground to make up after the New Year. There will be some scrooges that do not want to participate, but, if you will lead the charge, others will join in. What calorie burning activities do you enjoy with your family during the holidays?

Thank you, David, for your great ideas on keeping balance through the holidays! We hope you all have enjoyed Holiday Week at :simple:balance:, and we look forward to sharing more on finding life balance with you next week. Happy weekend!

R-E-L-A-X This Holiday Season

2009-12-10T23:12:00.007-05:00

Photo by littlemoresunshine

Aundrea is back to give her perspective, as a certified holistic health counselor, on how to find some relaxation during such a busy time of year...

Doesn’t it seem like the race gun is fired right after your Thanksgiving meal? You can almost hear “And they’re off!” as the flurry of activities and events begin to fill our days and calendars. Well, we should be putting some other to-do’s in our calendars as well … reminders to R-E-L-A-X …

Here are some tips to do just that:

:: Visualize your ideal holiday season as balanced and harmonious. Don’t be afraid to re-evaluate family traditions and start some new ones.

:: Think about what relaxation means to you. Whether it means taking a bath, going to the gym or taking a yoga class, find ways that help you recharge your batteries so you are not constantly on the go.

:: Schedule down time. Enjoy time alone by listening to music or reading a book. Turn off your phone, if you can, so you are not distracted.

:: Recognize when you’re experiencing too much stress. Decrease your stress levels by deep breathing or visualizing a place you’d like to be.

:: Keep focused on your relaxation goals. Remind yourself why it’s important to stay relaxed and balanced.

Staying relaxed is not only important around the holidays, but year-round. When you are living in harmony with your own body you’ll experience better health and more happiness – and so will your loved ones! Happy holidays!

Are You Present for Your Present?

2009-12-09T09:05:00.006-05:00

photo by fesoi

"When we can accept all of life's contradictions, when we can comfortably flow between the banks of pleasure and pain, experiencing them both while getting stuck in neither, then we are free" ~Deepak Chopra

Holiday time is filled with rushing, going from one store to the next, cooking, eating, signing holiday cards, visiting, wrapping gifts, opening gifts, etc. Especially at this time of the year we may feel that “time is slipping,” “there is not enough time in the day” and if only we could have two extra hours, we would finish everything we want to finish. Amongst all the chaos, I find that reconnecting with myself helps me feel more balanced and definitely adds to the joy of holidays.

Many of us have heard about the importance of being present and being in the “now.” What exactly does it mean? To me, it means to not leave your life by being entirely lost in what happened or didn’t happen (past) or what I need to do tomorrow, next week (future). Instead or in addition to past and future, I invite you to focus on the PRESENT---what can be more real? The past is gone, the future may never happen, so enjoy the ride (even if it’s crazy) of the present.

You may think, “it sounds good, but how do I stay focused on now?” Our minds tend to wonder off either to the past or the future, so Dr. David Simon, co-founder of the Chopra Center, believes that we need to focus on our heart. He believes that instead of trying to get to a place (Present), we need to observe and experience it. Here are few suggestions that work for me:

1. Pay attention. Throughout your day pay attention to when your mind wonders off and gets stuck and bring yourself back to what you are doing now. You will be able to notice why you do it: are you bored? Are you upset? Are you overwhelmed? You will get a lot more clarity on why your mind is restless.
2. Feel your body. The mind may tend to wonder off, but the body is in the present, so by paying attention to the feelings inside of you, you can better reconnect with the moment. How does it feel when someone gives you a gift? How does it feel to give a gift?
3. Listen to others. Being an active listener is not always easy and definitely keeps your attention in the present. During holidays, you may have a great opportunity to practice this valuable skill. Cherish your relationships with close ones by listening.
4. Reconnect through nature. Nature has a beautiful power to pull us back to the present. I went for a walk this morning and couldn’t but pay attention to the beautiful early morning sky, the smell of fireplaces in the air, the trees (at night they are beautifully lit up with all the lights). Notice the beauty around you by connecting to different elements: walking on Earth, smelling the Air, walking by the Water or Ice sculptures, gaze at the Fire in the fireplace, appreciate the vastness of the open Space. Sometimes, you even don’t have to be outside, you may just look out the window an notice the moon or sun shining at you.
5. Meditation helps bring our awareness to the present moment. The benefits of regular practice would help you experience more peace and desire to stay in now.

Wherever you are, whatever you do, experience this holiday time by being Present for everything: highs and lows, joys and sorrows, laughter and tears… Enjoy the ride!

Simplifying the Holidays

2009-12-07T20:45:00.006-05:00

Welcome to Holiday Week at :simple:balance:! This time of year can pose a lot of challenges to finding balance; so we thought it would be helpful to tackle some of them head-on and early. The posts this week will be dedicated to finding balance during the holiday season… with a focus on simplicity, celebration, and priority placed on the things that are most important. We are looking forward to contributions from some of our guest writers this week, and as always, we welcome your suggestions and feedback, as well. So grab a cup of hot cocoa, turn on some holiday music, and join us throughout the week at :simple:balance: to get in the spirit simply.

To start off Holiday Week, we will be looking at some tips to scale down your activities, find enjoyment in the things you value, and relax during the hustle and bustle. There is no denying that this time of year can create pressure, throw all schedules out the window, and feel like a hurried celebration rather than a genuine one. The following are ten ideas for simplifying things, as well as examples of how I have been or will be implementing them.

1. Sit down with your family, your friends, or by yourself, and write out the top three activities you would like to participate in this holiday season. This is better done earlier rather than later because the rest of your planning will revolve around these three things. There will always be multiple parties, get-togethers, shopping trips, and other activities to choose from that will quickly fill up your calendar. To make sure you maintain your priorities and spend your limited time and energy where you want, decide ahead of time what is most important. [For me: (1) be at home Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, (2) spend an evening driving around town to see local holiday lights, (3) host a small get-together for close friends.]
2. Start planning your gift-giving early… really, really early. Maybe this means being on the look-out for gifts at sales you see throughout the year, or maybe it means talking with your loved ones about how gifts will be exchanged well before you see them at Thanksgiving. Plan your budget for gift-giving so you can save appropriately throughout the year. And stick with that budget when the time comes. (If you haven’t done that already, be realistic now with what you have to spend or give.) Write out a list of the people you will be giving to with notes about what they like or ideas for things you could give them. As you get a gift for them, write it on the list, go ahead and wrap it (if you’re really motivated!), and cross the person off your list. [For me: I maintain my list throughout the year, and as ideas come to me or I pick things up, I log it on my list so I don’t forget. When holiday time arrives, I feel more organized and like I am a step ahead.]
3. Consider handmade gifts for your loved ones. I have learned that the old adage, “it’s the thought that counts” is so, so true. I would much rather receive something handmade especially for me than some expensive store-bought thing. When someone takes the time and energy to make me something, I truly feel loved. Use your talents or learn a new hobby to make some gifts for your loved ones. Spend relaxing time at home on these gifts rather than hurried time in traffic or in a mall searching for the “perfect” gift. [For me: I am hand-making most of my gifts this year… from spiced nuts to kids’ music CDs to bath goodies. All simple, but love-filled.]
4. If you don’t have the time or the energy to hand-make your gifts, consider a charitable donation. We recently posted about a great organization you can consider, as well as more information about charitable giving. Check it out! [For me: My family is making a donation to a charity special to us in honor of our loved ones. We will write a letter to them describing what we have done and how the donation will be used; they will get that letter as their gift to unwrap. I am also encouraging my loved ones to do the same!]
5. Cook in bulk! When things are hectic, who has time to make a healthy meal at the end of a busy day? Running through a fast-food drive-through is not a great option, though, so make it realistic that you could eat something wholesome. Starting before the holiday season, double or triple the recipes you normally make, and freeze the extra in meal-size portions. Once the busy season hits, you will have some meals ready-made to thaw and enjoy. [For me: I am making a big pot of vegetable soup tonight… two-thirds of which will go into the freezer for use over the next few weeks. Yum…]
6. If you make holiday treats, use the same philosophy as in #5 above. To avoid late-night cookie factories in your kitchen, make dough or finished treats ahead of time, freeze them, and then thaw when you are ready to enjoy or share. [For me: I have some pumpkin puree frozen from last month that will soon be used in a yummy pumpkin bread recipe that is a tradition in my family.]
7. Find time for the things that nourish and fulfill you at other times of the year. Exercise, meditation, downtime with a loved one, and hobbies are easily neglected when the holidays are in full-swing. Schedule these activities for yourself and work the holiday business around them. In order to accomplish and enjoy all you want, you have to be nourished. [For me: This one is a poignant reminder! I’ve not been good about keeping my exercise routine lately, so this week is devoted to re-engaging in those early morning work-outs.]
8. Get enough rest and sleep! Parties and other late-night events may interfere with a normal sleep schedule, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t get enough rest overall. Keep a regular sleep routine, as you are able, and pay attention to what your body is telling you. You won’t be able to enjoy the holidays if you can’t keep your eyes open! [For me: Another good reminder! I spent last week finishing a handmade gift that had to be delivered this weekend, so that meant a couple of late nights. I am getting back on schedule, and can already tell that my body is thanking me.]
9. Dress festively. This may sound silly, but it truly is a simple way to celebrate the holidays without much time or energy. Go through your closet or drawers and pick out some clothes that make you feel good about yourself and bring our your holiday spirit. Wear them whenever you need some holiday cheer. [For me: I got a pedicure this weekend and am now sporting red, sparkly toes!]
10. Create a holiday tradition for yourself and/or your family. Think back to things that you did with your family – do any of those hold value for you now? Would you like to repeat them with your family this year? Or consider something new that you can create as a time-honored tradition and symbol of the season for your family. Some examples include: making an ornament each year for your Christmas tree, singing holiday songs around the fire, baking holiday goodies and sharing with residents at a local nursing home, collecting gifts for a child in need, building a family gingerbread house, or volunteering at a local soup kitchen or food pantry. [For me: Cutting down a Christmas tree at a local tree farm, decorating it to the sounds of holiday music, while sharing a cup of hot cocoa or tea with my family.]

Happy holidays! What ideas or suggestions do you have for keeping them simple and joyous?

(Photos by ~*~...nicole...~*~, tamaskoszo, The Gifted Photographer)

Face Lotion Recipe

2009-12-04T14:42:00.004-05:00

photo by rafaellmagalhaes

Winter is typically a very dry time of the year. Many of us forget
to moisturize our skin, which leads to rashes, cracks and many other skin problems. Do not forget that skin is our largest organ, so treat it with care and love. Many commercial lotions contain harmful ingredients. So, below is a recipe for a safe lotion. Not only your skin will be grateful, but you may even save a few dollars.

Ingredients:

1 ounce of cocoa butter
2 ounces almond oil

3 to 4 drops of rose or geranium oil

Place the cocoa butter and almond oil together in a small pan. Heat until the butter melts. Add essential oils and allow to cool. Enjoy!

Please share any other tips to keep your skin healthy during this time of the year.

Blog with Heart

2009-12-01T22:14:00.003-05:00

Photo by ChildrensWishList

Simplifying my holiday plans is a hallmark step for me this year in achieving balance. Being overwhelmed with party plans, food menus, and gift shopping have, in the past, cast a shadow over the more meaningful reasons for the season. When I am running from store to store, digging deep in my pockets for uninspired or less-than-thoughtful gifts, and trying to make everyone happy, I forget why I am even celebrating. It all winds up as one big, stressful, fast-paced event that is over before I even had the chance to enjoy it. Whatever your tradition, this time of year offers the opportunity to sit back, reflect, and enjoy time with loved ones.

I don’t need a single material thing. I have a comfortable home, all of my necessities, and far more “extravagancies” than I really need. So when people have asked me what I want for Christmas this year, my genuine response is: NOTHING. I really do not want you to spend your hard-earned money on me; I do not want to have to find a place for some knick-knack that I don’t have space for; and I do not want to contribute to making the holidays about STUFF. Rather, I would appreciate your time, a visit, or just your thoughts.

My loved ones, probably like yours, aren’t going for it. They say things like, “Well, I’m going to buy you something anyway, so you better just give me a list.” Unfortunately, we tend to feel like we haven’t done enough if we haven’t gotten someone a gift for a special occasion. If they can’t or won’t do something homemade, another option is a charitable donation. (If you are one of my loved ones who cannot go without buying a gift, please, please, please continue reading!)

Some people in the blogging community have grouped together to provide a resource for all of those gift-determined folks who need an outlet for their cash. The “Blog with Heart Challenge” is being hosted by Mary Jaksch of Goodlife ZEN and Arvind Devalia of Make It Happen and starts today, December 1, 2009. The Challenge is joining forces with Kiva, a highly respected micro-lending non-profit organization, to challenge bloggers and readers to alleviate poverty throughout the world. Sounds like a pretty daunting task – much harder than just running to Target to pick up a sweater – but stay with me to see how easy and effective it is... and how you could get involved.

Kiva is the world’s first person-to-person micro-lending website. Its stated mission is to “connect people through lending for the sake of alleviating poverty.” You may have heard of the concept or the organization through testimonies by people like Oprah Winfrey or Bill Clinton or in FORTUNE magazine or on the Today Show. In fact, Muhammad Yunus founded his Grameen bank in 1976 as a resource for micro-loans to the poor; thirty years later, in 2006, he won the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in eradicating poverty through his organization. You can learn more details about micro-lending at Kiva’s website, as well as information about the specifics of how the organization works. The basic idea is this: you lend a small amount of money (as little as $25) to a low-income entrepreneur in a developing country. They then use that money to start a business that they can grow and use to support their family and community. Most low-income entrepreneurs do not have access to traditional bank loans, and while they may only need a few dollars to get started, they are not able to build a business that would eventually sustain them financially… thus ending their struggle with poverty. Your loan would allow them to do that.

Kiva provides a forum for you to connect directly with low-income entrepreneurs. You can read about them, their business goals, and the progress they are making toward supporting themselves and their families. You can choose an individual and make a loan directly to them. You may have the opportunity to receive email updates about how that person is doing with their business and your loan, and stay connected to their progress. The Blog with Heart Challenge is one opportunity to get involved alongside other :simple:balance:rs. It is (no pun intended) simple:

1. Sign up and register with Kiva here.
2. Go to the :simple:balance: Lending Team and click the “Join Now” button.
3. Click on “LEND” in the navigation bar, and then choose someone that you would like to make a loan to. Browse the possibilities, read about people’s business goals and dreams, and choose someone (or multiple people) that you would like to help.
4. Boost the :simple:balance: team! On the “My Basket” page, in the upper right hand section, type :simple:balance: blog in the box.
5. Continue with the payment process.
6. Enjoy the feeling of helping someone to support themselves, their family, and their community. You have just taken a step towards ending world poverty.
7. After the loan you made is repaid, you can lend that same money to another low-income entrepreneur. Keep on enjoying the process!

Consider charitable gifts for the holidays this year. Inform your loved ones that you would prefer the simple route this year: a donation to someone who needs it would be much appreciated. You may have a favorite organization that you contribute to already – consider upping your donation this year in honor of your loved ones. If you want them to have something to open on the big day, write up a description of the organization, their mission and goals, and how your donation, in their honor, will help – wrap it up and present it to the people you love. Maybe you will even motivate someone else to do the same! If you are interested in taking a step toward eradicating world poverty, please check into the “Blog with Heart Challenge” and Kiva. It is amazing how fewer wrapped boxes and less money spent on gadgets can alleviate stress and foster a sense of balance… and appreciation for the holidays.

What do you think about charitable giving? Are you going to give the “Blog with Heart Challenge” a try this year? What other suggestions and ideas do you have?

Five Key Shopping Tips

2009-11-28T10:08:00.004-05:00

Photo by Jeff Keen

We hope that all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Aundrea, the certified holistic health counselor, is back with us to share some wonderful shopping tips. Enjoy!

With limited time in the day and so many things to keep up with, do you ever find yourself at the grocery store and have no idea what you need to buy? You can’t remember what’s at home AND you keep meaning to buy healthier foods to have on hand, but you just haven’t gotten educated enough to really start? Baby steps … baby steps …

Start (or re-start!) your habit of writing items down as you discover you need them. This will become your grocery list. My grandmother always shopped by a list and rarely bought things not on that list. Incidentally, my grandparents watched their money and were therefore able to grow (and re-grow!) their money over the years. I need to keep this in mind myself.

For those of us who need to get on track, here are some baby steps – 5 little tips - to keep top of mind as you focus on being prepared to shop, eat healthier, and mind your budget. You may even want to print these tips and keep them in your purse or wallet.

1. Don’t shop when you’re hungry!

2. Always bring a list and stick to it as much as possible.

3. Avoid foods that contain the following additives:

Sodium Nitrite: causes cancer, found in processed meats like hot dogs, bacon, and
sausage. Used to make meats appear red (a color fixer chemical).

Hydrogenated Oils, or Trans Fats: causes heart disease, nutritional deficiencies,
general deterioration of cellular health, and much more. Found in cookies, crackers,
margarine and many "manufactured" foods. Used to make oils stay in the food,
extending shelf life. Sometimes also called "plastic fat."

Excitotoxins: aspartame, monosodium glutamate and others. These neurotoxic
chemical additives directly harm nerve cells, over-exciting them to the point of cell
death, according to Dr. Russell Blaylock. They're found in diet soda, canned soup,
salad dressing, breakfast sausage and even many manufactured vegetarian foods.
They're used to add flavor to over-processed, boring foods that have had the life
cooked out of them.

o Note: MSG can be hidden under the following covert names:
autolyzed, hyrdrolyzed, yeast estract, tortula yeast.

High Frutose Corn Syrup: cheap form of sugar that metabolizes in the liver

4. When buying processed flour products, like bread or wraps, look for the word “whole” at the
beginning of the ingredient list.

5. Look for ingredients with names you recognize, and are short in length. (For example, the ingredient list for peanut butter should read “peanuts, salt”.)

Spending Time With Your Family

2009-11-24T22:57:00.003-05:00

photo by CarbonNYC

“Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

I am running to Costco, cleaning the house and finalizing the menu for Thanksgiving. Within a few hours our 1,000 square foot condo will be filled with 10 people and 2 dogs. Although I am excited to see everyone, I know (from the past experience) that emotions can run high during holidays. So, there are few reminders that I developed for myself that will help me enjoy this time of the year:

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the preparation and details that we forget what Thanksgiving is about. To me, it is about gratitude and appreciation towards what you have and most importantly who you have in your life. As much as possible, keep the gratitude in perspective.

Accept the fact that every family has its highs and lows. We often take our families for granted and wish for something or someone different. “If only my mom could”… does it sound familiar? I finally came to realization that my family members are just the way they are. I can hope for things to be different, but the best thing I can do is to accept them as they are. If I have a burning desire to improve someone, I focus on myself. Interestingly, I noticed that improving myself not only makes me feel better, but definitely produces some positive curiosity among my family members.

Let go of perfectionism during holidays. We all know that life is not perfect. It is so much easier if you let go off the desire to make everything perfect and everyone happy. So, I realize that I cannot clean and organize everything, I cannot cook all the dishes I would like to prepare and that someone may get upset about something. But overall, I think we will still have a good time.

Share responsibilities. Some of us just have a hard time delegating. I learned that it is much easier and it makes other people happier to help out.

Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. Sometimes, there may be a debate and we just really want for people to see things/issues just like we see them. But how boring the world would be if everyone thought like we did? Accept the multitude of perspectives and release the need to be right. If you strongly disagree with something before you voice your disagreement, take a pause and think “That’s interesting… I have never thought about it that way. It is a different way of viewing this issue.”

The next few days will go by so fast. If you start feeling overwhelmed, find a quiet place for a few minutes of reflection. If no rooms are available (happens quite often in my house), the bathroom works great too.

Have a wonderful Thanks Giving!

Pumpkin Muffins

2009-11-20T12:07:00.007-05:00

photo by muffet

This time of the year is filled with some festive food. Anything we can do to keep it a little healtier and still tasty will help us with our sense of balance. Here is a wonderful recipe for your weekend or family get together.

Ingredients (Makes 12 muffins)

2 cups of whole wheat pastry flour or spelt flour
1/2 cup turbinado sugar (you can find it at Trader Joes or other stores)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 slides almonds and/or walnuts
1/2 cup raising or dried cranberries
1 cup low-fat vanilla soymilk, rice milk or regular milk
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 maple syrup
3/4 cup pumkin puree
one diced apple (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Spray a muffin pay with the oil and set aside. In a bowl, stir together with a wire whisk the flour, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking powder, baking soda, salt, almonds, and raisins. In a separate, larger bowl, combine the milk, oil, maple syrup and pumkin puree. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and combine gently. Scoop into the muffin pan and bake for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown. An inserted toothpick should come out clean. ENJOY!

Try this recipe and let us know how you like it.

Stress in America

2009-11-17T20:46:00.003-05:00

Photo by Raychel Mendez

At one time or another, we all talk about stress and feeling the burden of our many responsibilities, and we often wonder how we can best cope with all we have on our plates. The juggle involved in being both a career-oriented and family-oriented person at the same time can take a toll on our well-being if we aren’t careful. Our goal should be to find fulfillment in these activities, not to feel overwhelmed.

We at :simple:balance: aren’t the only ones who explore these topics and ask questions about how to best handle stress. The American Psychological Association (APA) recently conducted a survey entitled “Stress in America.” Findings from this study have been cited in the popular press, academic journals, and people’s front porches. Given the scope of the survey and the applicability of its findings, we thought it only prudent to share some thoughts on it here.

First, the results. Here are the key findings, as identified by the APA:

1. Stress is on the rise and women bear the brunt. Almost half of the respondents indicated that their stress levels had risen in the past year, and about 30% rated them as “extreme.” Nearly half of the people who responded to the survey say that they are not sure they are doing enough or don’t believe they are doing enough to manage their stress. Women reported higher levels of stress than men, had more physical and emotional symptoms of stress, and were likely to report more various stressors.
2. Stress impacts physical and psychological health. Respondents identified several medical and emotional concerns that are likely increased or worsened with higher levels of stress: heart disease, depression, cancer, obesity, insomnia, sexual dysfunction, gastrointestinal problems, anxiety, anger, and fatigue, to name a few.
3. Money and the economy are top stressors. About 80% of Americans identified one of these two factors as being their most significant life stressor. Work, health problems affecting family, family responsibilities, housing costs, relationships, personal health concerns, job stability, and personal safety rounded out the list.
4. Stress affects how people cope. As compared to a survey conducted in 2007, Americans are now using healthy coping strategies less frequently. Things like exercise were cited less than more sedentary activities such as listening to music. Other unhealthy strategies such as drinking, smoking, or gambling were reported by some to be believed to be effective for managing stress. Such results suggest that while people report they are handling their stress appropriately, they would benefit from additional, healthier coping strategies.

Do you see yourself in any of these results? Given that these findings are based on a survey of the general American population, I’m guessing we can all find something from our own lives in what is described above. After all, haven’t you recently had a discussion with your neighbor, co-worker, or friend about the instability in the economy, daily stressors, or even the physical or emotional side effects of stress? I think most of us have these topics on our minds fairly regularly. So now the question is: What can we do to improve our own stress levels and ur coping abilities?

The APA gives several suggestions and tips on managing stress. They suggest that coping with stress is a learned behavior, and therefore something that takes a conscious effort and practice. Here is what they have to say:

- Understand how you experience stress. Everyone experiences stress differently. How do you know when you are stressed? How are your thoughts or behaviors different from times when you do not feel stressed?
- Identify your sources of stress. What events or situations trigger stressful feelings? Are they related to your children, family, health, financial decisions, work, relationships or something else?
- Learn your own stress signals. People experience stress in different ways. You may have a hard time concentrating or making decisions, feel angry, irritable or out of control, or experience headaches, muscle tension or a lack of energy. Gauge your stress signals.
- Recognize how you deal with stress. Determine if you are using unhealthy behaviors (such as smoking, drinking alcohol and over/under eating) to cope. Is this a routine behavior, or is it specific to certain events or situations? Do you make unhealthy choices as a result of feeling rushed and overwhelmed?
- Find healthy ways to manage stress. Consider healthy, stress-reducing activities such as meditation, exercising or talking things out with friends or family. Keep in mind that unhealthy behaviors develop over time and can be difficult to change. Don't take on too much at once. Focus on changing only one behavior at a time.
- Take care of yourself. Eat right, get enough sleep, drink plenty of water and engage in regular physical activity. Ensure you have a healthy mind and body through activities like yoga, taking a short walk, going to the gym or playing sports that will enhance both your physical and mental health. Take regular vacations or other breaks from work. No matter how hectic life gets, make time for yourself — even if it's just simple things like reading a good book or listening to your favorite music.
- Reach out for support. Accepting help from supportive friends and family can improve your ability to manage stress. If you continue to feel overwhelmed by stress, you may want to talk to a psychologist, who can help you better manage stress and change unhealthy behaviors.

We will continue to explore these tips in future posts, but want to get you thinking about them now. The take-home message from the APA survey seems to be twofold: (1) You are not alone in your experience of a stressful life. The “Stress in America” findings indicate that higher levels of stress and more difficulty managing imbalance is a common experience for most Americans today. Sometimes knowing that we are not the only ones struggling is a relief. (2) There is room for improvement. While we may think, in our society, that we are coping well with our stressors, this survey suggests that we can do much better. Additional methods of balancing in the juggle are available and proven to be effective, so start thinking about your own life and ways you can start to implement the tips given above.

We would love to hear your feedback. What do you think about the “Stress in America” survey? Where do you see yourself?

Finding Time to Sit Down

2009-11-14T18:29:00.004-05:00

photo by Rennett Stowe

“Meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet. It’s a way of entering into the quiet that’s already there—buried under the 50,000 thoughts the average person thinks every day.” Deepak Chopra, M.D.

As Dana described in our earlier post this week, very often we find ourselves out of balance and typically we pick up on the signs and realize that we need to get ourselves back on track. Different techniques and tools work for different people: some of us like to go get a massage, others need to spend a relaxing day in nature or go to the movies with friends. Although I enjoy all of the above, the tool that helps me relax and unwind on daily basis is meditation. Many people express an interest in trying meditation. However, if you have never done meditation or read about it, it may seem a little unapproachable. I wanted to devote this time to introducing you to meditation and its benefits.

Definition. There are so many definitions of meditation. Here is my version: it is a mental discipline that allows you to explore your internal world bringing a variety of physical, psychological and spiritual benefits. We spend the majority of our day and our life looking outside, so this is an opportunity to explore what’s inside all of us.
Origin. Meditation is not “New Age.” It has been practiced for over 5,000 years (references to it are found in old Indian texts). The practice of meditation has been found in many major religions, so you do not have to belong to a certain religious tradition to practice it. Nowadays, meditation, similar to yoga, is becoming increasingly popular in the Western world as a way to reduce stress.
How does meditation work? Major universities are studying the connection between meditation and brain activity. There are some interesting findings. For example, researchers at the University of Wisconsin found that meditators (experienced and novice) showed increases in electrical activity in the left frontal part of the brain, which is associated with emotional well-being. Researchers at Harvard University found that cortical regions of the brain related to attention & sensory processing were thicker in meditators vs. non-meditators. We know that as we age the cortical part of the brain becomes thinner, so it is possible that meditation may offset cortical thinning due to aging. The good news is that the changes in the brain activity are present even outside meditation, so they can help you throughout the day.
Benefits. Research findings that support the benefits of meditation are growing (more than 1,500 studies on PubMed). Interestingly, this research only confirms what sages and riches knew through their actual experience of this technique thousands of years ago.
o Meditation has been widely used as the antidote to stress.
o It helps to decrease blood pressure, reduce production of stress hormones, improve digestion and sleep.
o You may also experience a better mood, better relationships and an ability to change your habits a little easier (you just become much more aware of them).
o At the spiritual level, meditation gives an opportunity to ask yourself some fundamental questions that we rarely ask ourselves: Who am I? What is my purpose?
Barriers. Often people try meditation and quit because they experience one the of following:
o “I cannot stop thinking.” We are human beings and we are supposed to think due to the nature of our nervous system. Meditation is not about stopping your thoughts. In fact, the more you try to stop them, the more persistent they will become. Instead, try to observe your thoughts, and accept them to be part of you. Sometimes, you will have quiet meditations and other times, they will be a little more active. Your body and mind know what they need, so they will gratefully use the time you provide to unwind and decompress. I think about meditation as a way to defragment my mind (similar to a computer): let go of thoughts that are not nourishing and keep what seems to be helpful.
o “I don’t have enough time.” You can start with only 10 minutes a day, and you may find some benefits. Thirty minutes of meditation equate to 1 hour of sleep, so you can potentially get up a little earlier, meditate and feel more rested than you would if you just slept in.
o “I must sit in a lotus position and shave my head.” It may be your choice, but you don’t have to do it. I cannot sit in a lotus position and the most important part is to be comfortable. Haircut is entirely up to you.
o “I need to mediate for years before I will see any benefits.” New meditators and those around them notice changes within weeks of regular meditation.
Ready to try? Here is a very simple meditation that you can do anywhere and it costs absolutely nothing:
o Sit down and make sure you are comfortable. If you want, you can light a candle or incense that you like.
o Close your eyes.
o Inhale for a count of five, exhale for a count of 5… and repeat it 5 or more times.
o Notice your breath. See if you can notice your next inhale and your exhale. Keep attention on your breath.
o Your thoughts will start coming up; as you notice them, gently go back to your breath. So, the meditation will be the flow between your thoughts and breathing.
o You can start with 10 minutes and you increase it to 30 minutes. Ideally, you would do it in the morning to prepare you for the day and in the evening (before dinner) to help you relax and process the day. But, do what you can!
If you want a little more help, consider getting a certified instructor to teach you. See if you can find one in your area. If you are in Charlotte, NC, I will be happy to help. Email me at mshafiro@choprateachers.com

Finding Balance Through Imbalance

2009-11-11T20:27:00.002-05:00

A big WELCOME to Dana who is guest writing for us today! She shares her thoughts and insights about finding balance, and as a work-at-home mom with a young son, she has a lot of experience. We are excited to have her with us today, and look forward to learning more from her in the future.

Photo by Anywayzzz

While I was desperately trying to find time to write this piece last month, it occurred to me that I did not appear to be a poster child for balance. In fact, my life probably looked pretty out of whack. By the end of the month, I was exhausted, my house was a wreck, my to-do list was running off the page, and I was behind on my work.

Every weekend in October saw me rushing around, hurriedly preparing for and entertaining houseguests – cleaning, planning a menu, stocking the pantry, cooking homemade meals, arranging for interesting outings, and so on. The parade of visitors meant little downtime to recharge or take care of mundane but necessary life tasks that seem only to accumulate. Further, I work from home while caring for my young son, and I often work on the weekends. With the weekends consumed by family and friends, I found myself working nights and still getting behind both on sleep and my assignments. I nevertheless stubbornly refused to put down my book before bed or to give up my 5 a.m. run in the interest of getting sufficient rest.

None of that seems very balanced, and yet I would argue that periods of imbalance are necessary to achieving balance overall in our lives. Balance is not a state you reach and maintain – it is a dynamic and ongoing process. Sometimes temporary imbalances are necessary to promoting balance across time. Being out of balance can also illustrate for us where we need to make changes in order to promote long-term wellbeing. It’s a matter of knowing your priorities and making day to day decisions that are aligned with your big-picture goals. It also means keeping a positive attitude when you have to make tradeoffs. The key to balance – to everything, it sometimes seems – is in awareness. In knowing what is important to you, and in being present enough in your moments to chose actions that support those things, even when the choice paradoxically promotes temporary imbalance.

As a family, it is important to us to spend time with our loved ones. Though realizing that priority meant last month was a bit hectic, in the grand scheme of things, accepting a little craziness allowed us to see the people we care about the most – which is far more important than tackling a few chores or scratching off a couple of tasks on a never-ending to-do list. I also highly value the little bit of “me time” that I get these days. In the short term I was willing to sacrifice a few hours of sleep to ensure I got that time. I have learned the hard way that I am more recharged by some discretionary time than I am by an extra hour of sleep. I also knew that this period of imbalance would end, and I would find myself caught up on work and sleep and missing the hubbub of a house full of friends and family, which helped me stay positive when I was tired or feeling overwhelmed.

As a work-at-home mom, the need to constantly balance two of my life roles is ever-present. It can be overwhelming at times to try to focus on the needs of a toddler when I can hear my work line ringing or see an email that seems to require an immediate response. This physical juxtaposition of work and family makes salient to me the universal need to be present in the moment so that you can make an intuitive judgment about which activity is truly important or urgent and should therefore take priority. Sometimes it will be work, and sometimes it will be the baby – sometimes it will be sleep, other times the morning run. Maybe for others it means sacrificing a vacation day to pursue volunteer work, or turning down a job transfer to be closer to an aging parent. Balance doesn’t mean equal time spent in our different roles or activities – it means allocating our resources in a way that makes us happier, better people.

Engaging in this ongoing balancing act requires awareness – not just in the moment, but in how those moments accumulate. At the end of the day, week, or month, what did you prioritize most often? Were those choices in alignment with your big-picture priorities and goals? If not, what can you do differently next time?

More Balance

2009-11-06T21:27:00.002-05:00

We are excited to welcome guest writer, David, back again! A dedicated consultant, family man, and friend, he faces many challenges in balancing it all, but strives to find time to enjoy these various aspects of his life. He is a man of many hobbies, in addition to his work and family roles, and is an avid sportsman with archery hunting and fly-fishing being his favorites. We are thrilled to read more about David’s perspective on :simple:balance:.

Photo by Camp ASCCA

As we move from a season of haunts and haints to a season of thanksgiving, I wonder if I am blessed with a more balanced life than I perceive. Do I take note of and cherish the opportunities that I have to engage in what I enjoy? Do I feel and express gratitude for those experiences enough? Am I so focused on feeling overwhelmed or burdened with my various life roles and responsibilities that I forget why I made them a part of my life to start with?

I ask myself these questions, sort of, as a self-test. I am afraid that there are many situations in which I have time with my family, but I don't soak it up like I should. And then I complain that I don’t have enough quality time with my loved ones. I am afraid that the time I have to myself is spent trying to do as much as possible instead of just enjoying my surroundings and taking a break from "the grind." And then my focus is on how little me-time I believe I have. I am afraid that I have more balance in my life than I give it credit for.

I think we all may find that our lives are more balanced than we realize if we just take the time to focus on what we are doing in the present moment and do it with vigor and passion. I have learned that an important aspect of feeling balanced is based on how I perceive my life. If I am more aware of the blessings I have, the quality of my relationships and work, and the value I place on all of these things, I am sure to feel more balance. On the reverse side, though, if my attention is on how little time I have, how stressed I feel, or all of the things I am missing out on, I will feel less balanced.

This Thanksgiving season I intend on doing my job with extra focus, absorbing every moment with my wife, daughter, and family, making my extracurricular activities a ton of FUN, and just living a healthy lifestyle. I think I am obligated to all of these things because I have truly been blessed in so many ways. How about you? How can you change your perceptions in order to find more balance?

Organic Produce Storage Tips

2009-11-03T20:38:00.003-05:00

As we've covered here before at :simple:balance:, one key to finding balance is through what we put into our bodies - our food and nutrition. Most experts recommend that we eat organic food whenever possible to maximize vitamins and nutrients and minimize toxic chemicals. Because organic food can be more expensive than non-organic, it is important to ensure that we get the most out of our money and our food - both important for feeling balanced! Aundrea Tucker is back with us today to share some of her ideas about how to make our organic produce last longer.

Photo by Imapix

Did you know that if placed in the refrigerator while firm kiwifruit will last up to six months?!

Want to ripen your pears? Place them in a plastic bag with a couple of ripe bananas. Bananas give off ethylene gas, which ripens other fruit.

Don’t you hate it when you when you buy all the right foods, but it goes all wrong when you’re unable to eat them before they go bad? Here are some tips to keep your organic produce ready to eat for as long as possible.

APPLES
Apples ripen quickly at room temperature; ten times as fast as an apple kept at 32* Fahrenheit. Store apples in a plastic bag in the refrigerator away from strong odored foods such as cabbage or onions to prevent flavor transfer.

BANANAS
Do not refrigerate bananas until they are ripe. When you put them into the refrigerator they will turn black, but the insides will ripen slower. To ripen green bananas, put them into a plastic bag, seal it and place the bag in a warm place like on top of your refrigerator. This will cause the bananas to heat up which speeds the ripening process.

GRAPES
Grapes are harvested only when fully ripe. Before storing, remove any spoiled grapes with broken skins or browning from the bunch and keep refrigerated; they should keep up to a week. During storage, continue to remove any and all spoiled fruit. Grapes can also be frozen, extending their storage life up to three months.

KIWI
Very firm kiwifruit can be kept in the refrigerator for up to 6 months. Kiwifruit won't keep for nearly as long in the refrigerator after it begins to ripen. To ripen firm kiwis, leave them at room temperature, but away from heat or direct sunlight, for a few days to a week. Hasten ripening by placing them in a paper bag with an apple, pear, or banana. Once a kiwi fruit is ripe, however, store it far from other fruits, as it is very sensitive to the ethylene gas they emit, and tends to overripe even in the refrigerator. Ripe kiwis should keep for about one to two weeks.

MANGO
Leave under ripe mangoes at cool room temperature for a few days to soften and sweeten--very warm temperatures can cause an off-flavor to develop. Place two mangoes in a paper bag to speed ripening (or, if you don't have two mangoes, put another fruit such as an apple or banana in with the mango). Ripe mangoes will keep for two to three days in the refrigerator.

MELON
Whole ripe or cut melons can be stored in the refrigerator for about three days. Cut melons should be wrapped tightly in plastic. Leave the seeds inside a cut melon until you're ready to eat it to help keep the melon moist.

PEARS
Ripen pears at room temperature in a sealed plastic bag with a couple of ripe bananas. When the pear is ripe, refrigerate until you are ready to eat it. Product that is extremely hard will ripen best at room temperature.

ORANGES
Store oranges in a cool place outside the refrigerator and try to eat them within a few days. If you need to keep them longer, refrigerate in a plastic bag or in the vegetable crisper section of the refrigerator.

STRAWBERRIES
Strawberries are extremely perishable and should be refrigerated immediately. Store unwashed strawberries in the refrigerator by stacking them on paper towels (between the layers as well), in a moisture-proof container. Eat them within 48-72 hours, or freeze them.

BROCCOLI
Store broccoli in the high-humidity vegetable crisper of your refrigerator for up to three days. Refresh broccoli in ice water to maintain its bright green color if you're not using it right away or are making a cold presentation.

CABBAGE
Head cabbage stored in a plastic bag in the refrigerator's humid vegetable bin will last at least a week. Savoy and Napa cabbages should be consumed within three or four days.

CARROTS w/TOPS
Before storing carrots, remove their green tops, rinse, drain, and put the carrots in plastic bags and store them in the coldest part of the refrigerator with the highest humidity. They'll last several months this way.

CAULIFLOWER
Cauliflower should be placed in a plastic bag and stored in your refrigerator crisper. When stored properly, cauliflower will last up to five days; however, it is best when eaten within three days.

CELERY
To store celery, trim the base and remove any leaves or ribs that are damaged or bruised. Rinse, place in a plastic bag, and keep in the refrigerator's humid vegetable bin, and it will last about two weeks.

CHARD
Refrigerate in plastic wrap up to 2 days. Rainbow Chard is pretty colorful Chard with yellow, pink, orange, white, and red veins.

COLLARDS
Wrap unwashed greens in damp paper towels. Refrigerate in a plastic bag, in the crisper, up to 5 days.

CORN
Corn is best eaten immediately. However, it can be stored in the refrigerator for a few days in plastic bags with the husk still on.

GREEN BEANS
Place green beans in a perforated plastic bag or paper bag and store them in the refrigerator crisper for up to five days.

LETTUCE
Refrigerate unwashed leaves in a plastic bag in the vegetable drawer. A plastic bag from the grocery store is sufficient. Lettuce will keep for up to 5 days. Do not store lettuce with melons, apples, pears, or other ethylene gas-emitting fruits as they will cause the lettuce to turn brown.

ONIONS
Store onions in a dry, dark, well-ventilated place; not in the refrigerator.

PEPPERS
They can be stored for at least a week if placed in a plastic bag and kept in the refrigerator. The riper the pepper is when harvested, the less time it will maintain its freshness.

POTATOES
Potatoes like cool (45* F to 50* F) humid (but not wet) surroundings, but refrigeration can turn the starch in the potatoes to sugar and may tend to darken them when cooked.

SPINACH
When you get bunched spinach home, untie it, remove any blemished leaves, trim off the stems, and wash it thoroughly in cold water. Repeat if necessary until you're sure all the grit is gone. Spin dry in a salad spinner or drain well, then put into clean plastic bags very loosely wrapped with paper towels. It will last only two to three days, so plan on eating your rinsed spinach right away. Cold, moist surroundings, as low as 32*F and about 95% humidity are the best for storing spinach.

SUMMER SQUASH
Place in a plastic bag and refrigerate for 3-5 days.

WINTER HARD SQUASHES
Butternut, Acorn, Spaghetti Store squash in a cool, preferably dark, well-ventilated area for up to one month. Wrap cut pieces in plastic and refrigerate up to five days.

TOMATOES
Keep tomatoes at room temperature until ripened. Once ripened, tomatoes will last for two to three days. If necessary, tomatoes can be refrigerated in vegetable bin for approximately one week. Try to avoid refrigerating tomatoes whenever possible. Tomatoes will lose their flavor once stored below 55.

Restful Sleep is the Key to Balance

2009-10-31T22:27:00.004-04:00

Photo by Jsome1

Although scientists are still not sure why exactly we need to sleep at night, they do know that without sleep we experience a variety of physical and psychological disturbances. If we do not get enough sleep, we may be more susceptible to getting sick, we may find ourselves more irritable and not have enough energy to focus on our daily activities. According to Ayurveda, the 5,000 year old healing system, during sleep we recharge and connect to the universe. I think about sleep as an opportunity to recharge, just like we recharge our cell phones by connecting them to the electricity overnight. Approximately 70 million of people in the USA suffer from some sleeping disorders. Many people suffering from insomnia or other sleep disorders dread bedtime. There are many medications available that may offer some relief. However, along with the relief comes a variety of side effects and a possible addiction to sleeping pills. There are quite a few simple techniques that you can be helpful in getting a good night sleep. One of the things we discussed earlier is how food can affect your sleep. Here are some other things to consider:

Eat a light dinner between 5-7PM or at least three hours before your bedtime. If you eat too close to your bedtime, your body will be too busy metabolizing the food. It would be more difficult for you to fall asleep and to get good rest.

Favor light activities in the evening. Naturally, we tend to slow down at night, so try to go with the flow. Go for a walk, read something light, listen to a relaxing music. Minimize doing work or watching too much TV (especially, in bed).

Establish a relaxing routine before going to bed: e.g., taking a bath, reading some poetry.

Diffuse a relaxing fragrance such as lavender, vanilla or chamomile in your bedroom. Use this aroma only at bedtime, so you develop an association between the pleasant smell and going to bed.

Prepare a hot bath for yourself and put a few drops of the same essential aroma oil you are diffusing into the bath water. Turn down the lights, light a candle and take a leisurely bath.

Before or after the bath, give yourself and oil massage, paying special attention to your feet and scalp. I often massage my feet right before I get in bed.

After your bath, drink a cup of hot preferably organic milk seasoned with nutmeg and cardamom or a cup of hot chamomile or valerian tea.

Go directly to bed, allowing your attention to be on your breath as you fall asleep.

If you still cannot fall asleep and find your mind is preoccupied with everything you have to do, write down your to-do list or anything else that is on your mind. I keep a journal next to my bed.

Hours of sleep before midnight are more rejuvenating. You will feel more rested if you sleep between 10PM-6AM than 12AM and 8AM. If you typically go to bed later than 10PM, start out by slowly shifting to an earlier bedtime (maybe 15 minutes earlier, than ½ hour, etc.)

Let us know what works particularly well for you to have a good night sleep.

Gratitude

2009-10-27T21:56:00.005-04:00

Photo by Connie Sue2

I have a sign in my office at work with a single word on it: “Gratitude.” It sits on the bulletin board over my desk, where I see it multiple times a day, partly as a reminder and partly as a challenge. A reminder that yes, I have a LOT in my life to be grateful for. It is easy to forget that when the paperwork piles up, phone calls are coming in rapidly, and I feel I don’t have the energy to talk with one more person. But that simple sign also serves as a daily challenge to myself. When all those deadlines and responsibilities are looming around me, can I maintain some focus on the things I am grateful for? Like the fact that I have a job that I love?

It takes a conscious effort for most of us to really find and nourish gratitude in our lives. We are surrounded by a culture of complaints, perceived problems, and negativity that interfere with automatic gratuitous thoughts and ideas. Just listen to the evening news on most television stations for a quick reminder that being thankful is not where many of us focus. But that does not mean that it isn’t possible… or that it wouldn’t be healthy.

A recent study by a Psychology professor and student at York University (Myriam Mongrain, Ph.D. and Susan Sergeant), found that listing five things a day that someone is grateful for can decrease depression and increase well-being for people who tend to focus on negative things in life. Even other positive exercises (e.g., listening to uplifting music) did not elicit the same increase in well-being as journaling gratitude did. These results suggest that there is something inherent in being thankful that enhances our lives.

People have recognized the benefit of gratitude for centuries. Prayer for the spiritually religious focuses on giving thanks, holiday traditions such as Thanksgiving encourage gratitude, and handwritten “thank you” notes to someone who has shown kindness expresses appreciation. But sometimes we forget to be grateful for the seemingly minimal things in our everyday routines. Perhaps that is why something like a gratitude journal, as the participants in the above study kept, can be extremely helpful in keeping us mindful of the things we are thankful for every day. If you are interested in trying a gratitude journal, here are some ways to start:

1. Don’t make your gratitude journal just “something else on your to-do list,” or it will feel like a task rather than a journey toward well-being. Remind yourself about the benefits of feeling grateful for the various things in your life, and approach your journal with an open mind.

2. Set aside time each day for your gratitude journal. When will you realistically be most likely to work on it? If you are an early riser, perhaps this is something you could spend some time with in the morning. Maybe sitting down with your journal at night is more feasible and will allow you some time to review your day with a focus on the positive. Either way, choose a time that works for you, devote 5-10 minutes to it, and make it a part of your routine.

3. Use an actual journal. A non-expensive notebook works fine – just designate it exclusively for your thoughts about gratitude. Keep it somewhere that you can easily access it, and if possible, see it throughout the day as a reminder. Also, hand-written journals can be more emotionally meaningful than something type-written. There is something about seeing our thoughts in our own handwriting that is especially important. So while an electronic journal may be easy, it might not fully accomplish the goal here.

4. Write down 5 things each day that you are grateful for. Be specific and look for small things in your day that you can include. If you strive to identify 5 different things each day, you will quickly run through the usual “family, home, health” choices and have to become more creative. Maybe you are thankful for a new copy machine at work that has made your job much easier, or a new recipe for brownies shared by a dear friend. Similarly, think about things in your life that initially may seem negative, but that you can find some gratitude in. For example: “I am grateful for that driver who cut me off in traffic this afternoon because he reminded me about the importance of safe and defensive driving.”

5. Think about your gratitude journal throughout the day. Using this technique will not only force you to find things you are thankful for while writing them down, but will also encourage you to look for these things throughout your day. If you know you have to come up with 5 original choices tomorrow morning, you will start to search them out regularly. Doing so instills a feeling of well-being at times you may not typically expect it. (For example, while driving in traffic, as noted above!).

With the holidays quickly approaching, gratitude may be on your mind more now than at other times of the year. I have fond childhood memories of going around the Thanksgiving Day dinner table with each family member identifying something we were grateful for. But the sentiment usually faded quickly… (often before dessert, because I knew I would soon have to help clean up all those dishes!). A daily reminder that, despite hardships and a life that seems out of balance, we can all find something to be grateful for is valuable. Take an opportunity today to start your own gratitude journal, and begin searching for your life treasures.

Leave us a comment and let us know something you are grateful for today.

Health Week: A Review & Challenge

2009-10-23T21:55:00.005-04:00

Health Week at :simple:balance: is coming to a close, but we hope that the information presented here has been just a stepping stone on your journey to wellness and balance. Perhaps as a reminder of things that you already knew but needed some reinforcement to put back into place, or maybe as new information that you are ready to implement. We have talked about using natural strategies for prevention, specific remedies for illness, and how to maintain some balance when the inevitable sickness strikes. There is a lot more that we plan to cover about wellness in the future, but we hope the focus this week has been helpful, especially during this season of potential illness.

Maintaining your health and that of your loved ones is essential, not just to overall wellness, but especially to finding balance in the juggle of life. Try some of the simple steps shared here over the last week and notice the benefit you find. As a challenge, we would like to encourage you to take a few minutes this weekend to think through your usual routine and make at least one change with a goal of working towards health and balance. Perhaps it is a natural prevention strategy or planning for illness in the future. Or maybe it is an improvement in your nutrition and diet. If you have time this weekend, try this recipe from Aundrea Tucker, our resident nutrition expert. Fall vegetables are packed with nutrients and make for a yummy meal to sit down to.

Enjoy and have a healthful weekend!

Photo by Dulcedo Blog

Roasted Root Vegetables

Prep time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 25-35 minutes
Yield: 4-6 servings

Ingredients:
1 sweet potato
2 parsnips
2 carrots
2 turnips or 1 large rutabaga
1 daikon radish (or substitute/add in your favorites, like squash)
grapeseed oil (or another oil appropriate for high heat such as almond, sesame, or sunflower oil)
salt and pepper
herbs: rosemary, thyme or sage (fresh if possible)

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Wash and chop all vegetables into large bite-sized pieces.
3. Place in a large baking dish with sides.
4. Drizzle with oil; mix well to coat each vegetable lightly with oil.
5. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and herbs.
6. Bake uncovered for 25-35 minutes until vegetables are tender and golden brown, checking every 10 minutes to stir and make sure veggies are not sticking.

Note: Any combination of vegetables will work. Roasting only one kind of vegetable also makes a nice side dish.

Juggling Illness

2009-10-22T21:40:00.007-04:00

Photo by urbanphotographer

In theory, if we follow healthy recommendations for hand-washing, good nutrition, and other ways of avoiding germs, we should be illness-free this season. But we all know that the inevitable happens, and the chances are that most of us will end up feeling under the weather (or being impacted by someone else who does) at some point this year.

Being sick puts a wrench in the juggle of life and work and really makes finding balance even more difficult. Not only do we feel badly, but we also can’t keep pace with our usual, finely tuned schedule. Responsibilities pile up, phone calls and emails remain unanswered, and the stock of canned soup in the pantry disappears. Or perhaps we aren’t the ones who are sick, but rather someone close to us (e.g., child, partner, friend) or someone we are dependent on (e.g., child caretaker, co-worker) is. Any of the above scenarios can wreak havoc on balance, so it is vital to have a game-plan with some ideas for how to handle an illness scenario. Here are some suggestions:

1. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Sure, we can never be completely ready for illness when it strikes, but if we do some preparation and thinking beforehand, we might feel more able to cope when it comes. (There will be things like chronic illness or catastrophic injuries that are life-changing and are impossible to predict, but here we are talking more about run-of-the-mill fevers and flus.) Think about and plan for the following:
:: If you have children, how will your childcare be impacted by illness in the family? If you are sick, how will they get to school? How will they be cared for while you are bed-ridden? If they are sick, who will stay home with them? How will they get to the doctor? If someone is contagious, how will you try to prevent the spread of germs at home? If your childcare provider is sick, do you have a back-up?
:: Do you have supplies on-hand for illness? Medications, food, drinks, and other supplies are very important during times of illness, and not having them readily available can be a problem. The last thing you want in the middle of the night is to realize your thermometer isn’t working while you have a feverish, crying baby! Take stock of what you have, throw out anything that is expired or not working properly, and re-stock. Keep some comfort items around, as well – special teas, heating pads, a good magazine, and the like can make a day in bed a bit less miserable.
:: How will you notify your job if you have to be out because of illness (your own or a loved one’s), and how will your duties be covered? It is always helpful to have a contingency plan for this sort of thing. Keep telephone numbers or email addresses with you that you can use to contact your boss or someone else at work. Have a general plan for how your duties will be covered, recognizing that every scenario won’t be predictable.

2. Organize yourself. As mentioned above, keeping supplies on-hand at home and contact information for anyone who would be impacted by illness is important. Have this information stored somewhere that is easily accessible (e.g., address book, cell phone), and notify another reliable adult in your life of where it is, in case they need to access it if you are not able to.

3. Know how your sick leave (or lack thereof) works at your job. While laying in bed with a fever and stomach ache is not the time to talk with your human resources department about your benefits. Understand what you need to do administratively if you have a sick family member that you are caring for. Know how you should request time off for unexpected illnesses. Similarly to preparing for responsibility coverage at your job, having an understanding of how your time off is managed is helpful to know ahead of time.

4. Stay home if you are sick! We have all heard this before, and most of us have probably shown up at the office anyway. I know I have. The truth is (I can now say retrospectively) that we are NOT productive when we are sick. Yes, we may be able to make a few phone calls or send some emails that will get things done… but in the process we are potentially making ourselves worse, and we are certainly spreading germs to others. Other people around you do NOT want you to be at work when you are sick. Sometimes , folks around us are more susceptible to illness or have conditions that they have not publicly shared. So while you think you are just carrying around a cold, realize that your illness could be life-threatening to someone else. Keep your germs to yourself and avoid spreading them!

5. Ditto #4 for your kids and other loved ones. Don’t let children go to school sick and encourage a spouse or friend to stay at home. Even if it means more stress for you temporarily.

6. Listen to your body and rest. I can’t tell you how often I have gotten sick after a particularly stressful time in my life; my body was definitely communicating with me in those situations. When our lives are out of balance, we suffer emotionally and physically, and our immune systems are compromised. We have talked before about ways to prevent that from happening, but when it does, take note and give your body what it needs: rest. You will heal faster and be able to get back to your juggle sooner and more effectively if you actually take the time to relax.

This list of suggestions is certainly not exhaustive. We are interested in hearing from you too. What helps you to maintain balance while coping with illness?

Staying Healthy Through Natural Prevention

2009-10-21T21:46:00.005-04:00

Photo by willy_ochayaus

Most of us realize more and more that the way to stay healthy is through prevention. According to Ayurveda (from Sanskrit, “the wisdom of life”), a 5,000 year-old healing system, being mindful of your health is even more important during the time when seasons change (especially, summer to the fall/winter season). There are a lot of conventional medicine methods that may be helpful (taking extra vitamin C, flu shots, etc.), but there are additional simple, wise, and natural ways of staying healthy that Ayurveda and other traditional medicines offer. Most of the suggestions below may come to us intuitively, especially, if we are in touch with our body and mind:

The fall season is often cold and dry (look at the leaves; they are drying out). The best way to nourish ourselves is by eating warm foods: soups, stews, roasted root vegetables (beets, sweet potatoes, turnips, pumpkins) and fewer cold foods (raw salads, cold sandwiches).

Avoid cold drinks. I know it sounds unheard of when every single restaurant serves us drinks with lots of ice. Ice cold drinks shock our system and slow down our metabolism, because the energy is wasted on heating the liquid up to the body temperature that is most suitable for effective digestion. Instead, sip on a warm herbal tea or even warm or room temperature water throughout the day.

Stay warm by dressing appropriately. It is so important to dress yourself and kids in warm clothes. There is an old saying, “There is no bad weather, but there is bad and inappropriate clothes.”

Consider performing a quick (5-10 minutes) daily self-massage right before the shower or after the shower (depending on how dry you feel). You can use a sesame oil (regular, not toasted) if you tend to be cold, or coconut oil if you tend to be warm. Most health food stores carry these. The basic thing to remember is to massage vigorously on long bones (e.g., leg, arms) and to go in circular clockwise motions on connections and joins (e.g., knees, elbows, shoulders). Research shows that we have endorphins and many other naturally occurring chemicals in our skin (the largest organ of our body). By activating this natural pharmacy, we are strengthening our immune system and are more likely to be in a good mood. If you don’t have a lot of time, just do a quick head and foot massage. Another alternative is to do it before you go to bed, which may help you fall asleep.

Are you suffering from a stuffy nose or allergies, especially in the morning? Consider using a Neti pot, which was even featured on the Oprah Show. The Neti pot with a little bit of salt water will clear up your passages. It is very important to lubricate your nostrils with a few drops of oil (e.g., sesame) after you use a neti pot to create a thin layer that will prevent bacteria from entering your nasal passage. This is also a great method to avoid over-drying on airplanes. To make this process easier and less messy, consider using the Neti pot during your shower.

Don’t let the cold stop you from exercising. Bundle up and take your family for a walk! During the day (on the weekend, for instance) you can enjoy the beautiful foliage and clear sky. At night (if you go for a walk after dinner), you can see the beautiful night sky, which is especially clear in the fall and winter, smell fireplaces in the air and hear the pleasant crumble of the leaves or snow under you feet. Then, you can come back to your warm cozy home and enjoy a cup of tea with a cookie (if you wish).

Enjoy the sun when it is out. As a nation, we are very vitamin D deficient and of course, the deficiency increases in the winter months. Although there are some good supplements (D3), they cannot completely substitute the sunshine. Come outside for 10 minutes of unprotected sunshine (short periods of time should be safe from the skin care perspective).

Laugh often. This is good for any season. Laughter is one of the best medicines that helps support our immune system. Instead of watching a horror movie, choose a comedy. Or find humor in everyday situations even if your first reaction is a stress response.

Sore Throat Home Remedies

2009-10-20T21:59:00.002-04:00

We are thrilled to welcome Kathy Hope, Ph.D. who is sharing information about some tried and true home remedies. In honor of Health Week here at :simple:balance:, she focuses on sore throats, often the first sign that something isn't right with our health.

Photo by Alejandrooo!

About a week ago, I noticed that I was getting a sore throat. I immediately panicked as I observed the chorus of thoughts that seems so commonplace during the cold and flu season: “Oh no, am I sick?” “Am I getting the flu?” and “I can’t afford to be sick – I have too much to do!” You know the drill…

So at once I began planning my attack: mentally running through the list of home remedies I’d received from friends, family and other sources over the years. I’ve shared my top picks with you below.

Note: These methods are best implemented at the very first sign of discomfort. The remedies can 1) lessen the pain and 2) potentially shorten the length of time you experience a sore throat. As with all wellness techniques, listen to your body and do only what feels right to you!

1. Mix together 8 ounces warm water and 2-3 teaspoons salt. Gargle. Can do multiple times a day. (Source: My mom, from South Carolina)

2. Mince a 1x3 inch piece of fresh ginger, skinned. Boil in 2 cups water until liquid is reduced to 1 cup. Add tablespoon of honey and the juice of one lemon. Enjoy a soothing tea. Can do multiple times a day. (Source: Colleague from Hong Kong)

3. Sanitize hands thoroughly with warm soap and water and/or rubbing alcohol. Carefully reach a finger behind the uvula and flip it towards the front of your mouth. Do this once at the first sign of sore throat. (Source: Friend from Pakistan)

4. Boil together 2 cups water, 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper, and tablespoon of salt. Allow to cool just enough to comfortably gargle. Can be done several times a day. (Source: Internet)

5. Crush 25-30 black peppercorns. Boil in 2 cups water until liquid is reduced to 1 cup. Take as a tea. Do this once at the first sign of sore throat. (Source: Friend from India)

6. Mix 1/4 teaspoon ginger powder with 1 tablespoon honey. Swallow slowly, allowing the mixture to dissolve as it soothes your throat. Can do this once a day while symptoms persist. (Source: Friend from India)

7. If your sore throat is associated with post nasal drip or sinus congestion, try nasal irrigation with the neti pot. It’s best to use this method in the morning to allow for any residual water/mucus to drain. Can be done daily. (Source: Yoga teacher from Salt Lake City, UT)

If you have additional tried and true remedies that you would like to share, please leave a comment here and spread the wealth of knowledge!

Kathy Hope, Ph.D. is a certified yoga instructor currently practicing most of her yoga *between the ears,* with some time on the mat. She a psychologist, management consultant, and the single mother of an active 5-1/2 year-old son.

Health Week at :simple:balance:

2009-10-19T22:19:00.002-04:00

Photo by StripMyMind

It is that time of year – the months when all of us “germophobes” bathe ourselves in antibacterial gel, avoid touching elevator buttons, and try not to breathe while on a plane. It is flu season! (Or more accurately, cold-ear infection-strep throat-stomach flu-overall yuckiness season). Illness is a huge hurdle at any time of the year to finding balance between work and life. After all, if we are sick, someone in our family is sick, or someone at work is under the weather, our juggle quickly becomes lopsided and harder to manage.

Since many of us have things like H1N1 and flu shots on our minds, we thought it only appropriate to address the issues of illness and work-life balance here. So, welcome to Health Week at :simple:balance:! We will be tackling the topic of sickness, how to avoid it, and how to manage it when the inevitable occurs… all with the idea that health can be simple. So, wash your hands, take an extra dose of vitamin C, and join us this week to talk about how to manage germs in your juggle.

To start off, what have you found to help manage illness while striving for balance?

Creating Flexibility at Work

2009-10-16T20:41:00.002-04:00

Photo by nelu_b

Research tells us that perceived flexibility in the workplace increases job satisfaction, job performance, and ultimately job retention. These, in turn, impact a person’s individual satisfaction and performance at home, together suggesting that having a flexible work life improves one’s overall sense of balance and well-being. Some companies and employers have been forced in recent years to allow more flexibility on the job. Factors such as commutes, improved technology, and demands of a younger workforce have influenced decisions by many leaders to take note of their employees’ desires and offer more flexibility. Those managers/employers who are informed about work-life balance also know what is described above: more flexibility = happier and more committed employees = satisfied customers and better business outcomes.

Perhaps you are one of those people who work for a company that is flexible and allows you to make some changes to a traditional work schedule in order to meet your needs. A recent survey by the Society for Human Resource Management revealed that many companies are offering flexible work arrangements such as part-time/reduced hours schedules, telecommuting, compressed work weeks (i.e., working four 10-hour days per week instead of five 8-hour days), break arrangements, and job-sharing, to name a few. While these changes in the workplace require some preparation by management, what studies show, is that the initial extra work pays off significantly for the company. Employees are more satisfied, more productive, and more likely to stay with the company. It ends up being a win-win for everyone.

What if you are one of those employees, though, who does not have a balance-savvy employer? What if flexible work arrangements are not offered at your workplace? How can you achieve some flexibility for yourself and maintain life satisfaction? Here are some suggestions on how to approach this topic with your employer and achieve more flexibility for yourself:

1. Educate yourself on the full range of possibilities for flexible work arrangements. Do a little research to see what other companies offer, especially those that are in your same field. The Society for Human Resource Management’s website is a great place to start.

2. Find out what is already offered at your place of work. Many employees don’t realize that their company offers flexible options because either they are not advertised, their supervisor may not be supporting them, or other employees do not take advantage of them. When I first started my job, I asked about making a slight change in my daily schedule in order to meet child-care needs. Several of my co-workers who had worked for the organization longer than me did not know they had an option of changing their hours. Since then, several of them have also utilized that flexibility.

3. Think about what kind of flexibility would meet your personal needs, and compare that to what would meet the needs of your business. What could you realistically change about your schedule that would allow you to meet the demands of your job, while also allowing more freedom to accomplish other tasks that are important (e.g., doctor’s appointments, kids’ school performances)?

4. Talk with your supervisor/boss/employer. It could be helpful to prepare an informal (or formal, depending on your boss) presentation/proposal about all of the benefits of flexible work arrangements to an organization. How will what you are suggesting help the company? Remember, even the most personable and likeable boss is going to care more about the impact of changes on the business’ success than about how they improve your personal life. When talking with him/her, keep that in mind, and focus your presentation on the benefits he/she will be interested in.

5. Maintain your work ethic and performance. A request or suggestion for more flexibility is not going to be very well-received from someone who is perceived to be a slacker or who is not performing up to standards. If you are a diligent and effective worker, your voice will be heard more clearly and your ideas will be taken more seriously.

6. Be patient. Changes in the workplace do not typically happen overnight. You may have to remain persistent, although not annoying, and continue bringing the subject up. Keep yourself informed about new research or ideas in the work world, and continue presenting those to the powers-that-be at your job.

7. Once you do get a more flexible schedule, keep frequent communication with your superiors, so they are well aware of everything you are working on. It wouldn’t hurt to have a weekly log of what you have accomplished.

Unfortunately, many people think that they cannot make changes in their workplace that will allow them more flexibility. But the truth is, someone has to ask about it and start the ball rolling. Most companies that utilize flexible work arrangements do so because of demand from employees. So educate yourself, come up with a plan for success, and assert your ideas. You may be surprised at how well they are received, and at how positively they impact you and your organization. When it comes to balance, flexibility is of the utmost importance.

Tell us, have you made changes at work to achieve more flexibility? If so, what has been successful? What have the challenges been?

Sit Down... Do Nothing

2009-10-13T22:13:00.006-04:00

photo by KoolPix

How often do you sit down and do absolutely nothing?

Of course, most of us would answer that we don’t have time to do nothing. But even if you do have a few free minutes, do you allow yourself to do nothing? In my experience, we are a society of “doers”; in other words, we do something or several things all the time. I think each one of us contributes to this fast pace of life. It starts early on in our childhood, when we are involved in many activities and seek entertainment all the time. How many times have you heard your children (or other people’s children) say, “I’m bored!” Do we ever teach our children to enjoy nothingness or boredom and just notice what’s going on in the present moment?

By the time we are adults, we often feel uncomfortable doing nothing. We like to do laundry, watch TV, talk on the phone and cook dinner - all at the same time. Even when we choose to relax and make nothingness the main form of entertainment, we manage to do something. I took a yoga class recently and during the last part of the class, students are typically asked to lay flat on their backs, close their eyes and enjoy the moment. As I was looking forward to this moment, I realized that we were not going to get it that time; rather, even the last few minutes of the class we were listening to loud music that focused our attention elsewhere. Even in a relaxation-oriented exercise, I found myself missing that experience of nothingness for a few minutes.

It seems like we need to train ourselves to do nothing sometimes. Breaks with ‘not doing’ may help us notice things around us, pay attention to our own deep needs/desires, and help us be a little more present in our relationships with others.

Here are a few suggestions for doing nothing (even if it is just 5-10 minutes a day or a week, you will notice the benefits). If you feel that your mind goes off wondering to all the tasks you need to accomplish, just notice it and give yourself a couple more minutes of doing nothing.

Sit down inside or outside and just look at the tree outside your window. Have your kids/partner/friend join you for a few minutes. Having a cup of tea with it sound like a great idea.
Come outside at night for a few minutes; look up and just gaze at the beautiful sky.
Take a walk without your phone or iPod; just notice nature, people, houses around you.
Eat one meal quietly, without TV, newspaper, or computer. Just taste the food and notice the feeling it creates in your body. You may actually find that you get full faster, because you are paying attention.
Sit down next to the fireplace and enjoy watching the flames and fire.
Get up and spend a few minutes sitting in your bed with your eyes closing and just feeling your body.
During work, take a break and take a few breaths and really feel each inhale and exhale.
Take a vacation where you don’t over-plan the number of activities. Just see what unfolds and enjoy the uncertainty of what each day may bring and feel like.
Play a game with your kids to enjoy the moment. Ask them to describe what they see, smell, touch.
Walk by a body of water and just enjoy it: smell the air, hear the waves crashing on the shore, put your feet, hands in the water.
Sit on a swing and enjoy the ride!
Give someone a hug and stay there for a few seconds… just surrender to the feeling of hugging and receiving a hug.

Please tell us your stories of doing nothing. What feels good?

Conscious Communication

2009-10-09T15:07:00.004-04:00

Photo by pinjuu

I come home and here it is AGAIN: the beautiful vacuum cleaner is parked in the middle of the room. My husband does a great job of vacuuming. However, he tends to leave the vacuum cleaner in the room for as long as one week (I timed it). Dyson manufacturer would probably love it, because its product is displayed in our living room most of the time. Some of you may even think that’s convenient to have the vacuum cleaner next to you all the time--- you never know when you need to have a quick touch up. That is not how I feel. The sight of the vacuum cleaner irritates me and makes me feel like we are never done with cleaning. Recently, my husband took it a step further and he separated the part of the vacuum that is filled with dirt and placed it next to the trashcan in the kitchen, the base of the vacuum was still in the living room. So, now I saw two images of the vacuum cleaner and as you may have guessed many thoughts (not very positive) went through my mind. Here is what used to come up in my dialogue, actually mostly monologue:

Scenario I (Reactive Response): I am talking to myself, “He (my husband) leaves things around all the time.” Internal voice, “Are you sure it is ALL the time?” Me: “Yes, positive. I am the only one who cares about order. He doesn’t appreciate me.” Out loud: “I cannot believe the vacuum cleaner is STILL everywhere! You never put anything away. I am the only one putting things away. I am tired of it.” How do you think my husband responds to this? Hard to be very positive (even if Dyson pays you a lot of money for displaying the vacuum) when you are being attacked and accused. Typically, it used to be something like this, “Why aren’t you happy when I vacuum? I don’t leave everything out all the time. It is going to get dirty again anyway.” So, needless to say, that the situation with the vacuum cleaner has been stale for a while with us having the same reactive responses.

Recently, I have read a great book by the psychologist Marshall Rosenberg on Conscious Communication. He developed a non-violent communication method that can be applied to any interaction (personal or business). His method has been used to find peace and resolution to conflicts in schools, businesses and even between world leaders. Given the credibility of the method, I hoped it would help our “Dyson situation.”

Marshall Rosenberg suggests considering four questions whenever we experience emotional turbulence in our communication:

What just happened? Coming into present moment awareness, distinguish your evaluations from your past encumbered observations. Avoid the patterns that lead you into emotional reactivity.

What are these feelings arising in me? Emotional reality is created through the language we use. Distinguish your beliefs from your emotions and avoid shifting the responsibility for your feelings onto someone else. Let go off the pattern of victimization.
What do I need that I’m not receiving? We expect people around us to know what we are looking for. Don’t assume and take the responsibility of identifying your own needs and communicating them to increase your chances of getting them.

What am I asking for? The more specifically we can formulate a request, the more likely we are to see it fulfilled. Identify behavior that will satisfy your need, surrender to the wisdom of uncertainty, allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for what you need. Then, observe your response from the state of witnessing awareness.

I was looking forward to testing out this model, and sure enough I had another “Dyson opportunity.” Below is how my response changed based on what I learned.

Scenario II (Conscious Communication): At the sight of the vacuum cleaner, thinking to myself “I see the vacuum cleaner in the living room (observation). I am not appreciated”. Internal voice, “It sounds like the language of victimization that will lead me to a reactive response. Maybe I should rephrase it.” Trying again in my head, “The vacuum cleaner is in the room. It has been there for three days. I don’t like seeing it there, because it makes me feel tired and overwhelmed (feelings; taking responsibility for how I feel).”

At this point I feel ready to voice it, “I noticed the vacuum cleaner has been standing in the living room for three days” (observation). My husband, “Oh, yeah..I know.” I continue, “When I see it standing there, I feel tired, because it makes me feel that cleaning is never finished (feelings). I really need to have a few days when I do not need to think about cleaning, so all the cleaning reminders I put away. I would really like it if you put it away within a day of vacuuming (needs). Do you think you can do it? (request vs. demand). To my big surprise, the light bulb went off and my husband understood how I felt and what I needed. So, Dyson is not on display in our living room any longer.

What do you think about trying these four questions? What struggles do you have with communication?

From the time when we are babies, we are used to our parents meeting our needs without us even asking. When we grow up, we expect the same from people around us. We forget that we need to take responsibility for how we feel (regardless of what the person next to us is doing/saying), express our feelings and needs to others in a clear way. This approach will provide you with a much better chance of having your needs met. Marshall Rosenberg’s book can really change the way you and your close ones communicate with each other.

Finding Your Priorities

2009-10-06T23:19:00.003-04:00

“Whatever you have experienced in your life is carved in stone. But today---at this very moment---you have the power to make the shift from where you are to where you want to be. You are never stuck… you always have a choice. You just have to give yourself permission to grow, to love, to thrive. “

- DAVIDJI

Photo by ::Taylor::

We have talked before about how many of us believe there is just not enough time in the day or energy in our bodies to accomplish all that we need or want to. The juggle of life with multiple roles (e.g., family, work, personal time) can feel overwhelming and lead one to start to focus attention more on the negative than the positive. “I just can’t do it all” becomes the motto, rather than “I love what I am doing.”

Feeling a sense of accomplishment, rather than defeat, requires us to use the time and energy we do have on our priorities, rather than the things that are not all that important. This sounds great in theory, but how does it actually work in real life? How can we feel like we aren’t neglecting one area or another and feel a sense of achievement and satisfaction in our lives? How do we make sure that our priorities don’t get lost in the “hamster wheel” of life? The following is a 4-step guide to start doing just that:

1. Find out what your priorities are. Some of the messages we hear in society tell us what our priorities should be, but we need to find out what is really important to us individually. The Meaning in Life Evaluation Scale (Henrion & Crumbaugh, 1992) is a tool to help us do that. James C. Crumbaugh was a psychologist who studied life purpose and devoted much of his career to helping his patients find the meaning in their lives. He created a theory and treatmentcalled “logotherapy,” and while we won’t go into the details of it here, we will take some of his ideas to help us find balance simply.

The Meaning in Life Evaluation Scale takes a list of common life values (based on research showing that these were the ones people most wanted in life) and, with forced choice methodology, helps a person to determine what his/her personal life values are. Here is the list:

1. Wealth ____________________________
2. Lasting friendships ____________________________
3. Physical sex ____________________________
4. A good name (high character) ____________________________
5. To be remembered favorably after death ____________________________
6. To gain intimacy ____________________________
7. To be a great leader of people ____________________________
8. Health ____________________________
9. To have power ____________________________
10. To be of great service to people ____________________________
11. To be famous ____________________________
12. To be physically powerful or beautiful ____________________________
13. To be an intellectual ____________________________
14. To find adventure and new experience ____________________________
15. To be happy ____________________________
16. To understand the meaning of life ____________________________
17. To fulfill spiritual goals ____________________________
18. To have peace of mind ____________________________
19. To gain social acceptance and belonging ____________________________
20. To gain a personal identity ____________________________

To complete the evaluation, start with #1 (Wealth). Compare #1 with #2 (Lasting friendships). Which is more important to you? How often would you choose #1 in comparison to #2? If you would prefer wealth to lasting friendships, put a hash mark next to #1. (If the opposite is true and you would prefer lasting friendships to wealth, put the hash mark next to #2). Now, continue making comparisons between #1 (Wealth) and the other values on the list (#3, then #4, etc.), all the way down to #20, making hash marks by the chosen value as you go. Now, go back to the top and start with #2 (Lasting friendships) and compare it to #3 (Physical sex), then #4, and so on down the list. Start back at the top with #3, and continue in the same fashion until at last you are comparing #19 (To gain social acceptance and belonging) to #20 (To gain a personal identity).

After completing the evaluation, tabulate your hash marks next to each value. Now, rank order these values – your top priorities are those that received the most hash marks. This evaluation differs from the typical method of listing out priorities because it forces you to choose between two identified values. What our culture has told us about what is important is hard to tease out of a list, but when we are forced to choose between two, even two that are both important, our priorities are more clearly revealed.

2. Look at your list of priorities and think about them. Is this how you would have expected the list to turn out? Are there any surprises? Now, talk with your loved ones and people who you trust in your life. What do they think about your list? The goal of this step is just to digest what you’ve evaluated and learned about yourself. Sometimes the resulting list can be shocking. Processing your feelings about it and taking some time to understand it is an important part of this process.

3. Take your top 5 priorities (a few more if you had some that were really close in score), and write them down on a piece of paper. Make 2 columns next to each value – one for behaviors consistent with this value and one for behaviors inconsistent with this value.

Now, examine your life, and think about the behaviors you engage in on a regular basis (daily, weekly, or monthly). Which of those behaviors support or nurture the identified values? Write them in the column under “Consistent Behaviors.” Which of those behaviors contradict those identified values or place a barrier between you and them? Write those in the “Inconsistent Behaviors” column. So for example, if the identified value is Health, you may add “exercise 3 times per week” under the consistent behaviors column, and “smoking” under the inconsistent behaviors column. It may be helpful to enlist the help of a trusted loved one on this step, as well. Sometimes the people close to us can tell us more about our behaviors that we are aware of. Ask your spouse, friend, or co-worker what they see in your regular actions.

4. Think about the behaviors you have written out and whether or not they are consistent with your values and priorities. It is easy to say something like, “Family comes first,” or “My health is a priority.” But when the rubber meets the road, do those priorities really come out first? Do you behave in a way that supports the things that are most important to you? Do you feel nourished by the behaviors you engage in? What do you need to change?

Most of us can find areas in which we can change and make improvements. Work on increasing the behaviors that fall into that first column of consistent behaviors and decreasing those that are inconsistent. Think about the other things you spend your time and energy doing. Do they support one of these top values or priorities? If not, can you drop it out of your life or at least reduce it? Are you spending your energy on something out of habit? Be conscious about how you spend your time. Make mindful decisions to engage in one or two (or more) behaviors that can bring you closer to your priorities and values. You will be amazed at how authentic you feel, how much more energy you have for yourself and others .

We all have a finite amount of time and energy in our lives. Doesn’t it make sense to spend those on the activities and pursuits that are most important to us? It is easy to lose sight of our priorities, especially when the demands placed on us are overwhelming. Taking the time to evaluate ourselves and re-establish our values is not only important, it is vital to our success, health, relationships with others, and happiness. If we don’t do it and we spend all of our resources on things that ultimately are not important and nourishing to us, we will quickly feel more and more burdened. So, take this Meaning in Life Evaluation Scale, rediscover what is most important to you, and then make life changes to support those things. Use your newfound knowledge to decrease your stress and feel more balanced.

Reference: Henrion, R. & Crumbaugh, J.C. (1992). Logotherapy: New help for problem drinkers. Chicago: Nelson-Hall.

Early Riser

2009-10-02T07:05:00.002-04:00

Photo by diana827

“I am up before the sun.
My day is full of moments and I make them all count.
I see that my needs are met.
I am strong and reliable.
I always want to feel this alive.”

I cut this quote out of a magazine ad many years ago and stuck it in a journal for inspiration. I don’t even remember what the advertisement was for (Running shoes? Granola bars?) What I do remember is that reading it then provided me with a sense of balance… a visualization that brought instant relaxation… and the same is true today. Making moments count, meeting needs, feeling strong… yep, that equals balance for me.

The key to this quote for me, though, is the first line: “I am up before the sun.” This has been an important part of my quest for balance. I’ve often wished for more hours in the day, more time to get things accomplished. And while my earnest wishes haven’t been granted, I have found that early rising helps. I don’t consider myself a morning person. I’m not one of those folks who can wake up early without the alarm, or who is chipper and energetic right out of bed. Quite the opposite is true. My husband jokes that he waits to talk to me until I’ve been awake for a couple of hours and had my breakfast and cup of tea. Before then, he usually only gets grunts and dirty looks in response to his questions.

But I have found that rising before the sun and before the rest of my household allows me more time for myself. I often use that time for exercise, or reading, or writing (this post, for example), or whatever suits me that day. I have that time to gather my thoughts, fully wake up, and gain motivation for the rest of the day. As soon as everyone else gets moving and the sky turns orange with the peeking of the sun, the day kicks in to high gear quickly. Having some time to bring it in slowly before then brings a sense of balance and much-needed me-time.

If you are interested in trying this early rising as a method to balancing work and family roles, there are a few tips that may be helpful.

· First, adequate sleep is a must. None of us function well on less than optimal sleep, and so we have to make time for shut-eye. That means that in order to rise early, you must go to bed early as well. An average of 8 hours is suggested by most sleep experts (although some people require more or less), so plan your schedule accordingly. I have tried to stay up late, thinking surely I will be able to get up with that alarm… but when it goes off a few hours later, I’m tired and unmotivated. So, early to bed, early to rise.

· Establish a consistent sleep pattern. Go to bed the same time each night (even weekends) and get up the same time each morning (yep, even weekends). Our bodies are like biological clocks. Once they get accustomed to a routine, they stick with it. Two weeks is usually all it takes to establish a new sleep routine, so figure out your optimal pattern, and stick with it.

· If you have other people in your home who are impacted by your wake time, talk with them about your plans. Nothing hampers good intentions to rise early more than an unsupportive partner who complains about the alarm going off before the sun rises or who keeps you up later than you’d like at night. Come up with a plan that works for everyone and that is realistic for you.

· Use the alarm! Yes, sleep experts indicate that if you are getting adequate sleep and are maintaining a healthy sleep pattern, you should not need an alarm to wake up. I have found, however, that especially when starting out with a new schedule, you need some additional help. The alarm ensures you stick with your plan and provides some extra motivation in those early hours to rise and shine.

· Plan an enjoyable activity for yourself ahead of time that you will want to engage in upon rising. If you have something fun to look forward to, you will be much more motivated to get up early. This is a great time to get in some exercise or have some quiet time for hobbies. Make sure what you plan is realistic (no drum practice if you have others at home, for example!) and something you look forward to.

· Reap the benefits! Try your new schedule for 2 weeks and see how it makes you feel. Do you have more energy later in the day? Do you get more accomplished by having that extra time in the morning?

Early rising ensures you have a full day of moments that you can make count. It starts you off in a state of relaxation, as opposed to a hair-on-fire mode of hurry, hurry, hurry. So give it a try and see if being up before the sun can be part of your simple balance.

What do you think about early rising?

Thoughts

2009-09-28T21:58:00.003-04:00

Photo by Ozyman

Here are a few thoughts for the week related to finding simple balance:

:: “People don't devote enough time to thinking seriously about how they spend their life and how much of it they actually enjoy.” - David Schkade, PhD, from O, The Oprah Magazine March 2008

:: “There’s no secret to balance. You just have to feel the waves.” - Frank Herbert

:: “The simplest things are often the truest.” - Richard Bach

Where do you see yourself in these quotes? What can you put into action this week to help you achieve simple balance?

Rules for Healthy Eating

2009-09-24T21:17:00.004-04:00

Aundrea Tucker is back today with more great information about finding balance with nutrition. When life is hectic and we are running (sometimes literally!) from place to place, being intentional about what we put into our bodies does not come easily. Here are some simple rules for healthy eating that don't require a lot of time. Applying some of these rules, bit by bit, may have a positive impact on the way you feel and then how well you are able to balance your multiple life roles. For more information contact Aundrea Tucker with Pure Potential Wellness, LLC at http://www.purepotentialwellness.com/.

Photo by La tartine gourmande

1. Eat 90% of your food to nourish your body and 10% just for fun. This is a major improvement over half for fun and half for health and it allows for the occasional chocolate chip cookie, glass of wine, or serving of steak. Your eating doesn’t have to be perfect, just look for progress!

2. The life in foods gives us life. When possible eat local foods in season. They usually have the highest nutrient content and the greatest enzyme activity. Eat foods that will spoil. This insures that the food still has life in it! Food is fuel and food gives us energy. Because we really are what we eat, if we eat foods that have little enzyme activity, they don’t “spark” our body to work correctly. Enzymes are to our body what spark plugs are to the engine of our car. Without those sparks, the car doesn’t run right. Processed foods are devitalized of these “sparks”.

3. Eat a rainbow of fruits and vegetables every day! Eat at least 5 servings, preferably up to 9 or 12 servings, of fruits and vegetables each day. Fresh fruits and vegetables are loaded with enzymes, vitamins, minerals, and important phytonutrients such as carotenoids and bioflavonoids that protect us from cancer, heart disease, and most other chronic degenerative illnesses. Fruits and vegetables also provide us with fiber. Each month we discover more about the marvels of produce.

4. Choose organically grown foods whenever possible. The average American eats a pound of herbicides and pesticides each year. Organically grown foods generally have higher levels of nutrients because organic farmers pay more attention to their animals’ health and to their soils. The mineral levels in organically grown food were twice as high, on average, as commercially grown foods. Animals raised without hormones and antibiotics can’t pass them along to humans. Research is more strongly linking them with breast and prostate cancer each year.

Photo by Niamheen

5. Increase high-fiber foods--if you can tolerate them. Americans eat 12 grams of fiber on average each day. Recommendations from the National Cancer Institute are to consume 20-30 grams of fiber daily--the same amount Americans ate in 1850. Richest sources are whole grains (brown rice, millet, buckwheat, oats, and quinoa), legumes, vegetables and fruits. Fiber protects our colon health, and reduces our risk or colon and breast cancer.

6. Eat adequate protein for your body type. We find protein in virtually all food. Protein is the main building block of our body--the matrix of bone, substance of muscle, our immune system, and many of our hormones. Fruits, vegetables, and grains are excellent sources of protein.

7. Eat high quality fats. Fats found in fish (salmon, mackerel, tuna, and sardines), nuts, seeds, and grains provide nutrients called essential fatty acids. Even though Americans eat a lot of fat, many of us are deficient in these protective oils. Make sure to get some every day.

8. Drink pure water. Find out about your water quality. Use a filtering system of some type to remove chlorine and toxic substances. These rules will work no matter which basic diet works best for you. You can change the way you feel simply by eating better quality foods. Remember to make changes one step at a time.

What healthy eating “rules” do you live by?

Saving Time On-Line: RSS Feeds

2009-09-22T20:33:00.004-04:00

Photo by harrietbarber

Several people have asked me recently about what it means to subscribe to a blog, and what exactly an RSS feed or reader is. So, we thought it might be helpful to have a little tutorial here at :simple:balance: to give you more information about the concepts involved and explain how you can subscribe to this blog (or any others you like).

First off, in the name of simplicity and finding balance in life, I promise that using an RSS reader will save you a LOT of time! Afterall, we barely have time to accomplish what we need to in the day… making time for things we want to do (like reading interesting blogs or websites) has to fit easily into our juggle in order to be feasible. Who has time to visit the websites they like everyday to check to see if there is something new posted? I used to maintain a list of bookmarks under my “Favorites” tab and scroll through them when I had time, checking to see what was new on each site. This took a LOT of time and, honestly, became something that I didn’t have time to do and so got dropped off my to-do list. I’m not a believer in spending all of my free time in front of a computer screen. But I do believe in the benefits of technology: staying in touch with other people, having a wealth of information at my fingertips when I need it, and having a tool to research and continue to learn about a variety of interesting topics. So while I don’t have time to surf the net for hours on end, I do want to stay connected. Enter RSS feeds and readers.

What does the terminology mean?

RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication. It is basically a readable summary of the contents of a website. An RSS feed contains the contents of an individual website and is constantly updated as new things are posted to that site. A reader is the personalized tool you use to aggregate all of the updates, or feeds, from the websites you want - all in one convenient location.

How do I use a reader?

There are various options out there for readers, including Google reader, Blog Lines, NewsGator, and more. I suggest you check out several and choose one that best fits your needs. I personally use Google reader because it is so simple – already having a Google account allowed me to easily set up my reader. You will need to sign up and create a reader with whichever server you choose (usually just a couple of steps and very easy)… and then you are ready to go!

Once you have set up your reader, you can add feeds to it. An orange feed icon is typically used to indicate that feed subscription is available on a website. You may have seen these around the blogosphere and on other websites – clicking on the icon will subscribe you to that site’s RSS feed, and then you will start receiving those posts into your reader. You can also type a web address into your reader and it will automatically be added to your list of feeds. It really is that simple!

YouTube has a great video tutorial (less than 5 minutes long) that shows you how to use Google reader.

Now what?

Now, you are set to stay in touch with your favorite websites without wasting huge amounts of time. No more searching through your favorites only to find that they don’t have anything new posted. You will now be automatically notified when something new is added and have it in your reader, ready for you to read when you have time.

This has been a huge time-saver for me. I have found that I am able to stay in touch with more sites than I ever would have been without my reader. And since the updates aggregate in my reader, I can get to them when I have time. That might be today, or might be next week – either way, the new information will be there waiting for me.

Here at :simple:balance:, we have made it easy for you to subscribe. Look to the right and find the header that says “Subscribe.” You’ll see that little orange icon there, and you can choose to subscribe to posts, all comments, or both. If you click on “Posts,” for example, a list will appear of some of the commonly used readers. Just choose the one that you are signed up with, click on it, and follow a couple of steps to add :simple:balance:’s feed to your reader. Now you are set to stay in touch with us and with other :simple:balance: readers.

Do you use a reader already? If so, how has it impacted your juggle?

If not, are you willing to give it a try?

Balancing On the Go

2009-09-18T10:56:00.004-04:00

Photo by voxefx

I am sitting in the airport, gladly anticipating a flight home. Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling for PLEASURE. It is a different feeling when it is for WORK. I have been away from home for four days, and although I am very excited to be returning home, the days on my trip were quite manageable this time. When I first started traveling for work, I was extremely excited. Then, there was a period of growing fatigue and imbalance associated with food on-the-go, hotel rooms, taxis, rental cars, and airports. After some practice, I now consider myself an experienced traveler and I have learned a few tricks that make me feel less restless when on the go. I hope some of them can be useful to you on your adventures:

Planned packing. Think through your business meetings. You don’t have to wear a different suit every day. A change of shirt and jewelry (tie for guys) can be sufficient. Definitely bring something to change into for the evening, so you get some rest.
Don’t check your luggage (if you can help it). The last thing you want to do is drive around in search of a suit to wear for the morning meeting because your luggage got lost. Also, when you have your bag with you, it shortens your trip on the way back home.
Food has a major influence on making us feel good or bad, balanced or imbalanced.
Yes, airport food is far from being satisfying. So, plan accordingly: eat before traveling to the airport or bring your favorite snacks with you. Also, pay attention to or take notes about the airports. If you travel a lot, you will remember details about the airport and where you may be able to find satisfying food.
The easiest thing to do is to eat at the hotel restaurant. How boring is this? Unless you are really tired and want to be bored, I would suggest trying something local and unique. Of course, you want to make sure that you are in good shape for your work meetings, so the best way to find out what’s good is to ask. I find that asking your contacts (whoever you are visiting) is better than asking the concierge at the hotel. Although the concierge is great for giving you directions, they often just go off the same list of restaurants and don’t share anything unique. So, ask locals for some unique and delicious places.
Exercise can reduce the stress of the day and make you feel much more balanced and on schedule. Check the hotel before you travel to find out if they have a gym or pool. If that sounds like too much after your busy day, ask for some areas where you can safely walk around (malls work, especially if the weather is bad) after your dinner.
Tired of working at the hotel? My favorite is to find a bookstore. Local and chain bookstores typically have a nice area for sitting down (with outlets) and a coffee/tea shop.\
Take time to explore (if there is something to explore). Even if it is driving/walking around and looking at the differences in nature and landscape, or observing people. Discoveries like these can make the trip very enjoyable (even if it means that you are on a rented bike in San Francisco, still wearing your suit pans and heels because you didn’t have enough time to go and change!).
Little things matter. I do not like hotels because they do not feel like home. So, I noticed that simple things like bringing your pair of slippers (I have travel slippers that are always in my bag), some comfortable clothes (e.g., PJs), and your favorite incense (e.g., sandalwood) will make you feel much more relaxed. Of course, you may have your own list, just think about it ahead of time.
Here is the list of cities with suggestions of places to visit from experienced business travelers

These are the tricks that help me feel more balanced. I am always looking for more tips, though. What works for you while traveling?

"Do you ever slow down?"

2009-09-15T23:20:00.005-04:00

Photo by Coogan Photo

I have had this question directed at me numerous times and from various people (usually from my husband as I zip by him in the pursuit of some chore I’m trying to accomplish before hitting the pillow at night). The answer has usually been “no,” but I am working hard to change that.

Our bodies need rest. Our minds need rest. The other people in our lives need for us to rest. It is intuitive and understandable that we cannot accomplish all we need to if we are exhausted. Not to mention the fact that we are not fun to be around when we haven’t had adequate rest. (I’m envisioning memories of my parents swearing that I would never again be allowed to attend a slumber party the day after returning home from an all-nighter with my adolescent friends!) So why is it so hard to slow down? Here are some common myths about slowing down and ways to challenge them in your life.

- "I do not have time to do everything I need to."

So if that is true, how have you survived thus far? It is true that when the to-do list seems never-ending and the available hours in the day dwindle quickly, we are easily overwhelmed. But we survive, and in many cases, actually thrive! It sometimes seems like the possibility of slowing down and taking time for ourselves or our loved ones is just comical. “What, sit down with a glass of wine and book for 20 minutes? What about the dishes, laundry, …? ” But the reality is this: the day is what it is. The 24 hours we are allotted is inflexible, so that means that we have to adjust our expectations. There will always be something we have to do, and if we are in a constant sprint, we will never feel satisfied. Making a conscious choice to stop is difficult, but necessary. You may not completely finish that to-do list today, but is that really a disaster? Wouldn’t a few minutes to yourself and a good night’s sleep offer more in terms of your ability to be productive?

- "I don’t know how to slow down."

So practice. If you don’t ever try it, you will never learn how. So here’s a suggestion for a start: give yourself 10 minutes a day for two weeks. Choose to try this at a time of day in which you are more prone to feel relaxed. For some folks, that’s first thing in the morning before things get rolling; for others, it would be in the evening before bed. Pay attention to your natural instincts for relaxation and take advantage of them. Ten minutes is all you need to start with. Enjoy a relaxing beverage (not caffeinated, of course) and an activity that diverts your attention from stressors (e.g., reading, sewing, meditating, sitting on a porch and day dreaming or doing absolutely nothing). During that time, if you are having difficulty relaxing, that’s ok. Stick with it for the 10 minutes and then give yourself permission to stop. I guarantee that after a couple of weeks of trying this, it will become more natural, more a part of your routine, and something you will look forward to.

So, what do you think? Would you be willing to give it a try for two weeks? What do you have to lose? For me, I realized that when the people around me were commenting about my lack of slowing down, it was an issue. I knew that I felt scattered, but didn’t actually realize that it was evident to anyone outside of my head. I took the two-week challenge myself, and am now hooked on my downtime each evening. A book, cup of tea, and time with my husband is something that I work hard to get to each night. Just the thought of it in the midst of a hectic afternoon calms me and helps me remember that the day is what it is. I can only do so much, and I and the people I love are better off with a slowed down me.

Are you willing to try the two-week challenge? If so, let us know here how it goes. What are the challenges? What is your response? What do the people around you say?

:simple:balance: Survey, Part 2

2009-09-11T21:45:00.003-04:00

Finding the right balance between work life and personal life takes time, practice, and a lot of trial-and-error. With any challenging situation, I also find that throwing myself into researching a topic helps to give me new ideas and different perspectives on whatever problem I am trying to solve. I don’t consider work-life balance to be a solution to a particular problem, but more of an ever-evolving concept that ebbs and flows, depending on what demands, people, and choices are in play. Nevertheless, the investigation is still extremely valuable. My own work-life balance research, along with that I have studied and continue to explore, have helped to give me new insight into finding balance in my own life. And with ever-changing conditions inherent in life, like any good researcher would, I keep asking questions and keep seeking answers.

Photo by suttonhoo

In the spirit of keeping ourselves informed and gaining new perspectives, here are some more results from the survey we conducted about work-life balance prior to launching this blog. As described in the first summary of results, one thing that particularly stood out to us was that, despite the many challenges balancing roles presents, we keep at it. The benefits apparently outweigh the costs. But how do we do it? Here are some of the things we found:

:: When the juggle of work and life roles seems overwhelming, we tend to rely on support from friends, a spouse/partner, and extended family the most. God/church/religious faith, self-reflection (e.g., meditation, prayer, journaling), exercise, and hobbies/self-care were used less frequently than the individuals noted above, but were mentioned as also being important. And lastly, children, pets, and co-workers were indicated to be the least relied upon resources. What was especially interesting to me was that out of all the survey respondents, only 2% mentioned co-workers as a support resource. Why are we not using work-related resources for support? What else are we potentially missing?

:: A question related to expectations about balancing work and life roles and how those expectations are realized revealed three categories of responses: (1) “It is harder than expected”; (2) “It is better than expected,” and (3) “I had no expectations prior to taking on multiple roles.”
- Those in category 1 identified struggles related to limited time (not a surprise to any of us in the juggle, I’m sure!), fatigue, and guilt about not being able to give 100% to all roles. In addition, several respondents indicated that their expectations about how much support they would receive, especially from a spouse or partner, were not realized. Perhaps asking for help is a difficulty that many of us face.
- Those in category 2 gave a lot of examples of foregoing perfection and maintaining flexibility in order to find balance. Several respondents said that they have had to give up things in order to make their lives work, but they stressed the belief that if they were able to give it up, it must not have been a priority in the first place. Sometimes constraints on our time and resources force us to make choices and re-focus on those things that are most important to us. In addition, many people indicated that they believe they are better at one role or another because of their multiple involvements. Again, the enrichment of the various activities and responsibilities stood out.
- The 3rd category of responses suggested that perhaps the lack of expectations was also related to a lack of planning. For some, that has apparently led to a sense of imbalance. For others, a sense that the flexibility of life and changes inherent in living it means that expectations are of little use. Perhaps a balance (pardon the pun!) between the two views is the most helpful. Maybe some planning and expectations about how to handle life’s responsibilities can provide a sense of control and balance… while on the flip-side, maintaining flexibility within those expectations in order to adapt to changes allows one to feel balanced even when things are not working out as planned. Afterall, changes to our original plan can be a very good thing!

:: When we asked about what readers of :simple:balance: would like to learn more about, it was apparent from many respondents that gathering multiple viewpoints and hearing from individuals with different life situations would be most beneficial. We are attempting to provide that via various guest writers about many different topics. But we realize that it would also be beneficial to you readers to hear from each other. So, take this opportunity to share some of your insights and post some of your own questions. Join us on the journey of seeking answers to finding simple balance.

Photo by Shira Golding

What do you think about the results summarized above?

Which category of responses to the question about expectations would you fall into? Why?

Do you use work-related resources for support? If so, how?

Confused About What To Eat?

2009-09-08T12:47:00.007-04:00

Photo by Natalie Maynor
The summer is over, the fall is here. The change of seasons is a good time to think about what can be done differently, especially when it comes to your food choices. Food is our medicine and what you put inside your body will greatly impact your sense of balance and your energy levels. Aundrea Tucker, a certified Holistic Coach from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, is back to help you get started on the right track. Learn more about what Aundrea does by going to her website.

You are not alone! Today, more than ever before, you really need to understand more about food and nutrition. The first rule of good nutrition is to pay attention to your own body and how you feel when you eat certain foods. Just as each of us have a different face and body type, each of us also have unique biochemical needs which are represented by the foods and supplements which make us feel best. This concept is called “bio-individuality”.

For the most part, Americans eat poorly. By government statistics we eat 18% of our calories each day as sugar, 18% as saturated fats, and 17% in processed foods, and adults consume 3-10% of our calories each day in alcoholic beverages. When you add these up, we eat over half of our foods each day as high calorie, low nutrient density foods. So is it any wonder that over time we feel fatigued and become sick?

All the major changes in our food supply have occurred since World War II. We transport foods differently. We grow foods from hybrid seeds. We use more pesticides and fungicides. We have microwave ovens and irradiated foods. We have frozen foods and more and more processed foods. Our food is different, but our bodies are the same, and collectively, they are giving us BIG CLUES that we’re on the wrong track. So, what can we do to eat better?

First, clear out all the foods you should not eat from your home. Clean out your cabinets, refrigerator and freezer. Toss out any foods that contain hydrogenated vegetable oil, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, or vegetable shortening. These re-structured “trans” fats are #1 on the NO! list. Industry uses them because they are cheap, have a long shelf life and give a buttery texture to foods. While this enables manufacturers to produce products, which meet their needs, they don’t meet yours. They’ve also been associated with atherosclerosis, some types of cancer and all inflammatory illnesses, like arthritis, eczema, irritable bowel syndrome and more. These fats play at least as large a role in heart disease as do saturated fats. You’ll find them in most crackers, cookies, and packaged foods.

Next, get rid of the high sugar foods, highly processed foods including white flour products, and food that contain a lot of food additives including artificial colors and flavors, and preservatives. The average American consumes 135 pounds of sugar each and 14 pounds of food additives each year. Sugar tastes good, but is considered an empty calorie because it depletes us of nutrients like chromium and B complex vitamins, which are necessary for its metabolism but missing from sugar itself. It also displaces more nutritious food. White flour has lost about 70% of the nutrients of whole wheat flour. And while food additives have been tested in isolation, food scientists do not know what effects they have on us long term in combination. Think of Mentos in Pepsi.

Take control of your health. Significantly decrease the junk, and increase your intake of whole foods. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes in your energy level and your immune system.

What insight, tips, or tricks have helped you make better food choices?

For more information contact Aundrea Tucker with Pure Potential Wellness, LLC

Yes, You Can Say No to Let Go

2009-09-05T14:42:00.007-04:00

Photo by Julianne Hide

For years, I have had a difficult time saying “No” to plans that were in the way of me feeling more balanced or relationships that were not very nourishing to my sense of balance. By any means, I do not think I became an expert in saying “No,” but I definitely see some progress in how I relate to the world.

Has anyone experienced a tendency to overload themselves? Do you set up unrealistic goals for yourself at work? Do you plan so many activities for your vacation or weekends that you end up feeling that you need a long break to recover from your time-off? Have you dragged on friendships or relationships just because you didn’t have enough courage or did not want to offend anyone by making a change? All of the previous questions are just small examples of situations known to create a sense of imbalance in our life. In fact, research shows that the more family and work demands we have, the more challenging it is for us to feel balance. Of course, there are some demands (e.g., childcare, deadline for a project at work) that may be difficult to control and we have to just find ways to work with them. But, there are other demands that we can control and by doing so we may create some energy/space to deal with things that are more important, fulfilling, etc.

Here are some pointers that may help you say “No”:

Be more aware and recognize situations that lead you to making engagements that you may later regret. If you can just pause and think before you make a commitment, you may often recognize a familiar pattern. For example, a friend may be asking you about getting together. Although, it would be fun, deep down inside, you may know that you need to spend some time at home. You may feel torn, but being in touch with your true feelings should help you make the right decision;

Ask close relations to help you recognize when you are overloading yourself. For instance, I often ask my husband to let me know that I am overdoing or over-planning;

Delay the answer for a few days. Sometimes, it is easier to make a decision if you separate from the situation. “Sleep on it” before you make a commitment;

Be realistic about what can be accomplished at work/home/vacation. Notice if you always tend to set up extremely high goals for yourself and get disappointed when you cannot meet them;

Frequently evaluate the relationships in your life. Are they nourishing? Do they make you feel good? If the answer is “no” for some, think about a possibility of change;

Strive towards simplicity. This applies to relationships, engagements, goals. The more complicated our life is, the easier it is to feel imbalanced;

Listen to your body and your internal voice. Often, the internal wisdom will give you signs of a decision that is not very nourishing or fulfilling.

What are you strategies for finding the courage to say “No”? Please share with others!

Join us for a chat

2009-09-02T07:19:00.005-04:00

Photo by arty_zen

One of our goals for :simple:balance: is to create a community of people who can share ideas about balancing life and work. We are not the experts, by any means, but rather facilitators who can share helpful information. And we would benefit ourselves from hearing your ideas. The survey we did initially to find out what readers would want from this blog revealed that you, too, want to hear from other folks.

In the spirit of community, please join us for a chat on :simple:balance. Grab a cup of tea, glass of wine, or whatever your tastes desire, and sit down for a few minutes with us. Share your thoughts with others who may benefit from additional insight, and pose questions about issues that you are struggling with. We will start the conversation with a few questions here. Feel free to address these or create your own in the comments below. We look forward to hearing from you.

:: As we've read, social support and asking others for help is a key for balancing multiple roles. Who do you rely on for support in your life, and why them?

:: Imagine your ideal day while balancing your roles... What does it look like? What are you doing differently from what you do on a typical day now? How can you start to implement change?

:: What more would you like to see on :simple:balance:?

Is the Food You're Eating Affecting Your Sleep?

2009-08-27T22:41:00.010-04:00

Photo by Ashikin Abdulah

Quality sleep impacts our ability to feel and experience life to the fullest. When we sleep well, we feel more balanced at work and at home.

Today, we welcome back Aundrea Tucker who is a Certified Holistic Coach from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Aundrea prepared some hints for you to help you snooze better. For more information, please visit her website.

You have to sleep well to perform well. Do you know that what you eat affects how you sleep? Some foods contribute to restful sleep; other foods keep you awake.

Sleepers are tryptophan-containing foods. Tryptophan (which is converted to an amino acid called L-tryptophan) is the raw material that the brain uses to build sleep-inducing substances (relaxing neurotransmitters) serotonin and melatonin. Adequate serotonin levels promote deep, restorative sleep. Eating carbohydrates with tryptophan-containing foods makes this calming amino acid more available to the brain. A high carbohydrate meal stimulates the release of insulin, which helps clear those amino acids that compete with tryptophan from the bloodstream, allowing more of this natural sleep-inducing amino acid to enter the brain and manufacture sleep-inducing substances. Eating a high-protein meal without accompanying carbohydrates may keep you awake, since protein-rich foods also contain the amino acid, tyrosine, which perks up the brain.

List of foods for a good sleep:

Foods that are high in carbohydrates and calcium, and medium-to-low in protein are ideal for promoting sleep:

Organic Soy products: soy milk, tofu, soybean nuts
Honey (use sparingly)
Almonds, hazelnuts
Peanuts
Banana
Whole grains
Beans
Rice
Oatmeal
Hummus
Lentils
Avocado
Sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, flaxseeds
Papaya
Mushrooms
Grapefruit

Sleep-inducing bedtime snacks:

An all-carbohydrate snack, especially one high in junk sugars, is less likely to help you sleep. You'll miss out on the sleep-inducing effects of tryptophan, and you may set off the roller-coaster effect of plummeting blood sugar followed by the release of stress hormones that will keep you awake. The best bedtime snack is one that has both complex carbohydrates and protein, and some calcium. Calcium helps the brain use the tryptophan to manufacture melatonin. This explains why dairy products, which contain both tryptophan and calcium, are one of the top sleep-inducing foods.

Foods that can interfere with sleep:

Some components of food, such as caffeine, artificially wake us up, so it makes no sense to have stimulant-containing foods before bed. Unfortunately, this applies not only to coffee, but to all caffeine-containing foods, and to theophylline-containing foods (like black tea) as well. Chocolate and many soft drinks (including diet soft drinks) have substantial amounts of caffeine. An ounce of chocolate can contain 10-60 mg of caffeine, and a soft drink will usually fall into this same range. Brewed coffee can have over 100 mg per cup, depending on the grind and brewing time. Eliminating these foods from your evening meal routine is recommended for improved sleep.

Some other foods to avoid:

Alcohol and nicotine. Do not use alcohol to help you fall asleep. Although alcohol may initially induce sleep, once it wears off, the sleep tends to be fragmented. Also, limit nicotine prior to bedtime, as it is a stimulant and will keep you up.
Heavy meals less than three hours prior to bed. Meals loaded with calories and fat rev up active digestion and can often leave you feeling uncomfortably full or, even worse, cause heartburn or aggravate a hiatal hernia.
Fatty or spicy foods
Tomatoes
Potatoes
Salt
Onions

Have you experienced sleepless nights thanks to foods that just won’t let you rest? What did you do/eat to help you go back to sleep?

For more information contact Aundrea Tucker with Pure Potential Wellness, LLC http://www.purepotentialwellness.com/

Quality Time

2009-08-25T20:29:00.005-04:00

We are excited to welcome our guest writer today, David. A consultant, family man, and dedicated friend, he faces many challenges in balancing it all, but strives to find time to enjoy these various aspects of his life. He is a man of many hobbies, in addition to his work and family roles, and is an avid sportsman with archery hunting and fly-fishing being his favorites. We look forward to reading more about David’s perspective on :simple:balance:.
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Photo by i b u

I remember back to when I was 8 or 9 years old when my dad and I spent many weekends at a camp that was located on an oxbow lake in Alabama. Whether we were hunting deer and turkey on the land around the lake, duck hunting in the backwater, or fishing for bass, crappie, or bream, we were spending quality time together. No matter what activity we were embarking on, Dad always would ask me what I wanted to do. Even at that young age, I knew that he was putting my interests first during our recreational times together. Our outdoor adventures are just one example of the quality time spent with my Dad; there are numerous other examples that I could mention where he was totally focused on me. No matter what we were doing, Dad always put forth effort to make the most of our time together.

The time spent with my dad was extremely important to both of us because he and my mom divorced when I was 5, and the custody agreement gave my dad the weekends and some weeks during the summer with me when I was out of school. Dad always welcomed others to join us in our hunting and fishing adventures, and I distinctly remember one of his friends commenting on the quality of time that we spent together. This friend had a toddler son of his own that was not quite old enough to come along, but it was obvious that his comment was not only a compliment to Dad but also a proclamation that he too would make a conscious effort to make the future recreational time with his son good, quality time.

Many years later, as I juggle my own work, extra-curricular activities, civic obligations, and time with my family, I hope that I can be as determined as Dad was to make time with my wife and daughter true quality time. It takes a conscious effort to achieve this, especially considering distractions such as the buzzing of the iPhone or the “big game” on TV. No matter what we are doing or where we are at, there is always opportunity to be distracted.

I often have to remind myself to be intentionally involved in the smallest activities like playing on the living room floor or reading to my daughter. The same is true for time in conversation with my wife or on our family outings. One method that helps me focus on my family is turning the distractions off. Yes, the TV and the iPhone have off buttons (or at least mute buttons), and being able to ignore them, even temporarily, allows me to focus on the current moment. Another tool I have found to be helpful is using the outdoors, much like my Dad did. I find it much easier to get away from the hustle and bustle in the outdoors. Walks in a park or camping trips help me focus on my family more than anything else. In the outdoors, I do not find myself having to concentrate on staying focused on the time I am spending with my family; it just comes naturally.

I have, by no means, mastered making all of my time with family good quality time, and I probably never will. But at least I had a good mentor and good times that I can reflect on to guide me along the journey with my own family. How about for you? What tools have you found or methods do you use to ensure the time spent with loved ones is of high quality?

Can You Ask For Help? Can Someone Ask You For Help?

2009-08-23T13:06:00.008-04:00

“Even after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth,
“You owe Me.”
Look what happens with love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky.”
~Hafiz

Photo by flash.pro

Why is support important when it comes to balance? There are quite a few studies showing that social support, coming from family members/friends and work supervisors, helps us feel more balanced and satisfied with many areas of our life (e.g., work and family). Did you know that how much support others are willing to provide is influenced by your personality? It seems logical that if you are easy to deal with (e.g., agreeable) or if you are a little more sociable, you may receive more social support than those of us who are less agreeable and like to keep to ourselves.

For some of us, receiving help may be extremely difficult. We would much rather give than receive! Partially, this is due to the fact that independence is valued highly in our society. Many of us want to be in control of everything we do and to accomplish as many things as possible on our own. We definitely take a lot of pride in being independent. Like with many things in life, there is a downside to the culture of independence. We may be limiting ourselves with how much support we receive and accept from others. In some ways, it is easier to be a strong person who provides advice and support to those around us. There is definitely a skill in opening up to and receiving support. To some extent, it requires some humility and vulnerability to open ourselves up to receive and not just give. But the benefits are great!

Of course, there are also some of us who are open to receiving support but do not have the time/desire/energy to give it to others. Sometimes, we feel that unless it is some big help, others would not appreciate it. However, so many people appreciate little signs of attention and appreciation you can give them. It can be as simple as encouraging a coworker about the work he/she did well. For example, one of my coworkers always has chocolates on her desk and it is so nice to get one every now and then. In return, I share blueberries with her because she loves them. If you cannot go help your friend move to his/her new home, you definitely could find five minutes to give them a call and at least check on them.

Below are some suggestions on how you can receive and give more support, all in the name of balance:

1. Practice the Law of Giving and Receiving at least once a week (e.g., every Monday). This law simply states if you want to love, learn to love. If you want attention and appreciation, learn to give attention and appreciation. If you want material abundance, learn to help others become materially affluent, etc. The key to this law is to give and receive with joy! Here is what you do:

At least once a week, offer a gift, compliment, flower, or help to someone. It does not have to be big; even a small gesture will keep this law circulating in your life.
Gratefully receive everything you are offered. Express appreciation when someone gives something of help to you.
Silently wish everyone you encounter joy, laughter, and happiness.

2. As much as possible, let go of the need to ALWAYS be in control and DO IT ALL ON YOUR OWN. It is OK to get help from your mother, father, friends, or your sibling with whom you may still be in a childish competition with. No, they will not do everything the way you would do it, so make sure you adjust your expectations. But they will do their best and you will have more time to do what you couldn’t have done without their help.

3. Exchange babysitting with your friends and neighbors.

4. Take turns in making dinners for a friend or family member once a month. Many people do it in their neighborhoods and it is a great way to socialize and not have to cook a dinner one night out of the month.

5. Do not assume that your family members and friends know exactly what you need help with. Do not be afraid to ask!

6. Share responsibilities. You may enjoy dusting, while your husband prefers vacuuming. Figure out what each person likes and dislikes, and help each other!

7. When you give or receive help, be very clear about your intentions. People are turned off if they sense that you have a hidden agenda.

8. Express your gratitude! It will make you and others feel good.

I know many of you have a lot more ideas for giving and receiving support. Please share it with others! What works best for you? What gives you the most joy?

:simple:balance: Survey, Part 1

2009-08-14T20:40:00.007-04:00

Photo by onlinesurveys

As mentioned in a previous post, prior to launching :simple:balance:, we conducted an on-line survey to learn more about what potential readers of this blog may be interested in. We asked some basic questions about demographics (gender, age, etc.) and what roles people identify with. We also asked about what challenges people have faced when trying to balance their multiple roles, as well as what benefits they find from their involvement in them. We attempted to take a brief peek into people's lives to see what they do to find balance, who they rely on for support, and whether or not their current life situation meets the expectations they had. The results are really interesting and insightful! We discovered that it’s a complicated world out there for all of us, and there are various routes and different ideas being applied to make it more simple. We love what we learned and want to share it with you!

We plan to take a couple of posts to summarize the results (you respondents had a lot of great things to say!), so this is just the beginning. We thought that you might like to learn more about the survey results and about how the feedback gathered will shape the development of this blog. We realize that the day-in and day-out struggles of someone’s life cannot be captured in a few answers to survey questions. So our plan is to expand on these ideas, learn more about what people had to say, and continue to gather feedback from you, the readers of :simple:balance:. So, check out what we’ve learned so far, and add anything else you think is important. We welcome your comments and discussion!

Who were the respondents and what did they say?

Most of the survey respondents were women with an average age of 35 years. Most were married with children, and all identified with multiple roles. “Friend” was the most identified with role, followed closely by employee, spouse, and parent. Other roles included sibling, child, extracurricular activity participant, partner, extracurricular activity leader, manager/supervisor, and grandparent. It was obvious that folks are tapped into a lot of different activities, and by identifying with multiple roles, it is evident that they are all important.

Most people indicated that the biggest challenge to balancing life roles is related to time, or rather, lack thereof. No surprise, right? How many of us have wished for just a few more hours in the day to get everything on our to-do lists done? What remains a miracle, though, is how we prioritize our roles, the responsibilities they entail, and find time to accomplish any of them. The lack of time leads to depleted energy and feelings of guilt – “I never feel like I’m giving anything 100%” was a common sentiment for many respondents. Sound familiar?

What really stood out in the survey, though, was not the struggles that folks identified. Rather, despite the challenges, people indicated that having multiple life roles is enriching. A variety of daily experiences, relationships with people involved in each role, and being fulfilled on many levels (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual) were some of the benefits noted. “I may not be able to do it all, but I enjoy doing all I can” sums up what many people said.

So what does all of this mean?

We learned that trying to give all, be all, and do all just is not possible. But that doesn’t mean that we should neglect parts of ourselves or our lives just because it is difficult. Finding our niches in the different roles we identify with is well worth the challenge; we thrive in this juggle because of the fulfillment we get from those different roles. If I decided that having friends took too much time, and rather spent my energies on work and family only, I would be missing a huge part of what satisfies me and makes me who I am. And that would probably have a negative impact on my job and my family role.

So, if we were to use one phrase to summarize this first phase of the survey results, it would be this: It is tough. But because it is tough, and because people still engage in all the roles they do, it must be worth it. There must be something reinforcing in all that hard work, or else people wouldn’t do it. Our plan is to take this information, continue to solicit more through the :simple:balance: community, and shape it into simple recommendations that work. So, continue to join us on this journey of finding ways to make the juggle more simple. Because the more simple we can be in our approach to struggles, the more balance we will find… and that will allow us to thrive in all of our life roles.

More to come...

Stay tuned for more results from the survey and ideas gleaned from it. In the meantime, take a few minutes to answer these questions and reflect on them in your own life: (1) What do you find to be the biggest struggle to balancing your various roles?; and (2) On the flip side, what is the most rewarding?

Shredded Summer Salad

2009-08-12T20:36:00.002-04:00

To follow yesterday's post about nutrition and balance, here is a recipe to try while summer is still upon us. Many of the ingredients are in season and can be found at a local farmer's market or in a backyard garden. Easy and good for you - a perfect balance! Let us know what you think about the Summer Shredded Salad, or share another good recipe that you like. Enjoy!

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cooking Time: 1 hour
Yields: 4 servings

Ingredients:
Salad:
1 summer squash or zucchini
1 small seeded cucumber
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
½ tablespoon fresh ginger, grated
½ jalapeno pepper, finely diced
2 stalks celery, finely chopped
½ bunch cilantro, chopped
½ lime, juiced
2 tablespoons sesame oil

Topping:
2 tablespoons curry powder
1 tablespoon cumin
3 tablespoons sesame oil
1 ½ tablespoons tamari
1 cup slivered almonds
1 cup raw pumpkin seeds
½ cup brown rice syrup

Directions:
- Grate summer squash and cucumber, place in a bowl and sprinkle with sea salt. Place the bowl in the fridge for 45 minutes to 1 ½ hours. Remove from the fridge and drain off excess water. Squeeze the squash and cucumber to remove more liquid.
- Place curry, cumin, oil and tamari in pan on medium heat and stir until all flavors blend. Add almonds and pumpkin seeds and stir until all nuts and seeds are evenly coated. Add the rice syrup and cook until liquids are completely evaporated and the mixture begins to brown. Remove the mixture from heat and spread it on a cookie sheet. Set aside until it cools and becomes crisp. When completely cool, chop coarsely.
- Mix the ginger, jalapeno pepper, celery, cilantro, lime juice and oil in a large bowl. Add the pressed squash and cucumber and mix well. If time allows, let salad marinade in fridge for 20 minutes. Add 1 cup of topping to salad.

Notes:
Substitute almonds and pumpkin seeds with your favorite nut or seed.
The remaining topping can be saved for other uses for up to 3-4 weeks in an air tight container.

Unwinding Bad Habits, One Step At A Time

2009-08-11T21:21:00.006-04:00

Our environment has a huge impact on how balanced we feel while trying to manage the ins and outs of our daily lives. One of the easiest ways to impact our feeling of balance is through what we put inside of us - our nutrition. It seems natural that more balanced food will create a physical satisfaction that improves our mental state and allows us to balance responsibilities and roles more easily.

Today we are excited to share guest writer Aundrea Tucker. Aundrea is a Certified Holistic Health Counselor from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. She has great ideas about how nutrition plays a role in life balance and she is sharing some useful information with us today at :simple:balance:. You can learn more on her website, Pure Potential Wellness.
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Photo by La Tartine Gourmande

How many weeks, months or years did it take for you to gain excess weight before your health started to hold you back or until you noticed you didn't feel so hot any more? It didn't happen overnight. The reality is that the changes took place, little by little, one lifestyle change turning into a habit, one step at a time. Is it time to rewind?

Taking that same perspective to get healthy, it wouldn't make any sense to attempt to change everything in one fell swoop. You'll be setting yourself up for disappointment when life interferes. Attempting to maintain dramatic changes over a long period of time is often just too difficult.

So, how do we begin to move into the right direction? You guessed it. One step at a time. Believe me, it's much easier this way. It may not sound as exciting as a “total make-over,” but this is really how transformations occur. Eating right, exercising, getting enough rest and water doesn’t necessarily have the appeal of "lose 7 pounds in 7 days," but neither do erratic moods and temporary weight gain/loss that come with deprivation, denial and restrictive dieting.

Here is a simple plan to get you started:
· Pick ONE goal to focus on for one to two weeks
· Once you’ve accomplished the first goal, reward yourself with a non-food celebration, and then...
· Choose another goal to focus on

Here are some suggestions to try:
· Drink more water (drink half your body weight in ounces daily)
· Exercise for ten minutes a day (and increase the time gradually)
· Eat regular meals (three distinct meals, with two to three healthy snacks)
· Eat fresh veggies in at least one meal a day (increase fruits and veggies over time)
· Start the day off with a hearty breakfast (avoid sugary breakfast foods)
· Pack a nutritious lunch for work twice a week (and increase to at least three days)

Pretty simple, huh? But each step is important. It adds up and begins to create a lifestyle that builds health and reduces your waistline. The hardest part is just getting started … one week in, and you’re on your way!

What suggestions do you have for unwinding not-so-great diet and lifestyle habits?